Over at Sergio Leone and the Infield Flyball Rule, Dennis Cozzalio has offered the film blog world a 28-question “summer midterm.” As he puts it, “We know that the last thing you really want to do in the summer is to be sitting indoors taking a test. But wouldn’t you rather be doing this than seeing Transformers? I thought so. Now get to work!”

I’m not good with long quizzes, so for this week’s installment of The Micro Five, I’ve picked five questions to answer in short essay form. See my answers below, and be sure to check out Dennis’ post to read the 70+ (!) responses. This is pass/fail, right?

1. Describe a famous location from a movie that you have visited (Bodega Bay, California, where the action in The Birds took place, for example). Was it anything like the way it was in the film? Why or why not?

When I was 17, I was briefly employed as a hostess at Dupar’s, a been-there-forever diner in Studio City, CA that was used as a location for Boogie Nights. Dupar’s is the setting of that post-disco scene where Burt Reynolds explains his directorial vision to budding porn star Dirk Diggler. I haven’t read the Boogie Nights script, but I wouldn’t be surprised if sometime-Studio City resident Paul Thomas Anderson had written Dupar’s in by name–it’s a perfectly preserved monument to the Valley’s mid-70s glory, and I’m sure it required minimal set dressing. In my brief time there, I didn’t ID any porn stars (unless Dweezil and Ahmet Zappa have gone X-rated? They were in there a lot), but it was a fairly sleezy place. We were ordered to lie about our failing grade from the health department, and I actually quit after three weeks due to very low-level sexual harassment from my manager: one day he told me I’d “look good in a potato sack,” and in my teenage feminist brain, that was, like, cause for a lawsuit.

2. Best movie about baseball

Um, does Mysterious Skin count? I think it should. A little league coach’s molestation of two members of his team is the pivotal event that sets off the narrative. One of these boys, damaged by the abuse to the point of obsession, goes on to get a job at the field where he used to play and use his workplace as a venue for sexual encounters. I guess it’s no Major League, but it was one of my favorite films of 2005.

3. Favorite Katharine Hepburn performance

It’s got to be Bringing up Baby. I’m sure everyone says that, but how can you not get all googly over the performance that defines screwball? But Baby’s not my favorite Hepburn film; that would be Holiday, which is more of Cary Grant’s show, don’t you think? I don’t know–maybe I just don’t like to see her play the wallflower. Regardless, check out the funny Holiday clip reel above, set to “Spunky” by The Eels.

4. Name a good movie from a bad director

Easy: Ghostbusters, Ivan Reitman.

I really don’t want to turn SpoutBlog into a full-time love-letter to Ghostbusters, but seriously: Ivan Reitman’s sixth film is a genre-bending masterpiece, a sci-fi comedy with the elegance of an old-Hollywood musical that also, in its super-populist way, engages in some kind of a serious contemplation of man’s role in the universe. The rest of Reitman’s resume ranges from barely competent to god-awful. I saw his latest, My Super Ex-Girlfriend, on a plane, and even held captive on a cross-country flight, it was such a visual eyesore that I gave up after about 35 minutes.

5. Favorite quote from a filmmaker

Hmmmm. How about two?

“Mr. and Mrs. Smith get married, they have problems, they get back together and they live happily ever after. End of the movie. Two weeks later, he kills her, grinds her body up, feeds it to his girlfriend who dies of ptomaine poisoning, and her husband is prosecuted and sent to the electric chair for it–but here’s our own little story with the happy ending. What is an ending? There’s no such thing. Death is the only ending.” — Robert Altman

“I don’t think you should feel about a film. You should feel about a woman, not a movie. You can’t kiss a movie.” — Jean-Luc Godard