“Did everybody see the film?” Abel Ferrara cried at the jump of the Cannes press conference for Chelsea on the Rocks, compulsively putting on and pulling off a pair of black wraparound sunglasses, sipping on a can of Budweiser. Several journalists coughed in response. Said Ferrara: “What is this, avian flu? Everybody cough, yeah. We got a Howard Hughes complex as it is.”

The press conference as a whole was a woozy, half-sickly, half-populated affair…maybe typical of anything involving Ferrara meeting journalists, but definitely emblematic of the Festival itself at this point. But! But! Ferrara twice talked about Werner Herzog’s alleged Nicolas Cage-starring remake of his Bad Lieutenant––once in response to a question from a reporter, and once just because he apparently felt like he needed to vent.

First, Farrara tagged a comment about the remake on to his answer to a question about working outside the Hollywood system. “As far as remakes go, Harvey [Weinstein? Not mentioned in this Variety story in connection to the project. Keitel, who starred in the original? Hmmmm....] begged me not to say anything mean, or stupid. [pause] But I wish these people die in Hell. I hope they’re all in the same streetcar, and it blows up.”

Later, a different journalist mentioned the remake in the run-up to answering a different question, and Ferrara interrupted.

“It hasn’t been remade yet.”

“But it will be,” the reporter said.

Ferrara shook his head before putting it in his hands. “Don’t count on it.”

Other highlights of the session: When asked to explain “the difference between New York and Los Angeles intellectually speaking,” Dennis Hopper responded, “New York is speed, Los Angeles is qualudes.” Then, this exchange between Hopper and Ferrara:

“I’m about to do a big Hollywood film,” Ferrara says, laughing.
“Yeah, me too!” Dennis Hopper is also laughing.
“We’re fighting over the same job,” says Ferrara. They’re cracking up now.
Hopper: “Yeah, they’re really knocking down our doors!”
“We’re gonna remake John Ford’s The Searchers,” Ferrara says, now seeming serious. Then he and Hopper crack up again. “Who’s gonna play the Indians? Are there any comanches left, or are they all dealing cards?”
Ferrara continues, this time without laughter. “I’m as Hollywood as it comes, and I grew up in Peekskill. It doesn’t matter where the movies are made. I used to say it’s about getting the movies made, and getting them distributed, but I’ve given up on the second half of that.”