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Obama Speech vs. Zohan Movie Night

Steven Boone
By Steven Boone posted 1 year ago
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EXT. HALFWAY HOUSE-NIGHT.
Dressed business casual, messenger bag bouncing at his side, STEVE runs from the 3 train subway station up to the house.

INT. HALFWAY HOUSE, 1ST FLOOR-NIGHT.
Out of breath, Steve enters a living room area crowded with bunk beds and several MEN standing and sitting around a 13-inch TV set. They are watching Don’t Mess with the Zohan. Onscreen, Zohan (Adam Sandler) and other Israeli men are playing hackysack with a cat.

The men in the room bust out laughing.

Steve sets down a newspaper with the headline OBAMA TO SPEAK…

STEVE
(laughs)
Oh, Zohan. Yeah, that shit is retarded.

Some of the men turn toward him and say, “What up, Steve?”

STEVE
What they watching downstairs?

BIG BISWAS shrugs his shoulders.

BIG BISWAS
Prolly a game…?

Steve glances at his watch: 9:48PM.

CUT TO:

INT. BASEMENT.
Steve comes down the stairs to find MR. OCTOBER, DIVA, and TOTAL LOSS sitting on the well-worn sofa. Behind them, SLIM sits on a weight bench. The big 30-inch TV set is showing commercials.

STEVE
Fellas, whatup?

The fellas grunt or mutter feeble responses.

STEVE
What y’all watching?

DIVA
Wrestling.

STEVE
Not gonna watch the speech?

DIVA
Speech?

STEVE
Obama.

DIVA
Obama’s speaking tonight?

STEVE
Yeah, at the convention.

DIVA
What convention?

STEVE
Any minute now…

DIVA
(laughs)
Now, you know better than to come down here and
ask if we’re watching something like that.

MR. OCTOBER
The BULL-shit.

STEVE
Yeah, but this is history. First black man to…

Steve trails off as the wrestling program comes back on and the men look lively at the screen.

DISSOLVE TO:

INT. HALFWAY HOUSE, 1ST FLOOR-NIGHT.
Steve returns to the room. Zohan is still playing.

BIG BISWAS
(to Steve)
What they watching down there?

STEVE
Wrestling.

BIG BISWAS
Told you. What you trying to see?

STEVE
The speech.

BIG BISWAS
What speech?

STEVE
Obama.

BIG BISWAS
Obama’s speaking tonight?

STEVE
Yeah, at the convention.

BIG BISWAS
What convention?

HEF
He won?

STEVE
Sorta. He got the nomination.
He’s making his big speech.

HEF
We don’t get cable up here.

Steve glances at his watch: 10:05PM.

STEVE
I know. Who’s got a radio?

BIG BISWAS
Check in the back.

CUT TO:

INT. BACK ROOM/LIVING ROOM-NIGHT.
Barack Obama’s VOICE [Production note: to be performed by a Malcolm X vocal impersonator] wafts in from somewhere, muffled but strong. From the doorway, Steve looks around and finds all but one bunk empty. On a top bunk, SALAAM lies with his back to the door and a small AM RADIO nestled under his cheek.

Behind Steve, the Zohan-watchers are visible in the living room, laughing at Adam Sandler’s hijinks.

OBAMA’S VOICE warbles some beautiful promises, stern admonitions, visions, dreams, nightmares, reminiscences, folk tales…

Steve leans on the doorway, craning his head to listen.

The sound of a DOOR opening and SLAMMING.

Steve turns to the living room. SANTANA, the floor captain, enters and approaches his bunk.

Steve lights up.

STEVE
Oh, shit!

He rushes past the Zohan party, which is breaking up as the credit roll, and goes to Santana.

STEVE
Yo, you got a radio!

SANTANA
How can you ask me that. You know I got music.

STEVE
I mean that gets radio stations, AM FM.

SANTANA
‘course.

STEVE
Turn that shit on. Obama’s speaking.

SANTANA
What? He won? What station?

STEVE
Any station. 1010 WINS, any station.

Santana goes to his bottom bunk and reaches past a clutter of prescription bottles, diabetes testing kit, blood pressure monitor and mountains of papers to turn on a BOOM BOX. The LOLLIPOP SONG blares from the speakers. He quickly turns the dial.

After a moment, OBAMA’S VOICE comes out of the speakers in crystal FM fidelity.

In the kitchen area, Big Biswas and Hef stop what they’re doing and listen.

Obama invites John McCain to debate on who’s better fit to lead the nation. He makes iron-hard pronouncements like “EIGHT IS ENOUGH” “DON’T TELL ME WE CAN’T…” and “WE ARE THE PARTY OF ROOSEVELT AND KENNEDY!”

The room falls silent. The men take seats on plastic crates, bunks, kitchen stools, etc.

DISSOLVE TO:

Much later. Steve’s watch reads 10:50PM. Obama is wrapping up his speech, voice trembling a bit. The stadium crowd roars.

Big Biswas nods approvingly at Steve.

BIG BISWAS
He made it through.

STEVE
Yeah.

HEF
They didn’t shoot his ass.

STEVE
Cool.

Radio commentators chime in.

And then—BLAAAAMMMM!!!!!!! EXPLOSIVE BURSTS.

Big Biswas jumps. Everybody in the room looks at everybody else.

HEF
-the fuck?

RADIO HOST
Yes, those are fireworks you are hearing,
as Obama and family join the Bidens…

Everybody in the room looks at everybody else.

FADE OUT.

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  • Jerry said

    Steve,

    Bang out the rest of the script and send it uptown or here out West.

    I’ll rep it!

    Jerry

  • Mike said

    Meh. I liked your last post from the halfway house, but this one seemed pretty obvious, and the ending was the weakest part.

  • MovieMan0283 said

    Steve, your posts are my favorite part of this site now (movie biz headlines get old after awhile, no matter what humorous spin is put on them). Keep up the good work - do you have another blog too?

    (As for this one being obvious, I assume you’re not Frey-ing us so “obvious” doesn’t seem like an appropriate adjective.)

  • Mike said

    I assume this isn’t a true piece, as it doesn’t feel very authentic, nor does he say anything about it other than that it’s a short film (note, not documentary - so it wouldn’t be Frey-ing) about our hero Steven Boone. The only thing I can get from Boone’s posts is that he used to work at a men’s shelter. So, yeah, I assume it’s made up.

    If I’m wrong, then the world truly is a lot worse off than I thought.

  • odienator said

    Boone, I’m glad I watched it on TV because I would have had the same reaction to those fireworks from the radio! I envisioned this piece in my head, and I don’t doubt it happened the way you stated. “It doesn’t feel authentic?” Does this mean Mike has lived in a halfway house and can testify to what goes on in it, and how people there sound when they talk? If so, it would be interesting to hear his authenticity argument fleshed out.

    The dialogue and reaction at the end felt real to me. I said the EXACT same thing Hef said after Obama was done: “Whew! They didn’t shoot his ass!” It speaks to the fear that most Folks won’t discuss in “polite” conversation: that somebody might treat Obama like the cops treated Queen Latifah at the end of Set it Off. We’ve certainly broached the subject before.

    I was just thinking: if he gets elected, they’re going to have to get one of those hamster balls, make it bulletproof and huge, and have him rolling around in it when he makes public appearances. Put the Presidential seal on it and shit. Hell, the Pope has the Popemobile…

  • SB said

    Hey fellas,

    No, no Frey, Glass or Blair hoaxery happening here. This one was just me not being particularly inspired this week and writing out my best recollection of Thursday night in screenplay format. (In the self-absorbed/aggrandizing Myspace/Facebook era, I wonder if ALL diary entries shouldn’t be in screenplay format.)

    Yes, I’ve been on both sides of the homelessness industry. I worked night security at two Westchester shelters and surfed NYC’s shelter system when I went homeless this Spring.

    But I disagree, Mike, that the cynicism some of my housemates express toward political pageants is an index of the world’s fuctupness. The piece I actually wanted to write but couldn’t get together was along the same lines: This convention, those Olympics, this summer blockbuster, that championship, this awards show– will we ever stop partying long enough to contemplate the REAL story? You won’t find it at scripted, corporate-underwritten events.

    That said, I am thrilled to see a black man on the road to the White House. History! This Fall is going to bring so much to light– beautiful and grotesque– about this here troubled nation.

  • Deshaun Burns said

    That’s a captivating text