Despite bombing at the box office this past weekend with Jennifer’s Body, Oscar-winner Diablo Cody has a new gig to announce today. Of course, it’s not an original story like Jennifer’s Body, which probably did so poorly — in Hollywood’s eyes — for not being based on a familiar property or previously filmed material. Fortunately for Cody, she’s apparently always wanted to adapt the Sweet Valley High books, so both she and Universal are happy.

But are the fans? Personally, I’m not too familiar with the books, but if there’s anything I’d dread more than a beloved property being mined by Hollywood it’s a beloved property being adapted by Cody with her widely derided, trademark Diablo Codyspeak.

Between this, the promise of a future Archie movie and now the news that Universal’s also tackling a Barbie movie, it seems a big week so far for projects involving properties popular among young girls. I wouldn’t be surprised if Cody wants the Archie adaptation, too, especially if she’s familiar with its minor inspiration on Heathers, which is an obvious influence on her “clever” dialogue.

Of the three, though, I’d actually like to see her script the Barbie film, though it would then have to be an ironic and negative take on the doll brand (obviously a reference to the infamous “math is tough” catchphrase is very necessary) and also Todd Haynes would have to direct it.

Check out what the other film blogs are saying about Cody’s new venture after the jump:

• Nathan Rabin at A.V. Club thinks this sounds like a joke:
  

  In a development that only sounds like a throwaway gag from Family Guy, Oscar-winning scribe Diablo Cody will bring her raging Diablo Codyosity to writing and producing a big-screen version of the young person favorite Sweet Valley High.

• Monika Bartyzel at Cinematical shows some knowledge of the books and excitement for the film:
  

  If Diablo reigns her Cody style into the story — and doesn’t go The Vampire Diaries route changing almost every part of the story but the names — this is the perfect match that has my inner teen rejoicing. Hey, Diablo: Do Enid, Lila, Bruce, Caroline, et all proud, ‘kay? And if you could dump Todd Wilkins and give Elizabeth Nicholas Morrow, that’d be great too.

• Katey Rich at Cinema Blend is another excited fan:
  

  While the original series most definitely trended toward sappy and sentimental rather than tart and realistic, I can only assume that Cody will be putting her own modern twist on the material– I mean, otherwise it’ll basically be the live-action Baby-Sitter’s Club movie from the mid-90s. I can’t imagine a better screenwriter to handle the material, and giddily look forward to wrangling my high school friends together to experience a serious Sweet Valley flashback.

• Krystal Clark at ScreenCrave is on the other side of the Sweet Valley fanbase:
  

  This article is being written from a place of anger because another one of my childhood staples is being destroyed.[...]I don’t want the characters from Sweet Valley High to sound like they’re from Juno. No offense to the movie (I loved it), but Jennifer’s Body was horrible, so this could be a toss up between the two. If she’s going to adapt the story, the characters can’t all sound like each other. They can’t all be sarcastic a-holes, who have a smart comment to say about every little thing. The Sweet Valley universe doesn’t work that way.

• Sean at Film Junk foresees the tone of the Sweet Valley High script and the lack of online backlash to it:
  

  It isn’t very clear whether or not the movie will actually be aimed at younger viewers, or if it will be turned into a Clueless-style ironic teen comedy, but knowing Diablo Cody, I would bet on the latter. Why else would she be interested?

  I doubt many of Cody’s male detractors will have anything to say about this particular project, so she should be able to put it out there with relatively little blogger backlash.

• Devin Faraci at CHUD.com disagrees with that latter claim:
  

  Cody has long been a superfan of the series, so this is a match made in heaven. And while this film is obviously not being geared towards the grown men who read children’s superhero comic books, they’ll likely have a lot of snarky things to say about it.

• Amy Wilkinson at Hollywood Crush imagines a possible (and actually faithful) fantasy element for the adaptation:
  

  With “Juno,” “Jennifer’s Body,” and now “Sweet Valley High” on her resume, Diablo seems to have found a niche in high school-based movies. I expect her take on “Sweet Valley” to fall somewhere in between her two earlier films on the spectrum—witty, fun dialogue like in “Juno” with a bit of the mean-girl edge from “Jennifer’s Body.” Or she could go the “Twilight” route and take the ideas from the “SV” books in which the twins face off with a werewolf and Jessica has a romance with a vampire. Stranger things have happened.

• Bob Westal at Premium Hollywood sees Cody’s involvement being more male-friendly than a Sweet Valley High movie ought to be:
  

  Attaching Cody to this project strikes me as a canny move. Not only is she apparently a fan, but giving it to a writer with a known “edge” might broaden the appeal to cynics and, possibly, males. I’m far from Cody’s biggest fan, but I’m still a lot more likely to check out the movie than I would have been otherwise.

• Matt Goldberg at Collider is another male who is surprised to be interested:
  

  Never would I have imagined that I could be interested in an adaptation of the “Sweet Valley High” books.  I’ve never read one, no one expected me to read one, and I would be ridiculed had I read one.  But for Cody, the book series about two teenage sisters informed Cody’s formative years.  Now put Cody’s voice into one female character who is “conniving and materialistic” and another who is ” more practical when [her sister's] schemes went awry,” and you have a movie I want to see.  I want to see a “Sweet Valley High” movie.

  My God, Cody.  What have you done?

• S.T. VanAirsdale at Movieline takes note of how much literature is being dealt with here:
  

  The screenwriter is set up to adapt Francine Pascal’s mega-popular young-adult series at Universal, which is presently negotiating for rights to the 150-book collection. That’s right: 150 books, which amounts to no fewer than 16,230 new catchphrases that Cody is on the hook for by the time the franchise is through. Wish her luck!

• Mark at I Watch Stuff sarcastically offers his preference for which of the 150 books to adapt:
  

  Personally, I’m really hoping Cody bases her screenplay on Double Love. Or Dangerous Love.

  Or Racing Hearts, or Kidnapped!, or Head Over Heels, or Crash Landing!, or Too Much in Love, or Hostage!, or Lovestruck, or Bitter Rivals, or Jealous Lies, or The New Jessica, or Secret Admirer, or Rumors, or Hard Choices, or Family Secrets, or Slam Book Fever, or White Lies, or Lost at Sea, or Teacher Crush, or Boy Trouble, [...]

  Really, almost any of them.

• Kyle Buchanan at Movieline more genuinely claims to be a fan and offers some casting suggestions. Rather than mention them here — except to say yes to honorable mention “Sally Draper” as the “mean girl” — I present you with his confessional intro:
  

  Before I begin this post, in which I attempt to cast Diablo Cody’s Sweet Valley High, I have a confession to make: I, a man, maaaaay have read some of these books. Wait, I can explain! I have a twin sister, and she had all of them laying around when I was a kid. Also, I was a completely voracious reader back then, and I was like, “Hey, I’m a twin, and so are these characters! Perhaps I’ll read one of these on a Sunday afternoon now that I’ve finished Dostoevsky.” OK, also, I was gay. There’s that.

• Neil Miller at Film School Rejects also has some casting ideas:
  

  For my money, this production should be about the resurrection of careers. Cody needs some help after flopping around with Jennifer’s Body, and I don’t think The United States of Tara is going to cut it. Likewise, I think that perhaps Lindsey Lohan, or possibly even the Olsen Twins, should star as the Wakefield girls. I mean, why not. They were all popular back when these books were really popular, weren’t they?