The first official press screenings for Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull aren’t for another ten days, but as long as Aint It Cool News exists, you can count on early reactions from the amateur critics. One such person, going by the alias “ShogunMaster,” has a spoiler-filled review that is unfortunately quite negative. Claiming it lacks tension, employs extremely fake-looking props and sets, and features a “horrible” performance from Shia “LaBeef”, the reviewer at least puts some of it into perspective:
Anyway, I don’t want to rant on forever, as it doesn’t matter what I say, you will see this movie regardless. And even though it’s not as bad as Allan Quartermane, it’s definitely not a good Indy Movie. But for those of you that feel that the new Star Wars Movies robbed your childhood, expect some molestations from Uncles’ George and Steven…
Using the publication of that review as a springboard, Jeff Wells at Hollywood Elsewhere shares some comments from an unnamed projectionist, by way of an unnamed friend (keep in mind the old game of telephone), who says the latest Indiana Jones installment is not playing well with young audiences, though older guys like it. Apparently the combo of Indy being an old man and Spielberg directing in an “old-fashioned” manner makes the movie a hit with old people. Wells has heard from another friend who also hints at this demo’s appreciation of the sequel — supposedly some people are even saying it’s the best yet.
Considering old people have great taste (they watch Turner Classic Movies and love bingo, which in my opinion are better than MTV and video games), I’m now looking more forward to Kingdom of the Crystal Skull than before. However, Paramount may be worried since old people aren’t really the target audience for any Hollywood blockbuster (maybe one day Indy 4 will show on TCM). Like “ShogunMaster” says, though, the movie will be a hit regardless of what anyone thinks of it.
In any event, Wells makes a great point about Indy 4 being a huge contrast to this weekend’s opener, Speed Racer, which is reportedly very fast and very flashy and very much for little kids. But could May 2008 be the greatest month in tentpole film history as far as pleasing all the demographics equally? There are blockbusters for kids, teens, old people, and women (Sex and the City). Is there anyone without a reason to go to the movies this month?
3 Comments
That review is probably fake, knowing AICN. Also, ShogunMaster probably lifted the molestation jokes from Brian Poeshn’s routine about Lucas and the Star Wars prequels.
And, yes, here, here, I agree with you, Chris– hearing a rumor that Indy 4 is “old-fashioned” only makes me want to see it more. Besides, there’s needs to be more pop culture for ‘old people’. And I don’t mean pop culture for baby boomers who are holding on to the last vestiges of their youth, but pop culture that implicitly says to people that it’s okay to grow old and become a senior citizen. Our culture is too youth-obsessed, and we need popular entertainment that lets audiences know that old-age isn’t a complete nightmare.
I’m planning to see it with my parents, so I can let you know first hand if it’s a hit with the over-60 crowd. (I saw the first and third movies with my mom, so I thought it was a tradition I should continue.)
Over at filmspotting.net they talked about how annoying it will be if Indy keeps making jokes about how old he’s getting. Old people don’t always have great taste because they like what’s familiar like the rest of us. Only in their case it’s arthritis and dentures. Remember how bad Seabiscuit was? And our elders ate.that.horse.shit.up!