Dear WGA,

I’m sorry for your troubles. I really, really am. But strike beards are sexy. Even the New Yorker says so. And you saw those paparazzi shots of Conan O’Brien, walking around town like a high-fashion lumberjack, right? If a strike beard can do that for Conan, just imagine what it could do for a piece of ass like JJ Abrams. I know it’s wrong, but strike beards kind of make me hope that the AMPTP finds a way to drag this thing out a little bit longer. I mean, not indefinitely––give me, like, a week to get the unshaven screenwriter fantasies out of my system, and then you can go back to the bargaining table. Okay? New episodes of 30 Rock for Valentine’s Day, perhaps?

Love,

Karina