First of all, I don’t know what kind of girl out there thinks it’s a good idea to drag their boyfriend to see Sex and the City. If you have no female friends to accompany you on such a journey, chances are you’re not the type of broad who’s really going to get anything out of it anyway; if you STILL feel like you have to see it, are you really so insecure that you can’t go to a movie by yourself? Really, it doesn’t matter. Whatever you’re thinking, please take this advice: there are things you and your boyfriend just don’t need to share. Give him the night off.

Of course, there will be women out there who don’t heed such advice, and for the poor boyfriends caught up in their careless webs, at least there’s something of an outplan. We got a press release at Spout HQ this afternoon about a promotion spearhead by Geek Squad––yeah, as in the orange shirts from Best Buy––designed to “save” the young men of America from a weekend full of “torture” outside the jurisdiction of the Geneva Convention. Sounds noble, right? Or at least, as noble as any totally opportunistic marketing scheme could be. Details after the jump.

Not even the Geneva Convention can save us from the torture about to hit screens tomorrow. Sure Sex and the City will be adored by fanatic females that sip cosmos, adorn Manolos and look for their Mr. Big to get them out of credit card debt, but what about the unfortunate men that get dragged to this film? Don’t worry; Geek Squad has their back.

Geek Squad is heading to movie theaters in New York, Chicago and Los Angeles with quarters—lots of quarters. The mission is simple: Agents will be on site handing out packets with quarters for arcade games. But that’s not all. The packet will also contain a list of highly-accurate Sex and the City themed excuses to help the unfortunate male break free his unfortunate babe-flick bondage.

A cheesey, well-intentioned but not particularly funny clip documenting two alleged Geek Squad members’ trip on one of those Sex and the City-themed tours around New York City––an alleged fact-finding mission to support this weekend’s counter-promo offensive.