The Spirit drove straight into Tanksville last weekend, earning only $6.5 million dollars. But before we can claim that we saw it coming and gloat over its still-warm corpse, it might just be a sign that old-school comic book / radio / serial heroes just can’t make it with today’s audiences. Why is it that Batman and Superman can rake in hundreds of millions of dollars, but heroes that are arguably just as interesting end up tanking at the box office?

Producers have tried to revive the nostalgic exploits of the cadre of “The” named heroes of yesteryear ranging from The Lone Ranger to The Shadow, but each time the box office take has been far less than the studios had hoped for, and the grand plans for a franchise of movies, action figure tie-ins, and a breakfast cereal get canceled. Below is a list of the high-profile attempts to revive old heroes that have fallen flat on their masked faces.

The Legend of the Lone Ranger

The Lone Ranger was first broadcast on radio airwaves in the early 1930s, eventually spanning more than 3,000 (!) episodes between the radio and television shows. However, in 1981 a feature film version tried to bring the hero back, and it wasn’t met with much enthusiasm. It wasn’t helped by the fact that the studio sought an injunction against Clayon Moore during filming that forced him to stop referring to himself as “The Lone Ranger,” and kept him from appearing in a cameo in the movie. It made only $12 million dollars at the box office, and when the WB tried to bring the hero back in 2003 with a two hour TV movie, that also tanked. Disney is working on a new version with Johnny Depp as Tonto, which could frankly go either way.

The Rocketeer

While Dave Stevens’ seminal Rocketeer comic books and graphic novels first appeared in the early 1980s, the character and storyline were meant as homage to pulp heroes from the 1930s and 40s. Disney spent $40 million dollars bringing the helmeted hero to the big screen, but it barely made that back at the box office, and thus Disney canceled plans for a franchise of films, and title hero Billy Campbell spiraled from feature film roles to parts in television shows. Dave Stevens unfortunately passed away earlier this year, but it would be great if someone could revisit this and do it justice. Especially with some decent effects, because some of the flying scenes in the first filmed version are just painfully bad.

The Shadow

Admittedly, this 1994 Alec Baldwin movie based on the old The Shadow radio serials is a guilty pleasure of mine. I own the DVD, and whenever I flip past it on cable, I usually end up watching it. It’s not a good movie by any means: Tim Curry applies way too much ham to his performance, they play fast and loose with The Shadow’s origin story, Penelope Ann Miller is miscast as the damsel in distress, and it just falls apart halfway through. Still, the shots of Baldwin in the billowing coat and fedora hint at what this could have been. It managed to pull in $32 million, but failed to make back its budget or to launch the multi-film legacy they’d hoped for. It also pushed then up-and-coming Highlander director Russell Mulcahy off the Hollywood bandwagon.

The Phantom

Whatever happened to Billy Zane? People always remember him as the jerk millionaire in Titanic, but they completely forget The Phantom, his starring pulp hero role from 1996. Zane played the titular masked hero, the Phantom, a mysterious figure who fights crime from a jungle sanctuary and passes down his mantle from generation to generation. This movie was advertised everywhere with giant purple posters that shouted, “SLAM EVIL!,” and you could get real steel Phantom rings with your Slurpee at 7-11. Despite that, the movie topped out at $17 million total and faded away. Recently it was announced that an $80 million dollar plus reboot / revamp is in the works. This time, most likely without Billy Zane.

The Mask of Zorro / The Legend of Zorro

The Mask of Zorro is one of those exceptions to the rule, but its sequel The Legend of Zorro falls squarely under it. Mask starred Antonio Banderas, Anthony Hopkins, Catherine Zeta-Jones, and pulled in over $250 million dollars worldwide. It paid homage to the original Zorro storyline by including Anthony Hopkins Don Diego de la Vega, who was the Zorro in the original pulp novels and the old Disney television series. Banderas portrays a new Zorro, Alejandro Murrieta, who takes up the mask after it is passed to him. The sequel, which inexplicably came seven years later, grossed $100 million dollars less and is considered to be far inferior… mostly because it skimps on action and treats the Zeta-Jones character as a fool.

The Green Hornet

The Green Hornet was actually inspired by The Lone Ranger, and he was even written as the Ranger’s grand-nephew. The Hornet and his faithful sidekick Kato fought crime with their tricked out Black Beauty hornetmobile for 16 years on the radio, but when the series came to television in 1966, it was canceled after only one season. Despite Bruce Lee playing Kato and a cameo appearance by the crimefighters on the popular Batman television series, The Green Hornet just couldn’t fly. Seth Rogen and his writing partner Evan Goldberg are working on an updated version for Sony, which should be in theaters in 2010. Rogen will play the title hero, and currently Stephen Chow is slated to play Kato.