Who could possibly want to read/write/talk about movies on a day like this? It’s the day after the Lost Season 5 finale (aka “The Incident”), and that is the topic everyone’s searching, researching and discussing on the web this afternoon. So, we might as well join in the fun by devoting today’s list to that beloved yet frustrating TV show. Of course, we have to keep things at least relevant to the movies, this being a film blog and all, but it’s not really that difficult to do so. For a show that constantly references and pays tribute to movies, it might actually be harder to write about Lost without citing certain film titles.

Many fans of the series are no doubt seeking out and/or devising theories about what will transpire next, in Season 6. We say, try to get inside the movie-loving minds of Lost executive producers Carlton Cuse and Damon Lindelof. Surely whatever they’ve cooked up for the final season is inspired by one or more films. Stop your looking into the Bible, philosophy text books and the work of Flannery O’Connor. Instead, start your search for answers with the following ten theories, all based on movies.

Theory: Jacob and the Man in Black are Father and Son
Inspired by: The Empire Strikes Back

A lot of the Lost talk going on today has to do with the relationship between Jacob (Mark Pellegrino) and the “Man in Black” (Titus Welliver) seen in the opening scene (and wearing the John Locke suit throughout the rest of the episode, apparently). People are referring to the latter character as “Esau,” in reference to the twin brother of the Biblical Jacob. Yet that conclusion of identity is both too literal and too off the Lost path. This isn’t a show about fraternal relationships; it’s a show about paternal relationships. More specifically, it’s a show about shitty dads. And what movie, already referenced significantly on Lost this season, features the most famous shitty-father revelation ever? That’s right, The Empire Strikes Back. We haven’t decided which of the two is father and which is son, but given the evil nature of the “MIB,” we’re betting he’s the daddy. And Jacob’s near-death at the end of the finale is like Luke Skywalker’s defeat at the end of Empire. Sure, Pellegrino and Welliver are roughly the same age, so it would make sense for them to be siblings, but you can never really tell how old the folks on this show are, can you?

Theory: Jacob, the Man in Black and Richard Alpert are Immortals
Inspired by: Highlander

Are Jacob and his nemesis gods? Are they specific figures from the Bible? No, they’re obviously Immortals, like the characters in the Highlander movies. Nobody knows their origin (it’s not the planet Zeist, though), but they’ve been around for a very, very long time. And there can be only one, which is why the Man in Black wants to kill Jacob. It’s also why we can be certain that Jacob is not really dead, because he was not decapitated. But how does Richard Alpert (Nestor Carbonell) fit in? He claimed that Jacob made him ageless. Well, of course Cuse and Lindelof aren’t going to rip off Highlander completely, so they’ve changed a few things. For instance, the Immortals on Lost can render other humans, such as Alpert, immortal.

Theory: Jacob and the Man in Black are aliens
Inspired by: Stargate

Isn’t the favored twist in Hollywood always aliens? Well, this one seems obvious from light years away, thanks to all the Egyptian mythology referenced on the show. There’s the statue, which is apparently of Sobek (or is it Tawaret?), the hieroglyphics, the character names (Horace = Horus; Richard Alpert = Ra) and other nods to the ancient religion, which, according to the movie Stargate, has its origins in a distant desert planet. So what is the equivalent on Lost of the film’s transportational Stargate? Maybe it’s the frozen donkey wheel, which teleports people to the desert? Or maybe it has something to do with that pocket of energy? Interestingly enough, a hydrogen bomb figures into the plot of Stargate, too, and it’s threatened to be thrown into the Stargate — like how “Jughead” is thrown at the energy pocket.

Theory: All the Losties are now in the 1800s
Inspired by: Back to the Future Part III

When that bright flash of light ended the episode, the Losties trapped in 1977 were returned to the present time. Or, that’s what a number of the show’s fans are predicting today. But if anyone’s been paying close attention, they’ll know that Lost has taken some cues from the Back to the Future franchise this season. So, logically, by looking at that trilogy, we know that Lost must have its denouement in the 1800s, just as the BTTF series does with Part III. No, they’re not going to show up in the Wild West, but they will at least be in the same century. We already got a tease of the 19th century slave ship The Black Rock at the beginning of last night’s finale, so it’s not completely out of nowhere to think that part of Season 6 is set in that time. Maybe the Losties are even somehow teleported onto the ship.

Theory: All the Losties are now babies
Inspired by: The Muppets Take Manhattan

During the finale, after the second visit by Jacob to a young version of a Lost character, one of our friends started singing the theme song to Muppet Babies, only he changed the word “Muppets” to “Losties.” A silly joke, of course, but it got us thinking, nonetheless. Maybe it was all those E*Trade commercials that ran during the show. Or maybe it was our getting tired of the idea that the Losties wanted to change things so that they’d never crashed/met. We’d prefer they acted like Kermit and Miss Piggy in The Muppets Take Manhattan and wondered instead what it would have been like had they met even earlier. So, we’re guessing Cuse and Lindelof will go with the ironic and astonishing idea of having the last season be like the cartoon series of Muppet Babies. Ben is still a grown-up, though, and we can only see his legs.

Theory: One lucky Lostie will win the island
Inspired by: Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory

I can’t imagine that we were the only ones who likened Jacob’s appearance in the Losties’ flashbacks to Mr. Slugworth of Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory. The only thing more Slugworth-like would have been for Jacob to whisper in each character’s ear. The similarity had us predicting that Lost will end up having been a contest all along, with one winning Lostie being the Charlie Bucket of the island. Now, of course, like Charlie, there is not one character who has been perfectly good the whole time. But which one of our heroes has been the most selfless? Jack? Hurley? Rose? He or she will be the one to get the keys to the paradise in the series finale, courtesy of Jacob the candyman.

Theory: Everyone except for Hurley is dead
Inspired by: The Sixth Sense

Did anyone else find it significant how Jacob told Hurley that he’s “special?” Early on in the series’ history, fans’ theories that the whole cast was dead were squashed by Lost producers. But were these predictions only partially wrong? Did we simply need to alter our theory to allow for Hurley to be alive? Of course, way back then, we didn’t know he talked to dead people, but now it’s more apparent that he’s the only one still living, and everyone else is dead. Yes, everyone. Even the people not on the island.  They all died when the plane crashed, too, or something. It’s a stupid idea, we know, but so was The Sixth Sense.

Theory: The statue has the head of both a hippo and a crocodile/alligator
Inspired by: Fantasia

As long as we’re in the stupid idea section of the list, let’s take a minor stab at the theory of whom/what that statue is supposed to be. If it has a crocodile head, it’s probably Sobek. If it has a hippo head, it might be Tawaret. But maybe it’s a combination of the two (actually a combo of alligator and hippo). Remember that segment from Fantasia where the gators and hippos are dancing ballet together? It’s called “Dance of the Hours,” and let’s just assume that one of those sets of partners got it on afterward. A few months later, there’s a baby hippogator. And he’s unwanted because nobody can tell what kind of animal he is, so he’s shipped off in a boat and ends up on the Lost island, where he’s worshipped by the natives (who may or may not be just Jacob and his buddy in black). Okay, now that we’ve settled that insignificant detail, back to the serious theories…

Theory: John Locke’s mind is trapped in the fake John Locke body (primarily inhabited by the mind of the Man in Black), but eventually he will regain control of the body and get back to saving the island.
Inspired by: All of Me, Being John Malkovich and Star Trek

This is a little out there, but apparently a good number of Lost fans are hopeful that John Locke is still somewhat alive, having been the victim of a mind meld with the Man in Black, who otherwise has too many of Locke’s memories and characteristics. At the end of Season 6, a climactic battle will take place within Locke’s head (or the fake Locke’s head, or something), with Locke being the victor. Or, the Man in Black will at least rethink his evil ways due to some residue of Locke’s mind within his own. We’re not too sure, but it will be so confusing any way it happens that we’ll just have to accept it for how it’s presented.

Theory: Jacob and the Man in Black have been playing one long game
Inspired by: The Game, Trading Places and Truman Show

Whether or not Jacob and his buddy/nemesis are gods or not, they’ve at least taken on godlike roles in their manipulation of the other characters in the series. By the end of Season 6, many fans expect to find out that all the events of the show have merely been “moves” in some real-life version of backgammon, or chess, that the duo has been playing for centuries. Jacob’s “death” at the end of the Season 5 finale has been called a “checkmate” in these theories, while characters like Ben are being called “pawns.” Certainly this theory works without the movie connections, but since we’re of movie-obsessed minds, we immediately thought of the Duke brothers from Trading Places, as well as the godlike orchestrations of Christof in The Truman Show. Then there’s The Game, which makes us think that only one of the two, Jacob or the Man in Black, is completely aware/in control of what’s going on.