Is multi-medal-winning Olympic swimmer Michael Phelps the next action movie star? Or will he merely become a reality TV staple with the occasional cameo appearance in sports-related films? A recent Hollywood Reporter article weighed Phelps’ future celebrity options, and in response Entertainment Weekly asked its readers if Phelps could possibly be the next Brad Pitt (the magazine also looked at a couple Olympian-turned-actors in a recent slide show). However, while one comment recommended the swimmer for the role of Captain America (wouldn’t Namor or Aquaman make more sense?), it otherwise appears moviegoers are skeptical about Phelps’ chances in Hollywood.

Here at Spout, of course, we’re looking more forward to the Nastia Liukin-Shawn Johnson reform school flick (also discussed on this week’s podcast), but we certainly have room to anticipate the terrible low-budget action pics that Phelps is inevitably going to star in. It’s highly unlikely that he’d gain the stature of Pitt or the greatest athlete-turned-action hero, Arnold Schwarzenegger. So the question is, instead: does Phelps have what it takes to break through onto the list of worst athlete-turned-action heroes of all time? And will his worst fight scene look anything as bad as the following ten examples?

10. The Rock is computer generated, from The Mummy Returns
Whatever Phelps does, it wouldn’t be wise for him to enter movies via a computer generated version of himself. Or maybe it would be wise, looking at how much money The Rock is making as a movie star today. Either way, we can all agree this is one of the worst-looking fight scenes of all time. Sure, it’s reminiscent of Ray Harryhausen effects, but if that was intentional, director Stephen Sommers should have used stop-motion and actually treated it like an homage. I don’t think that was his intention, unfortunately.

9. He-Man vs. Skeletor, from Masters of the Universe
Yes, Skeletor, let this be your final battle, because my childhood just can’t take another beating such as it took with this movie. Dolph Lundgren, former karate champion, one-time U.S. Olympic Modern Pentathalon Team Leader, Fulbright Scholarship recipient, MIT dropout and holder of a master’s degree in chemical engineering, has certainly appeared in worse fight scenes in worse movies, but due to the level of disappointment this film brought to children all over the world, in principle it beats all the rest.

8. Vampire bar fight, from From Dusk Till Dawn
I’m not the only one who thinks this movie suddenly goes from great to terrible when the vampires come out. Former pro footballer Fred Williamson is certainly not the worst thing about the scene (that would be the gross topless vampires), but I have to admit he does look pretty stupid when he too is transformed. He looks like he belongs on that old ABC show Dinosaurs.

7. Tarzan vs. lion, from The New Adventures of Tarzan
I understand how serials worked, but I don’t forgive them for being cheats. Even if the ultimate fight between Olympic silver medalist Herman Brix and the lion is cool, I don’t like the way the cliffhanger initially makes it seem as though the lion breaks away and leaps at a still-tied up Tarzan. Everyone can disagree with me that the end justifies the means in entertainment, but I bitterly stand my ground on this one.

6. Pommel horse scene, from Gymkata
This one can easily be argued as being in fact the best fight scene ever to feature an athlete-turned-action hero, but in terms of logic and all seriousness, it’s certainly one of the most ridiculously idiotic action sequences of all time. Never mind the fact that there’s a pommel horse conveniently located for Olympic gymnast Kurt Thomas to show off his skills. The thing I have a problem with is that the bad guys keep thinking it’s a good idea to advance on him. Hey guys, just take a breather and take in the medal-worthy performance.

5. JCVD and Dennis Rodman vs. Mickey Rourke, from Double Team
Two athletes-turned-action heroes is not necessarily better than one, as is evident in this triple Razzie winner (Rodman was responsible for all three honors) costarring “The Muscles from Brussels” and the NBA’s “Dennis the Menace.” Of course, even without Rodman doing much, JCVD is looking pretty lame in this atrociously edited fight scene. The payoff with the mine and the tiger is pretty awesome, though, and if you want to only see that part (which occurs just after this YouTube clip ends), you can do what I did and check it out on Netflix’s Watch Now — just fast forward to about the 1hr. 25 min. mark.

4. Shaq turns his back, from Steel
Sorry if I’m ruining the end of the movie for you, but if you’ve never seen this awful comic book adaptation, you likely never will. Plus, you probably already guessed that Shaquille O’Neal takes care of at least one bad guy using some kind of skill related to his basketball talents. As for the main villain, Shaq doesn’t even have to do a thing — poor Judd Nelson manages to defeat himself in what can surely be read as an allegory for the actor’s decision to be in this movie. Steel’s climax leaves me to wonder about athletic parallels: are you really a winner if your opponent simply sabotages himself by shooting the ball into his own basket? Technically, maybe, but you wouldn’t be deemed a hero in your sport.

3. Yet another supermarket action scene, from Stone Cold

If Phelps is serious about wanting to be an action star (and I’m not saying he is), then he should start taking note of the way grocery stores are laid out, because one day he’ll have to maneuver through the obligatory supermarket sequence, easily arranging things so the bad guys fall into stacks of cans or boxes. The mullet and leather trench are optional, but if he combines them with those sweet swimming pants he’s been wearing in Beijing, Phelps will look even more badass than former NFL lineback Brian “The Boz” Bosworth in his movie debut.

2. Hulk Hogan literally scares the shit out of someone, from No Holds Barred
I’ve shared this clip before, but there’s just no denying it deserves to be on this list. While the Hulkster may have a ton of bad fight scenes on his action reel, none are as bad as the one ending with “dookie!”

1. Tonya Harding beats up a man, from Breakaway
I don’t think I even need to say anything about this one. Still, there’s one thing I’d like to point out: as bad as this movie looks, isn’t it possibly still the highlight of Harding’s life and career(s)?