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Pasadena, 1928. Single mom Angelina Jolie is a switchboard supervisor who glides around the telephone company on rollerskates. It’s adorable, but her signature smoky eyes and blood red lips mean she’s probably moonlighting as either a tramp or a clown. Scenes confirming one option or the other were, unfortunately, left on the cutting room floor.
The LAPD is corrupt –– so corrupt that the holiest man in town is John Malkovich. So when Angie’s son goes missing, they give her back a “fake boy,” and the evil detective (Jeffrey Donovan) can’t figure out if the ensuing scandal means he should have an Irish accent or not.
We drink every time Angelina hysterically proclaims, “He’s not my son!” We get very drunk, and this may be why we can’t figure out why Clint Eastwood made a cheap-looking Lifetime movie that eventually turns into an “And justice for all!” episode of SVU. Just when the drinking game is starting to get really out of control, there’s a twist so shocking that it’s punctuated by two inches of ash falling off a policeman’s cigarette … in slow motion.
This sobers us up pretty quick. “Really, Clint?” we say out loud, right in the middle of the screening. But no one can hear our cry, they’re so overwhelmed by the sound of Angelina’s constant tears, which just keep flowing, long after the stakes have vanished, because Eastwood can’t help but indefinitely extend the misery. So we shrug. “Oscars for all!” Now for another drink.
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We’ve had a bit of trouble getting this episode to go through the iTunes feed, so we hope this re-post will fix the problem. The original post, with episode description and embedded player, is here.
filmcouch-114
That about sums it up, but you forgot one key point:
Distressed mom’s uncanny ability to predict that It Happened One Night would win Best Picture Oscar over Cleopatra, The Gay Divorcee, Imitation of Life, etc.
Mr. Eastwood, you are no Frank Capra.
“Cleopatra? Overrated!”
Hmm… this review left me wanting more. Maybe The Changeling doesn’t deserve anymore ink, but what I want to know is this: is this movie really about Angelina Jolie gunning for another Oscar?
Now I’m thinking about Not Without My Daughter. I’m checking to see if it’s on Netflix…
And then there’s Angie’s hands, which she apparently borrowed from Jessica Tandy for the shoot.
It’s an insult to Jessica Tandy to implicate her in this.
LOL! Not her, just her hands.
I better wait to watch the film..this reivew sounds too biased.
This is actually a true story. I thought it was a great movie especially the lead actress performance . I almost forgot that it was Angelina.
I think you should be sober next time.
I don’t know if I would call this review biased but maybe just horribly written. Ok, I get that you didn’t like the film but why? Karina, I’ve read some of your earlier stuff and never have you been this sloppy.
This review sums up exactly what I assumed from the trailer. Angelina Jolie screaming “THEY TOOK MY SON” for two hours. Was the kid’s name Walt by any chance?
Reading your review — I just have to see this movie. Sounds fantastic! Will be first in line at theater when it comes out. You have convince me to see it!
Marlene, the kid’s name was Walter, actually. I can’t believe that connection never occurred to me. “THEY TOOK MY BOY!”
[...] negative reviews from the NYFF have been coming in from a few sources, namely Karina Longworth at Spout. She jokingly says of the film: “We drink every time Angelina hysterically proclaims, ‘He’s not my [...]
Totally brutal, Karina. I love it.
Really?
I don’t drink and I thought this review summed the film up quite nicely.
Although I was pleased to learn that my being 5′1 could be the result of a trauma I have since forgotten - I always knew I was secretly taller.
hilarious.
i don’t often get to say “you liked a clint eastwood movie even less than me” to, well, anyone. But i think it’s safe to say i liked it a little better.
a little.
p.s. thanks for that irish accent line. i kept wondering if i had imagined it and then it woudl return. wheeee
[...] have said she’s top of her game in this and others disagree. O’Neil thinks that this time, with subject matter and Clint, Angelina has her best shot [...]
[...] negative reviews from the NYFF have been coming in from a few sources, namely Karina Longworth at Spout. She jokingly says of the film: “We drink every time Angelina hysterically proclaims, [...]
[...] Longworth at Spout is even less impressed, and a lot more harsh: We drink every time Angelina hysterically proclaims, “He’s not my [...]
[...] the most negative review of all comes from Spout-blogger Karina Longworth, who at first wondered out loud whether or not she should even bother articulating why she hates [...]
Completely without redeeming qualities, huh?
Nice to completely disregard a lot of hard work by a lot of talented people.
Sad, really.
LOL! What is this fuss about all these negative reviews for the Changeling?? b/c this is not a review
Unworthy of you, Karen. I’m disappointed in you. Maybe you should lay off the alcohol for a while. Oh, well, even you can’t bat 1000 all the time. Kim Voynar got Changeling right.
Who’s Karen?
[...] This sobers us up pretty quick. “Really, Clint?” we say out loud, right in the middle of the screening. But no one can hear our cry, they’re so overwhelmed by the sound of Angelina’s constant tears, which just keep flowing, long after the stakes have vanished, because Eastwood can’t help but indefinitely extend the misery. So we shrug. “Oscars for all!” Now for another drink. A movie critic by Karina Longworth [...]
Karen is my pet name for you.
Bad job. She made the wrong choices building her character and instead of creating a silent storm within herself, all she did was POSE through most of the movie.
Her restraint was self-indulgent. Seems like Brad has been sharing his own acting tips with her…and she listened.
What a waste of my time AND it was a true story. Clint Eastwood sucked as director in this. Piece of crap!
Don’t know if “well said” is the appropriate phrase, but “you echo my feelings perfectly” works for me Karina.
The Changeling was one cynical, and patently absurd waste of my time. How did this one get such a cushy ride?
Wish I could have that time back…