Most people have heard and experienced in some way shape or form that going to the movies is not nearly as popular as it once was. Industry analysts say sophisticated Home Entertainment systems, DVDs, gasoline price hikes and popcorn price hikes are all cutting into movie attendance. In spite of stadium seating, THX sound, Cold Stone Ice Cream, Dippin’ Dots, free refills, video games, organic nacho cheese and Tom Cruise falling in love with a gun in his hand, the multiplex is still “making it easy for people to stay home,” as Steven Soderbergh said in this month’s Wired Magazine. The answer, according to experts, is to make sure the audience has no other way to see a movie besides sitting in a chair with sticky arm rests behind text messaging teenagers.

So I’m taking a little blue-sky time here to dream of the movie theater that runs on giving me more options, not less. The theater I’d want to live at. (I secretly hope Landmark Theaters will consider this a quick and dirty business plan to elaborate on.)

1. It’s in the neighborhood. If an audience lives within walking distance, there would be no need to buy cheap land for a massive parking lot, and no worries about gas prices. Many old movie houses could be converted back to their original use. (The one in my neighborhood is currently a church.)

2. Beer. Yes, I’m that shallow and so is everyone else I watch movies with.

3. Multiple cuts, a win/win situation. As Soderbergh said in the same article, “I often do very radical cuts of my own films just to experiment…. I think it would be really interesting to have a movie out in release and then, just a few weeks later say, ‘Here’s version 2.0, recut, rescored.’” I like the  film, I come back for the other cut. I hate the film, I try it again with the different cut.

4. Club combos. Like Wednesday night is for Hitchcock and knitting.

5. A grumpy baby room with a two-way mirror for moms to see the screen while they breastfeed (that one’s for my wife) or for dad’s to not miss the action on their night out with baby.

6. The “no-movies” room. This is kind of like the bookstore cafe. You can hang out without paying for a ticket, or just hang around after the flick is over. You know how it breaks the magic sometimes if you leave the theater and then decide where to go and then drive there, get a table, etc.

7. Split screen double feature: Steve McQueen. Two movies, one really wide screen, lots of earbuds. I hold hands with my wife while she watches The Great Escape and I watch Papillon. You definitely can’t get that at home (and maybe there’s a good reason for that).

8. The Movie Book Club. We have a month to read Thinking in Pictures: The Making of the Movie Matewan and then we watch Matewan and discuss.

9. An intermission. If theaters would “pause” the movie for five minutes during an appropriate moment, it would give people a chance to stretch, go pee, or grab another beer (see #2). Two years ago I would have beaten myself for suggesting such a thing. But then I really hurt myself during The Return of the King.

10. An “opening act.” These don’t pay, so it would be before any trailers or ads. But for the hard core, if you come early-maybe 30 minutes before the movie begins-you get to see some experimental work, cartoons, or the work of a local filmmaker.

11. Alternative snack bar–pistacios, dried fruit, popcorn, pretzels, chocolate, maybe even raw veggies and dip. Lots of snacky type things that you load up on a tray and pay for by the ounce (imagine the price of popcorn then). Obviously pizza would be there, wood-fired preferably.

I’m drying up here, but I have the feeling there are more ideas out there, so I want to put some parameters on any additions to this list. 1) It needs to conceivably be a revenue generator, so don’t suggest February as All John Waters Month. 2) It should be an incentive to leave home, so a booth with headphones and a DVD player has some serious overlap with my living room experience, and is therefore disqualified.