OK. Here’s the Spout V-Day question: Is there such a thing as a romantic flick that leaves you feeling the way you want to feel about romance?

I realize there are as many answers to this as there are different types of people, but I’ve been thinking about it, because I’m stumped as to how to spend Valentine’s Day. I feel like I want to ignore it, as always, because of its sad status as a Hallmark holiday. But at the same time, I’m in love! It seems like I shouldn’t let the day go by without some recognition and celebration of love. So…where does that leave me? No trying to get into a favorite restaurant for dinner…no expensive gift…maybe handmade card, a bottle of wine, and a romantic movie at home?

It’s a nice plan, but most movies labeled “romantic” could also be labeled “cheesy.” Do you agree? My friend Ryan does. He happened to be nearby as I was writing this, so I asked him if there are any movies that he’d want to watch with his girlfriend on Valentine’s Day. He mentioned films like The Science of Sleep and Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind and The Last Kiss. “There’s so much more in those movies that helps me connect in real ways to my real relationship,” Ryan said. “I don’t want to just feel good, I want to find something meaningful that I can learn from in a movie.”

My brother Bill (who’s a bit of a romantic in all the best ways) puts his favorite romantic flicks into two categories: “They either capture that idealized romance, or they are very realistic about romance and the difficulties of people actually coming together into a relationship.” He mentioned A Room with a View, The Accidental Tourist, and Moonstruck at the top of his list, along with others: All the Real Girls, The Princess and the Warrior, In the Mood for Love, Before Sunset, Out of Sight, and The English Patient.

Two other things Bill mentioned that I found insightful:

“I do love the period love stories quite a bit, and those are more idealized…It somehow seems we’re more okay accepting the idealized romanticized love story in period garb, like it’s something that doesn’t as much belong in our time.” And: “Even the definition of a ‘Love Story’ is difficult, because that suggests that it must be the main subject of the movie, and I think many of my favorite love stories in movies are not the main point, they’re side episodes or side characters.”

Very true. Maybe that’s key for me in finding a romance movie to watch–the romance should be a side story, not the heart and soul of the film. Warm and fuzzy romances mostly make me feel embarrassed to be crazy-in-love. In some ways, they go as far as to diminish the whole idea of love.

But my purpose here is not to knock the importance of feel-good films (or the importance of feeling good in general). Whatever your preference is when it comes to romantic flicks, check out these lists on Spout if you’re looking for something to watch tonight with your special someone.

Romance (or How I Learned to Fall in Love) by e_machiela

Lover’s Lane by spoutgirl

Romance Films by kunfu-koala

Date Movies by gothere

Romantic Comedies I Love by aktyson

Favorite Romantic Comedies by coppermaus