I don’t watch television so I didn’t witness Sony’s “media roadblock” presentation of 2012 footage last night, but fortunately — like all TV-related things I want to see — the footage is available online. Actually, the online clip is longer: five whole minutes of John Cusack outrunning the collapse of California with a limousine. Yes, all of California. From what it looks like, Cusack and his estranged family are the only ones to survive. I kinda feel like I even died in the disaster along with the millions of West Coasters. That’s how insanely destructive this footage is.

Honestly, this sequence may be the most ridiculous and awesome footage from any film I’ve ever seen, and I have to thank Erik Davis of Cinematical for bringing it to my attention this morning with a Tweet claiming “California is going down” may be the movie quote of the year — though I think “Chaos reigns” already has that distinction. Sure, this footage resembles a lot of nightmares I’ve had, and after all the Pacific earthquakes this past week I’m even more worried that the actual Big One is approaching (and I don’t even live out there), but it’s just so damn ludicrous that I’ve already watched it a few times back to back. And I can’t wait to see it again in the theater. Is anyone not with me?

Check out other film blogger’s thoughts on the footage after the jump:

• Erik Davis at SciFi Squad addresses Sony’s marketing move before professing his love for Cusack’s Nic Cage impersonation with his new favorite movie quote:
  

  Apparently it was the largest media roadblock ever, and the projected audience was somewhere around 110 million. How many of those 110 million will actually show up to see this flick when it hits theaters on November 13th? That we do not know, but I think it’s safe to say that Sony succeeded in making audiences away of its existence.

• Sean at FIlm Junk thinks Sony’s stunt could have been a bad idea for two reasons:
  

  The clip itself is pretty insane, throwing a ridiculous amount of action and special effects at the screen. I still maintain that this movie looks awesome, but did the clip just spoil the best scene? Also, did this invasive marketing stunt win people over, or did it have the opposite effect and end up pissing them off?

• Harry Knowles at Ain’t It Cool News appropriates the real best movie quote of 2009 for this movie:
  

  The drive train would DIE on that car so quickly it wouldn’t be funny… but ya know what? Fuck that. Fuck logic. It is the biggest case of “FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK” I’ve seen in a very long time, done by a master of that goofy sensation! Just imagine this… on a giant screen. With an audience going insane with the film. I seriously hope this movie lives up to the destruction we’ve seen so far.

  Witness Chaos Reigns!!!

• Ross Miller at ScreenRant agrees that 2012 looks like silly fun:
  

  As you’ll see, the film looks COMPLETELY ridiculous and over-the-top, with some eye-rolling dialogue and generally cheesy moments (one in particular that you’ll know when you see it), but I think you’ll agree that’s often part of the fun with Emmerich’s movies.

• Krystal Clark at ScreenCrave also thinks this is going to be all kinds of stupid fun:
  

  I love the magic of movie making, because in the middle of a natural disaster we all know someone who’s a certified pilot, right? The amount of destruction shown in this five minute clip, should give you a gauge of how CGI heavy this movie will be. Some of the stuff is way over the top but then again that’s what makes it so fun. It’s a guilty pleasure.

• Charlie Jane Anders at io9 is laughing all the way to the theater for this one:
  

  When does disaster porn cross over and become slapstick? When Roland Emmerich finally sheds all his inhibitions and goes for sensory overload. [...] Is it terribly wrong that as soon as I start thinking of 2012 as a demented comedy, I get vastly more excited for it?

• Amelie Gillette at A.V. Club’s The Hater recognizes that apocalypse:
  

  According to the movie 2012—which is a documentary about how the world ends sent from the future (wait. what future?) to warn us all to stick close to John Cusack—the Apocalypse is going to be exactly like the Nothing in The Neverending Story, basically just a giant chasm that gradually eats the entire world for no reason. But instead of having the 12-year-old boy who is reading our story in some creepy attic yell out a new name for The Childlike Empress—which, duh, is the only way to stop the Nothing, besides bribery—John Cusack and Amanda Peet try to outrun the Apocalypse. In a limo. And then a tiny plane. Futile? If it’s a good Apocalypse, yes. Stupid? Well, they’re trying to run away from the Apocalypse, so, yes. Hilarious? Oh yes.

• Mark Lisanti at Movieline applauds Sony for inducing “a disaster boner [with] a punch in the face, not a whisper in the ear,” but wonders if non-West Coasters were as satisfied as he:
  

  If you weren’t quite as aroused as we were by those five minutes of non-stop destruction, we’ll allow that they may have been pandering a bit to those of us in L.A. The clip’s basically Angeleno wish-fulfillment, as no one who spends an unhealthy chunk of their life trapped in a car hasn’t fantasized about a jam-packed parking structure lurching sideways to belch out of a few hundred cars so we can get a decent spot, or hallucinated that they’re suddenly floating high above bumper-to-bumper traffic on the 405, watching as a violently displaced chunk of the city heaves upwards before sliding into the ocean, ending the lives of the thousands of rubbernecking assholes making them late for a morning meeting on the Fox lot. You know, just your standard, totally healthy coping mechanisms.

• Gabe at Videogum thinks this might be even more far-fetched than an infamous scene from The Day After Tomorrow, and he sees no reason to watch the rest of the movie now:
  

  Sure. I mean, if Jake Gyllenhaal can race some ice into a library and close the door and the ice is stuck outside so frustrated at having lost the race with Jake Gyllenhaal, then I suppose John Cusack can race a limo against the end of the world to the airport where he has rented a plane (it is important in the Apocalypse to have all your paperwork in order?) and race the end of the SKY. And NO SPOILERS, but they don’t all die for some reason? They should really all be dead. I suppose that would be the one reason to see the full movie. “Are they dead yet? Hmm, I wonder when it turns out that they all die.” Hopefully it’s in the sixth minute of this movie, because really no one should have to watch more than 5-6 minutes of this.

• Mike Sampson at JoBlo.com likes this sequence, yet he also thinks this is all the fun you need to get out of the movie:
  

  Now I’m not saying I will enjoy the movie, because the movie will be filled with all kinds of bullshit in between the shots of John Cusack outrunning an earthquake in his limo. But just the sheer spectacle of this is something to be seen. The movie? I’m guessing you might want to save your $10

• Alex Riviello at CHUD.com wishes Roland Emmerich still made them like he used to:
  

  Think what you will of Independence Day but they at least tried to put a human face to the disasters, with all the reaction shots of people getting pummeled by explosions. Part of the reason that The Day After Tomorrow was such a crap film was this distance from the events, this grand scope of entire cities getting flooded with nothing to make you care about it. It doesn’t seem as if anything has changed…. except perhaps the level of CGI work.

  Still, that’s some badass destruction.

• Craig Kennedy at Living in Cinema already has a lot of problems with the film:
  

  I don’t care for the jokey, sophomoric tone in this sequence. The video game action sequence is entertaining enough, but a limousine driving through spewing sewage? An Arnold impersonator? Come on.

  Besides that, even in a low res window on my computer, the scenes with the actors all look they’re sitting on a stage in front of a green screen…which they are, but shouldn’t it be more convincing these days?

  Also, I think John Cusack might have finally worn out the good will he earned from The Sure Thing up through High Fidelity.

  My inner 13-year-old will demand that I see this thing, but I’m not paying money for it.

• Vince Mancini at FilmDrunk bets Emmerich is loving this past week:
  

  I guarantee you right now, Roland Emmerich is watching tsunami footage and wearing a ball gag while his mistress stomps on his nuts and makes explosion sounds.

Now, here are the greatest five minutes of cinema ever: