We got a quick, edgier look at Quarantine before an uneventful visit from the cast of Underworld: Rise of the Lycans. And then the real entertainment began, as Judd Apatow, Seth Rogen, James Franco, Danny McBride, David Gordon Green, Amber Heard and Evan Goldberg took the stage for inane questions yet plenty of laughs.

Highlights:

- Though Kate Beckinsale is not in the new Underworld prequel, star Rhona Mitra says her skimpy outfit in the movie should keep fans satisfied.

- David Gordon Green apparently directs his actors with commands like, “do it like you’re taking a shit.”

- Coming soon: an episode of The Simpsons written by Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg.

- Rogen continues his career playing druggies and drunks with The Green Hornet.

The Pineapple Express:

7:06 - Q: “If Pineapple Express pot was weird, what would it taste like? Pineapples?”

Seth: “Does any fuckin’ fruity weed taste like the fruit it’s supposed to taste like? No… it just tastes like your throat is burning.”

Seth: “Wow, was that our last question? What a lame way to end this fucking thing!”

And… we’re out, gone, finito, gone in a blaze of glory.

7:05 - Q: “Do you ever want to go back to television?”

Judd: “Well, I’ve been cancelled so many time that I don’t think so. But I love Mad Men so much, so when I watch that I think I would like to get back into television.”

Someone says “I have a gift for you.” then smiles like a creepy guy.

Judd: “Uh, is that the last thing I hear and then I get shot?”

The guy gives him a lame promotional shirt from some stupid website. Really, people. I mean, really.

7:02 - Q: “Uh… I’m really thirsty, can I get a glass of water from you guys?”

Seth: “Uh, no. You’ll get shot. I have a shoot on sight command.”

A guy gets up to ask a question with a Wookie on his back… and Apatow wants to know what the hell that is.

Seth: “That guy have more back hair than you!”

Judd: “That is like me at the beach.”

7:00 - Q: “I heard the script get leaked on the internet, is that true?”

Seth: “Oh, I don’t fuckin’ care. I mean, if you want the script I’ll give it to you. I don’t know anyone who actually reads a script and then doesn’t go to see the movie. There’s no real “Luke, I am your father” revelation at the end of this thing or anything.”

6:57 - Q: “So what was it like being in an action movie with pot? Was it any different than Spider-Man?” The caliber of these questions is just astounding…

Franco: “Uh, well yeah it’s a little different.”

Franco: “I mean, we did all our own stunts, so I actually ended up cracking my head open and having to get stitches…”

Danny McBride: “Yeah, I mean I got hit on the head with a glass bong. That’s the biggest bong hit I’ve ever taken.”

Seth: “That’s not true.”

6:53 - Q: “So… Wikipedia says that Seth was originally cast as the dealer… and James as the other guy. Is that true?”

Judd: “You can’t believe Wikipedia! I mean, according to Wikipedia I can suck my own dick. I mean, I was only able to touch the tip with my tongue. Come on, it’s written by other people.”

Q: “So Seth, what’s your favorite role that you’ve played?”

Seth: “Well, I really throw myself into every role, and they stay with me for months…. okay, not really. This one was pretty cool because I got to shoot a machine gun! Getting to shoot a machine gun definitely makes the day go by faster.”

6:49 - Q: “Did you guys smoke real weed in the movie, or was it just tobacco?”

Seth: “I think it was called Wizard Weed, or something like that.”

Judd: “It was called PCP.”

Q: “So Seth, are you worried about being typecast? You played a drunk and a stoner, and now just a stoner.”

A: “Well, I’m working on The Green Hornet right now. But… he does a lot of ketamine, so that’s something. But, well no… I’m not worried about being typecast. I mean, I write the fuckin’ movies!”

Q: “So how much of Superbad was biographical… I mean, did some chick actually menstruate on you guys?”

A: “Yeah, that was a friend of ours. That actually happened.”

6:47 - A girl gets up and says “My twin sister wanted me to tell you that she thinks you’re really hot.”

Judd: “Oh, what… YOU don’t think he’s hot?”

Girl: “Well, he’s very attractive but…”

Judd: “Is this question a lead-up to can you have a threesome with James?”

I don’t think the girl understood why that was funny.

6:45 - Whoa, now Mrs. Incredible is asking a question about Superbad. “What happened to the line ‘When that guy wakes up, tell him he’s a jerk!’ They took it out of the movie!”

Seth: “Well, it just didn’t get a laugh, so we just took it out.”

Judd: “The term ‘jerk’ lost it’s power around the time of The Little Rascals.”

6:42 - Q: “So how’s the Simpsons episode coming along?”

Seth: “Oh, well pretty good actually, they’re making it! Evan and I wrote this Simpson’s episode and we never heard back from them, so we thought it must have fucking sucked, but hey, they’re making it now.”

A… very nerdy couple get up and ask questions, and the girl introduces a question from her “unattractive friend… just kidding, he’s my best friend,” to which the guy says “Used to be best friend.”

Seth: “Best friend?! You should be fucking that guy!”

6:40 - Okay, the cronies are gone… and now the first real question is from… the little kid from all day. SERIOUSLY. Who are this kid’s parents?

Q: “Hey, Seth Rogen, so cool to see a fellow Canadian doing so well and getting so much work…”

Seth: “Thanks, well you are my son…”

*laughter*

6:38 - Questions from the floor, some of Judd Apatow’s cronies are plants in the question line.

“Um… Mr. Apatow… you were on a panel with Frank Miller the other day… was he cool?”

and

“Mr. Apatow… I’m so nervous right now, my butt is so super sweaty. Is it true that this movie is based on the graphic novel ‘Frank Miller Presents: Pineapple Express’?”

and

“My name is Kevin (nice name) and I’m just so excited right now… I have such a huge hard on. Um, I’m screenwriter, and I’m good friends with McG, and we want to pitch a project to you called “Superbad 2: Full Throttle!”

6:35 - And…. more clips.

It’s the high speed police car chase where Franco’s foot gets stuck in the windshield.

I have to say, I saw this movie on Tuesday night, and the clips sure aren’t very funny out of context. Maybe you have to see the whole thing at once.

6:32 - Judd: “So was it more fun to write this or Superbad?”

Evan: “Well, Superbad was a lot of fun, but there’s no explosions or anything in it…”

Judd: “Yeah, we’re calling this Superbad with a high body count.”

6:29 - Judd: “So who’s a better kisser? Amber or Danny McBride?”

Seth: “Well, James … I mean, he knows what I like, he’s got the same equipment. Sorry, but he has the homefield advantage.”

Clip time again.

6:27 - In the clip, Rogen, McBride, and Franco get into a huge fight.

Apatow sees himself on the huge video screen and says “Whoa… from this angle I do not look good… this is like, Brian Wilson, the later years.”

6:25 - Oh, here we go, clip #2, I guess they mean a COLLECTIVE ten minutes of footage.

Ripoff.

6:22 - Danny McBride, who practically steals this film, is talking about working with David. “It was great, sometimes you didn’t even have to memorize your lines!”

Seth: “You don’t even have to know how to read!”

Seth: “Well, you know you hear directors say things like “Do it with more feeling” or “do it faster!” and with David it’s like “Do it like you’re a robot!” or “do it like you’re taking a shit!,” which was a real popular one.”

6:20 - And it’s clip time once again, a Hall H tradition.

Okay, that wasn’t 10 minutes, dammit!

It was Seth and James smoking the “cross joint” which I swear I’ve seen online or in a trailer or something.”

6:17 - Judd: “So James, what did it feel like to don the wig and do your first big comic role?”

James starts talking, and girls everywhere scream and swoon.

Judd: “Fuck you! You didn’t do that when I started talking!”

James: “Well when I read the script, I thought they wanted me to play Seth’s character, but I really wanted to play the other role. So I was happy when they told me that’s what they wanted.”

6:15 - They’re bringing everyone out from the movie, co-writer Evan Goldberg, Amber Heard who plays Seth’s high school girlfriend in the film, director David Gordon Green, Danny McBride, Seth Rogen, and James Franco.”

They’re going to show 10 minutes of the movie; this is like a one dollar value if you break it down!

Seth: “It was a really hard sell for me and Evan to make a pot comedy… er, not really.”

Seth: “We thought a movie with guys smoking joints and shooting AK-47s? That’s the kind of movie I want to go see right now.”

6:12 - Okay, here it is, what everyone around us has been waiting on… Pineapple Express.

Here’s Judd Apatow, “Hello masses! My daughter is ten years old and she was watching that Underworld clip… and she’s like ‘I WANT TO SEE THAT.’ Great.”

Underworld: Rise of the Lycans:

6:10 - Holy crap. They are literally so stuck for material that Jeff Walker asks us “Hey, do you want to see the footage again?!” People around us literally shout “NO!”

Well, too bad, people around us. Your prayers have fallen on deaf ears. You’re going to have to watch it again. This time, about 100 times louder.

The clip is over, and people are streaming out the exits everywhere.

6:08 - Someone just praised Rhona for being one of the original Tomb Raider models, is that right?

According to Wikipedia she was. She also appeared as the second live action model for Lara Croft.”

6:07 - Everyone around us is asleep, reading, or staring at the ceiling, contemplating their lives.

6:00 - Q: “Will William and Marcus be in this movie?”

A: “Well, we talk about them. They won’t be actively part of the story, but they are the roots of it.”

People are starting to get bored, and new folks are filing in. We keep getting asked, “Has the Pineapple Express part started yet?!”

5:58 - Rhona Mitra is going on and on about how strong her character Celine is. She’s been talking for quite awhile now, and someone shouts “YOU’RE HOT!”

Rhona explains that she wears an extremely skimpy outfit in this movie, “I think you’ll all be satisfied… I know the crew were.”

5:55 - Bill Nighy is being praised for all of his work, including The Girl in the Cafe… nice! I sincerely suspect that hardly anyone in this massive hall has even seen that movie. If you haven’t, go out and rent it right now.”

The little kid from earlier today is back… seriously, did Comic-Con hire this guy? He wants to know if the movie is all story, or all action, or a balance of both.

Director Patrick Tatopoulos said “It’ll have a good, strong story, but you’ll also see armies of werewolves attacking.”

5:52 - According to Rhona Mitra, it’s a bit “Rome and Juliet-esque.”

Bill: “I’m a vampire, I’m a zombie, and I’m a squid. How many people do you know who can make that claim?”

BIll: “I was very lucky to be in the first film, which we made for a modest financial amount. It was a hit in America, and just look at us now.”

Kevin Grevioux has a voice that sounds like Barry White gargling glass, literally. It’s almost like pure evil.

5:49 - Rhona Mitra, Bill Nighy, and Kevin Grevioux take the stage to talk about the flick.

Kate Beckinsale is suspiciously absent, although she’s been a Comic-Con mainstay for the first two Underworld films and Whiteout, so maybe she’s earned a break.

5:48 - Now they’re showing us footage from Underworld, which is a prequel to the other films.

The footage isn’t quite done, the effects are extremely rough, and it looks a hell of a lot like… Underworld 1, and Underworld 2.

Seriously, I haven’t seen any of these Underworld flicks. Am I missing out?

Quarantine:

5:45 - Quarantine is based on the Spanish film Rec, as in the “Rec” that appears in the viewfinder when you use a video camera, and it actually looks fairly good. Think The Blair Witch Project, with zombies, in a 28 Days Later kind of fast-cut movie. Creepy.

5:41 - Here we go… Eddie Ibrahim from Comic-Con is back out front to introduce “One more great panel for you guys tonight!”

So here’s…. oh, Jeff Walker. Also from Comic-Con. Here’s the Quarantine trailer… the edgier version.