When the recent announcement came that Dennis Quaid and Julianne Moore had been cast as Bill and Hillary Clinton, respectively, in The Special Relationship, Peter Morgan’s third film involving the Premiership of Tony Blair (played once again by Michael Sheen, who previously portrayed the former British Prime Minister in the Morgan-scripted films The Deal and The Queen), many of us began wondering if Monica Lewinsky would appear as a character, and if so, who would play her. Anne Thompson even provided an hilariously implicit visual aid for why Anne Hathaway would be great for the part.

Unfortunately, it’s been revealed that Lewinsky will only be included in the made-for-HBO film via archival footage. But that isn’t going to stop us from imagining who should have been cast in Morgan’s film had he decided to focus more directly on the Lewinsky scandal. Because we’d all much rather see that film, right? And although a low-budget depiction of the affair, titled The Blue Dress, is already in the works, it certainly won’t be as much fun as a high-profile picture featuring big stars as the infamous figures involved with the scandal.

So, we’ve cast the second-term Clinton movie we’d prefer be made. And as always we welcome you to suggest your own casting ideas — whether to substitute for those we’ve selected or to play characters we’ve forgotten — in the comments.

Megan Fox as Monica Lewinsky

Most people think Martine McCutcheon (Love Actually) would be best to play the White House intern. Another fine suggestion is Gennifer Goodwin (He’s Just Not That Into You). But we like Anne Thompson’s idea of having an even more attractive actress fill the role. Rather than Hathaway, though, we’re going with Megan Fox, and not just to annoy all the adolescent males out there. See, one of these days she’s going to want to prove herself to be a serious actress, not just a hot body available for blockbusters and horror flicks. In order to do that, she’s going to have to wear some prosthetic cellulite and makeup a la Charlize Theron in Monster. Funny thing is, though, if Fox were to apply the same fuglifying techniques Theron did for her Oscar-winning role, the young actress would actually closely resemble Lewinsky.

Kevin Spacey as Ken Starr

The resemblance may not be perfect, but Spacey is nevertheless perfect to play the controversial lawyer whose investigation into the Lewinsky scandal led to Clinton’s impeachment. While pretty much any film about the scandal would portray Starr as a bad guy, his kind of real-life villainy is the sort best played by Spacey, who has given us such no-good characters as Verbal Kint, John Doe, David Gale and Lester Burnham, as well as terrific versions of Dr. Evil and Lex Luthor.

Teri Garr as Linda Tripp

She’s older than Tripp is now, let alone ten years ago, and she’s suffered some health problems recently, but regardless Teri Garr would pull off the character and probably even make Tripp look better than she deserves to be portrayed. Of course, that is what these kinds of films are for; casting beautiful stars (sometimes with slight uglification makeup) as normal-looking people. And with that said, if Garr was for any reason unfit to play the part, her near-doppelganger Lisa Kudrow could probably take over easily.

Allie Grant as Chelsea Clinton

Two young actresses come to mind when thinking of Chelsea Clinton. One is Sarah Steele, who somewhat resembled the former First Daughter in the movie Spanglish (and an episode of Law & Order that TNT plays way too frequently). The other is Allie Grant, aka Huskaroos model Isabelle Hodes on the show Weeds. While Steele is now too old to play late 90s Chelsea, and Grant is still a bit too young, we choose the latter because she’s a more enjoyable actress and she’ll pass as the young Clinton adequately enough.

Tim Matheson as Sidney Blumenthal

Blumenthal, aide to Clinton and witness in the impeachment trial, is primarily included here because of how easily he’s cast. Though some of the others cast here aren’t dead ringers, sometimes you just have to go with the guy you first think of. And nobody can look at Blumenthal without immediately wanting to call him “Otter.”

Jeff Goldblum as Al Gore

There are two actors who could do Al Gore justice, and we decided on the one you’d hopefully find less laughable a choice. Steve Martin is the other actor, and in many ways he’d probably pull of the former Vice President more believably. As for Goldblum, it’s that photo above that clinched it for him, even if his signature voice and odd acting style might very well be all wrong for the part.

Patti LuPone as Madeleine Albright

Here’s another bad casting idea if you go by voice alone, as Patti LuPone’s is typically quite deep. But she’s a great actress and has great vocal range and she can certainly do the more-whiny voice of Albright if she tried. Anyway, at least she won’t require much prosthetics to achieve the Albright nose.

Tommy Lee Jones as Janet Reno

Some women are unfortunately best portrayed by men, and a number of these women were coincidentally involved with the Clinton Presidency. On Saturday Night Live, Reno was played rather hilariously by Will Ferrell (SNL also had men play Tripp and the First Daughter), but to keep it slightly less comical, we think Tommy Lee Jones is even more suited for the part. All he has to do is raise his voice up a little, as his Southern accent is already close enough to hers. Who doesn’t want to see Agent Kay in one of Reno’s trademark dresses?

Gerard Jugnot as Jacques Chirac

We’re not sure how prominently the former French president will figure into Morgan’s film, but he is reportedly going to be one of the actual characters in the movie, unlike most of the others included here. So, while he’s not as fun to cast, we felt he deserved to be in here. Gerard Jugnot, who starred in French films The Chorus and Paris 36, may be too short and chubby to faithfully portray the 6’2” Chirac, but most HBO viewers in U.S. aren’t going to care, so neither do we. Of course, most Americans don’t even care that we picked an actor with a similar hairline to Chirac. We could have just as much chosen Gerard Depardieau for the role.

John Travolta as George W. Bush

Peter Morgan has stated that his film won’t feature Dubya, because the writer-director doesn’t want to think about him enough to write him into the script, but Travolta is whom he should cast if he changes his mind. Because Dennis Quaid had already played a Bush-like president in American Dreamz, it makes sense to similarly cast Travolta as Bush, since he formerly played a Clinton-like president in Primary Colors. Also, thanks to Urban Cowboy, we know the actor looks good in a cowboy hat. And as long as that Dallas movie continues to be delayed, Travolta could practice playing a Texan by portraying the second President to have a special relationship with Tony Blair.