Did the father of 9-year-old Slumdog Millionaire actress Rubina Ali try to sell her for nearly $300,000? He denies it, while the British tabloids reporting on the story aren’t ever to be trusted. Because it’s so hard to determine who’s telling the truth in this latest Slumdog kids controversy, I’m just going to go ahead and blame Harvey Weinstein, since he’s likely responsible for starting all the inquiries into the child actors’ lives in the first place while Oscar-campaigning for his own Best Picture hopeful (remember, he didn’t deny it). I’m not alleging that he’s spitefully continuing the backlash because his film lost the top award (he’s surely happy enough with the two actress wins), as I’m better off accusing him of actually starting poverty in India. But he’s an oft-dependable scapegoat, so I’ll just keep the finger pointed in his direction. I am going to extend another finger out, though, to Born Into Brothels directors Zana Briski and Ross Kauffman for also being instrumental in encouraging the saving of specific poor Indian children who were lucky enough to become movie stars.

Anyway, the story may be a non-story, and it may be a waste of time trying to sort it out, but it sure made for some good jokes. The best from the blogs can be found after the jump:

• TMZ immediately compared the attempted child-selling to movie stars’ salary negotiations:
  

  The young child star’s asking price was roughly $295,000. According to the paper, the price started off much lower when he first began negotiating the deal. Maybe the father forgot to take DVD sales into account.

• Elizabeth Snead at The Envelope goes with one of two easy targets:
  

  Hey, Madonna? Want an Oscar child with a built-in Hollywood film resume?

  Might be a better bargain than Mercy.

• Neil Miller at Film School Rejects goes with the other one:
  

  Where’s Angelina Jolie when you need her? On a side note, does anyone else only hear the voice of Anil Kapoor (Slumdog’s game show host) every time they see the word “rupee” in print? I do.

• ARRAY at World of Wonder goes for the two-in-one:
  

  If he must sell the little girl, we suggest he get a message to either Madonna or Angelina Jolie, both of whom are always in the market to adopt.

• Dan Hopper at Best Week Ever is conflicted about the news:
  

  First off, that’s despicable, and second, anyone wanna go halfsies?

• Kyle Buchanan at Movieline gets one rimshot out of a joke about Tatum O’Neal and then goes for another big laugh:
  

  I mean, selling a kid is pretty bad anyway. But don’t sell a famous one! What happens when CAA comes calling, or Entertainment Tonight wants to do a “Where Are They Now: Slumdog Edition”? “Sorry, uh…Rubina’s…at school…at night…on a Saturday…” Good luck with that, buddy.

• Hamilton Nolan at Gawker points fingers at one man who has the most to gain here:
  

  Jesus, that is truly horrible. Add in the tidal wave of poverty porn the movie started, and Slumdog is actually a net loss for the human race! Unless you’re a News Corp. shareholder: Rubina Ali has now served Fox Searchlight in the film, and also Murdoch-owned News of the World for the original child sale story, and Murdoch’s Times UK and New York Post for follow-ups. Good work!

  Again: absolutely nothing good came out of this feel-good movie, unless you’re Rupert Murdoch.

• Todd at IDon’tLikeYouInThatWay.com is probably not kidding around:
  

  Not to sound preachy (which means I will be), but this girl’s father should be shot, brought back to life, set on fire then fed to lions. My heart may be a soulless void of hate and rage, but to reiterate, this girl is 9 and is being sold like a Happy Meal by her own father.

• Jeff Wells’ post at Hollywood Elsewhere isn’t jokey, but he does have an interesting film-related comparison to make:
  

  it’s been depicted in two films without any implication that only scumbags would do such a thing. In an early portion of  Nicholas Ray’s King of Kings a tradesman, needing a helper, offers to buy the 12 year-old Jesus of Nazareth. In Federico Fellini’s La Strada the story begins with Anthony Quinn ’s Zampano, also needing an assistant, buying Guilietta Messina ’s Gelsomina from her mother.

• Mark Graham at Vulture is also shockingly without jokes. But his write-up makes the most sense out of the whole thing. Here’s one interesting bit:
  

  This is hardly the first time that the News of the World has gone to nefarious lengths in an attempt to craft a story; you might recall their involvement in the infamous “Heath Ledger Doing Cocaine!” video (which didn’t actually show Ledger doing any cocaine) or their “Amy Winehouse Doing Cocaine!” video (which was about as grainy as your grandparents’ Super-8s). However, this time around, they decided to forgo the lucrative “celebrities doing cocaine” business and instead focus their efforts on the human-trafficking industry.