Over the first few weeks of their relationship, she’ll be forced to divulge more and more details. He’ll freak out; he’ll ask her to duplicate the more raunchy sex acts with him, thinking it will remove the bad taste from his mouth if he could mark his territory, so to speak (Edward, if anything, was a narcissist). It won’t; it will only make him feel worse — knowing she’s done those things with other men — and she’ll feel used and violated in the process…She’ll cry. He’ll walk out. And the next day, the deed to the penthouse they’re staying in will arrive, signed over to Vivian. Underneath Edward’s transfer of ownership signature, it will read, “Services rendered.” And that, folks, will be the end of that.

Pajiba’s Dustin Rowles “debunks” the happy endings of ten romantic comedies with predictions as to what really happened to the lovers at the center of films like Pretty Woman, Sleepless in Seattle and The Princess Bride after the credits rolled. It’s a long read, but consistently LOLworthy.