In the subversive new comedy Observe and Report, Seth Rogen plays one very angry mall cop. But despite what you’ve figured out from the trailer, the character is not set off by a pervert flasher, nor is his violent behavior necessarily triggered by his decision to stop taking his medication. No, he’s simply incensed by Hollywood’s depiction of mall cops. If the movies aren’t stereotyping them as idiot police rejects, like in this year’s other mall security guard movie, Paul Blart: Mall Cop, they’re replacing them with also-flawed, laser-shooting, head-exploding robots, as in Chopping Mall. When Rogen is seen bashing skateboarders’ skulls, he’s not merely fed up with teenage hooligans wrecking his own place of employment; he’s also obviously reacting to the scene in Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol where David Spade gets away from a real cop and a mob of irate shoppers after skating recklessly through a mall (there are also skateboarding villains in Paul Blart).

On top of all this, Rogen’s character is likely tired of all the destruction caused to malls in the movies. And after seeing damage caused by police cars, aliens, robots, zombies, time travelers, terrorists, and Arnold Schwarzenegger (multiple times), he’s just so hard on the offensive, because he feels he has to be ready for anything. Unfortunately, teens and perverts are all he’s got. So, to illustrate the kinds of threats he seems more pumped up to handle, we’ve selected the ten best action scenes set in a mall:

10. Car Chase Through the Dixie Square Mall in The Blues Brothers (1980)

We’re not sure of the best way to stop a speeding car piloted by two soulful brothers on a mission from God, but the cops tailing Jake and Elwood in The Blues Brothers were wrong to follow along in their own cars when the Bluesmobile crashed its way through a well-populated shopping mall. Not only do the police do as much damage to the place in their pursuit; they’re also endangering the lives of the people they should be protecting.

9. Arac Attack on Prosperity Mall in Eight Legged Freaks (2002)

Owing as much to Dawn of the Dead (included below) as it does to the ‘50s B-movies it pays homage to, this Joe Dante film wannabe climaxes with a giant-spider attack on a mall being used as a shelter for the townsfolk of Prosperity, Arizona. Though many of the elder citizens seem well armed with crossbows and pitchforks, only a few are a match for the toxic-waste-altered arachnids, including the sheriff, who uses a shotgun, a handgun and finally a chainsaw in his attempts to protect the mall and its inhabitants. For another guilty pleasure scene involving a strange creature attacking a mall, check out the Ghostbusters wannabe Evolution, in which David Duchovny,  Orlando Jones and Seann William Scott save a shoplifter from the clutches of a flying dinosaur-like monster.

8. Colin Farrell is a Girl’s Dream Guy Turned Nightmare in Intermission (2003)

This scene is quite short and less action-packed than the rest on this list, but it’s just as shocking and violent as any lengthy mall chase or fight sequence. Certainly to a mall cop, a young female getting punched in the face is a worse crime than any damage done to a storefront or display case. As you will see in Observe and Report, it’s a mall cop’s first priority to protect the cute mall employees, hopefully in order to bed them. So, the guys chasing after Colin Farrell in this scene aren’t necessarily after the money he’s stolen. They want to avenge that poor cashier. For another mall scene involving the violation of a young female (this time a shopper), see the part of Mallrats when Silent Bob accidentally busts through a dressing room wall.

7. Ken Foree Decides to Live and Escape in Dawn of the Dead (1978)

We apologize if this is a spoiler, but if you haven’t seen the original (and only, in our opinion) Dawn of the Dead, it’s your own fault. Besides, knowing the ending to a film like this won’t ruin it. Anyway, this final scene is such a triumphant moment that it’s spotlighted instead of the sequence with the biker gang, which we admit has some pretty awesome zombie massacring (not to mention the excitement of a three-pronged battle). It’s admirable enough that Ken Foree’s character stays behind to allow Gaylen Ross to escape to the helicopter. But when he abandons his suicide plans and makes his way through the zombies and joins her on the roof, he’s a true hero, even if his last-minute dash was sort of reckless.

6. Arnie is “One Gigantic Motherfucker” in Commando (1985)

There’s nothing like seeing Arnold Schwarzenegger throw off about eight mall cops attempting a circular apprehension. There’s also nothing like seeing Arnold Schwarzenegger swing across the atrium of the Sherman Oaks Galleria using a plastic balloon-like decoration that couldn’t possibly have held him. Yes, there are a lot of over-the-top moments in this action scene, but there’s no denying it’s entertaining, at least to those of us who aren’t employed as mall security. Aside from being easily slapped down by Arnie, the guards in this scene are the only people this movie’s bad guys seem able to shoot accurately. Speaking of which, that second baddie didn’t even have to get involved; he could have just walked out with his money and his life. But obviously there had to be at least one person who fell over the railing to his death, and it wouldn’t have been as cool for that person to be an innocent shopper.

5. Girls Just Want to Fire Guns in Night of the Comet (1984)

Sisters Regina (Catherine Mary Stewart) and Sam (Kelli Maroney, who also shows up in Chopping Mall) decide the best thing to do after a near-apocalypse is run around an empty mall while Cyndi Lauper sings over a shopping-spree montage. Unfortunately, the mall isn’t as abandoned as they think (the duo is basically the equivalent of the biker gang in Dawn of the Dead as far as those nihilistic mall cop wannabes are concerned), and the “Girls Just Want To Have Fun” is substituted for some cheesy ‘80s movie music and a lot of machine-gun noise. It’s sort of precious when Sam tries to fight uzis with women’s shoes, and it’s pretty cool whenever a mannequin’s head is blown off, but it’s the performance from Ivan E. Roth as the insane leader of the former stock boys that really makes this scene worth watching.

4. Arnie Returns to the Galleria in Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991)

Six years after causing that big scene from Commando, Arnold Schwarzenegger returns to the Sherman Oaks Galleria (for the interior anyway). But this time he takes his fight to the mall’s service corridor (initially anyway), where he finds John Connor (Edward Furlong) being pursued by the T-1000 (Robert Patrick). Unfortunately, though Arnie is a good guy this time, he’s not there to protect any of the civilian shoppers, or even that poor janitor (well, at least Arnie’s “get down” could have been enough of a warning to the guy). It’s a pretty simple scene, but it’s also a perfect first fight between the two very different machines.

3. Arnie Kicks Terrorist Ass in a Mall Restroom in True Lies (1994)

Let’s just finish up with the Arnold Schwarzenegger scenes already with this bathroom battle, for which Arnie abandons the Galleria for the Georgetown Park mall in Washington, D.C. Men’s room shootouts are a dime a dozen in action movies, but they’re almost always great. Otherwise, we wouldn’t still be seeing them in new action classics like Casino Royale and The Bourne Ultimatum. This scene, which may be the longest and most destructive of all the bathroom brawls in cinema, also may be Arnie’s only mall-set action scene where no innocents are killed. Of course, that poor guy in the stall may have nightmares (or at least constipation problems) for the rest of his life, but at least he somehow avoided machinegun fire.

2. Marty McFly Escapes from the Libyans in Back to the Future (1985)

Isn’t it nice that Hollywood can give us some variety even when it’s going with the old action setting standby of the shopping mall? Already we’ve seen scenes taken out of the stores and atrium and into corridors and bathrooms. And here we have an action sequence that keeps to the parking lot. There’s little damage done (hopefully not too many memories are ruined in the destruction of that Fotomat kiosk. Nobody seems to die (well, not in the end, anyway). Still, there’s plenty of action to excite moviegoers with a well-cut chase scene around the paved over farmland.

1. Jackie Chan Metaphorically Destroys Capitalism in Police Story (1985)

By itself, this climactic mall-set action scene is like the Hong Kong equivalent of the one in Commando, right up to the hero’s swinging through the atrium (shown three times!). Of course, it’s much, much longer and has much, much better choreography. In the context of the film, though, this final fight serves as a mirror to the film’s opening action sequence involving a car chase through a shanty town (sound familiar, Bad Boys II fans?). Both serve as metaphoric battles against the effects of colonialism and capitalism. Or, maybe they’re just awesome showcases for Jackie Chan’s amazing martial arts skills.