I’m fairly certain Cary Grant was never asked by an interviewer to watch internet scat porn so that his word-for-word reaction could be printed in a major magazine, but poor George Clooney lives in a different time. Presumably because there’s very little new to say about Clooney––he’s good looking! He’s liberal! He’s an Oscar winner prone to making casually derogatory gay jokes about Brad Pitt!!!––and yet, as there’s endless demand for his silver foxiness on magazine covers, Esquire’s AJ Jacobs spent a day with the actor. Surfing the internet.

Towards the end of their session, after Clooney confessed to a certain affection for a YouTube clip called “Monkey Smells Butt,” Jacobs decided it was time to move on to the harder stuff: the poo and puke internet porn sensation of late 2007, 2 Girls 1 Cup. The clip, which spawned a wave of reaction videos last fall, sent the one-time Batman running from the room in disgust. If only Jacobs had whipped out a video camera ala Joel Stein––not only would there be something simply cool about the idea of Everyone’s Favorite Movie Star participating in an online video meme, but I’m sure the document of Clooney’s squeamishness would have been a page view bonanza for the magazine. Alas. Excerpt from the Esquire story after the jump [Via Indie Eye].

At this point, I make a segue that seemed relevant at the time but in retrospect was probably a very bad idea. “You know,” I tell him, “I asked the guy who does the Esquire Website what I should show George Clooney, and he said, ‘Show him 2 Girls 1 Cup.’ ”

“What’s that?”

“It’s the most disturbing video in the history of videos.”

“Show it to me.”

“Really? I don’t know.”

“I can take it,” Clooney says. “I’m a grown-up. We’re all grown-ups.”

“It’s scarring. It’ll scar you forever.”

“Is it long?” he asks.

“No,” I tell him, “but it’s so disturbing. I saw it once and can never get it out of my mind. I can’t watch it again.”

“I want to see it.”

Well, he asked. After a bit of searching, I find the link. I click it.

After several seconds: “It’s not so bad,” he says.

Three seconds later: “Oh.”

Another two seconds: “Oh, my GOD! Oh, my God!! Oh, my God!”

Clooney puts his hand over his mouth like he’s going to throw up. He bolts from his chair and walks out of the room.