For the last twenty years, Jodie Foster has had a lot in common with Tom Hanks. They both were nominated for Oscars in 1989, and again in 1995 (she won the first time; he won the second time), a year in which they each were recognized for playing kind of retarded. Each now has two Academy Awards and each is considered a dark, dark horse for this year’s Oscar race (neither will be nominated). Both actors continue to remain at the top of America’s favorites, even when or after they star in critically scorned blockbusters. And now, Foster is apparently trying to add one more thing she has in common with Hanks: she’s gone and made her own Joe vs. the Volcano.

In the trailer for Nim’s Island, we see that Foster’s character, like Hanks’ “Joe”, is a closeted, unwell human being who ends up on a mission to a little island, of which she has been deemed the savior. And like Joe, Foster meets an annoying little blond — though this time it’s child actress Abigail Breslin instead of childish actress Meg Ryan. There are, however, a lot of differences, too. And ultimately, Nim’s Island look a hundred times worse than Joe versus the Volcano — which is saying a lot (Joe has its charms, but it is truly an awful movie).

After watching the trailer, I’m sure a number of you (like me) will be wondering what Foster was thinking. Not only is she doing slapstick falls off a treadmill, doing bad airport security jokes and getting kisses from a sea lion, but she’s also talking to an imaginary friend (Gerard Butler, as the fictional adventure hero she writes about in popular novels). I guess she does have a couple sons now, and every parent likes to do at least one kid-friendly movie — or completely changes his or her career in order to cater to them. But must it be this bad? I can’t wait to read the interviews in which Foster claims she makes too many movies that she can’t show to Kit and Charles and just had to do something they’d enjoy. It’s the oldest defense for crap in Hollywood, and Foster should be too smart to be so lame, predictable and common.