If these Bloggery roundup posts were truly meant to represent the hottest film news of the day, they’d always be about Twilight, or at least its star, Robert Pattinson. As I’ve learned from regularly monitoring movie sites, there’s something relative to the franchise to report on at least once every 24 hours (today we somehow got double news, with Pattinson announcing he’s committed to a fourth installment). And it will continue to be this way for the next few years. So forgive me this one time for caving in, like others, to turn the spotlight on an advertisement for a movie I know little about and likely will not see.

At least I do have an appreciation for posters, as an artform. And at least a lot of the commentary coming from the blogs regarding this new The Twilight Saga: New Moon one-sheet is humorous. Otherwise, I wouldn’t bother with it. Everyone knows we’re going to see another hundred or so marketing images for the sequel before its November release (this wasn’t even the first), so why bother talking about just one? Here’s why: to point out that between this and the official teaser poster for Where the Wild Things Are, movie marketers are really into forestry shots with background light sources.

Okay, that wasn’t very funny (honestly, it wasn’t really supposed to be, anyway), so I’ll just leave it to the film bloggers with more wit to make us laugh at this heavily airbrushed poster. Check out the Twilight jokes after the jump:

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Footage of next summer’s video game adaptation Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time has popped up online, and with it has popped up some minor controversy. Apparently, viewers are speculating that Jake Gyllenhaal’s abdominal muscles, seen prominently in at least one shot, are not actually his own. Because this footage is from the set and not from some post-production house, it can’t be an airbrush job, but it might be a prosthetic plate covering up his own less-toned abs. The “conspiracy” theory originates with commenters at Towleroad and was brought to most people’s attention via Kyle Buchanan at Movieline. But is it worthy of discussion?

I just recently watched Chris Bell’s steroid documentary Bigger Stronger Faster*, so I’m concerned with the allegations, and whether or not they’re of importance. Shouldn’t we be glad that Gyllenhaal may not have needed to get juiced? Or, should we instead demand that the actor, if not so ripped, show off his own body, so as not to fool young men who might grow up thinking they need a body type that isn’t in fact real? We know, thanks to Bell’s film, that such image issues are as harmful to men as skinny model types are damaging to women, so perhaps this is indeed a necessary discussion.

Unfortunately, the ab conspiracy/controversy has only been brought up by a few so far, while other blogs are merely taking the bait and talking about how amazing Gyllenhaal looks. Check out parts of both discussions after the jump:

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While everyone in the world is dreading the remake of The Karate Kid, I have learned new information today that has me at least a little excited: the redo will retain the original title, despite the fact that it will be set in China and involve kung fu, not karate. Why is this exciting? Because it reminds me of my favorite bad movie, Bob Clark’s The Karate Dog, of course (check out this clip for martial arts insanity featuring a talking pooch and Oscar-winning actor Jon Voight). Despite the title of that atrocious family film, the canine protagonist was a master of kung fu.

Okay, so the news that the remake won’t actually be titled Kung Fu Kid isn’t really that cool. In fact, it’s annoying and potentially racist. But if Will Smith, as producer, can slip in some sort of reference to that other mistakenly titled movie, either by casting Voight or (please, please, please) giving Jackie Chan’s Mr. Miyagi Mr. Han a pet named Cho-Cho (with or without the voice of Chevy Chase), I might actually decide to see it. At least on YouTube, anyway, which is the only place I’ve watched scenes from Karate Dog.

In case you’re interested in anything pertaining to this Karate Kid remake — instead of seeking out more Karate Dog clips, that is — Clint Morris at Moviehole shares the exclusive synopsis details today. And reactions (i.e. complaints) from the blogosphere can be found after the jump:

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I know what brings traffic to movie blogs: Megan Fox wearing as little as possible. Case in point: Movie Gab debuted some paparazzi pics of Fox on the set of Jonah Hex a few weeks ago, but she was wearing a robe, and not surprisingly I heard nothing of the photos. Today the same site presents more images, this time of Fox in an Old West Prostitute costume (i.e. corset, stockings, boots, gloves) and the internerds explode with posts. Sure, it’s also yet another slow news day in terms of stuff that excites the collective film bloggery, but I’m sure these shots would still have shown up on every movie and gossip site on a much busier day. Why? Because Megan Fox pays our bills, of course.

Not that I understand the attraction. I don’t mean to insult Fox, who is indeed an attractive woman. But I don’t get what she’s got that at least a thousand other hot young actresses don’t have. Aside from the fact that she’s sold on sex, be it through cleavage-exposing publicity photos or that recent Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen footage of her stripping, what is it about her that makes her the Clara Bow of the late 2000’s? (Confession: Bow never did “It” for me either, so maybe I’m just out of touch). Anyway, I am noticing that these new Fox photos are garnering some criticism for how skinny her corset makes her look, and I do appreciate that not everyone is positively spellbound by her.

Anyway, check out what other bloggers are saying about the images after the jump. Meanwhile, I’ll be checking out that sexier wet, tattooed back shot of Sandra Bullock that Mark Graham has posted over at Vulture.

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Eric Kohn talked to the film student responsible for the above mashup. You may think you’re over the 1 +1 = LOL equation, but Miss Piggy as a skeptical caper widow is perfect casting.

Did the father of 9-year-old Slumdog Millionaire actress Rubina Ali try to sell her for nearly $300,000? He denies it, while the British tabloids reporting on the story aren’t ever to be trusted. Because it’s so hard to determine who’s telling the truth in this latest Slumdog kids controversy, I’m just going to go ahead and blame Harvey Weinstein, since he’s likely responsible for starting all the inquiries into the child actors’ lives in the first place while Oscar-campaigning for his own Best Picture hopeful (remember, he didn’t deny it). I’m not alleging that he’s spitefully continuing the backlash because his film lost the top award (he’s surely happy enough with the two actress wins), as I’m better off accusing him of actually starting poverty in India. But he’s an oft-dependable scapegoat, so I’ll just keep the finger pointed in his direction. I am going to extend another finger out, though, to Born Into Brothels directors Zana Briski and Ross Kauffman for also being instrumental in encouraging the saving of specific poor Indian children who were lucky enough to become movie stars.

Anyway, the story may be a non-story, and it may be a waste of time trying to sort it out, but it sure made for some good jokes. The best from the blogs can be found after the jump:
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I don’t smoke weed, but if I did, I’d spend today getting high and watching a marathon of movies that are (supposedly) better when you’re stoned. Why? Because it’s 4/20, the high holy day for marijuana fans. You’ve probably seen a billion of these lists, which recommend the same bunch of psychedelic classics beloved by stoners everywhere. So, instead of including such obvious choices as 2001: A Space Odyssey, Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory, and other familiar titles, I’ve picked some alternatives to the usual 4/20 favorites, because after awhile, the same old visuals just don’t do it for me — I mean, those sick, degenerate reefer addicts — anymore.
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It’s been a long time since I paid attention to any promotional materials related to a Harry Potter movie. After awhile, it had seemed the movies all look the same, at least in trailers, posters and other marketing tools. And since I stopped caring about both the books and the movies after Goblet of Fire (though Order of the Phoenix has admittedly been floating around the bottom of my Netflix queue since it was released to DVD), there really was no reason for me to bother with ads for whatever installment Warner Bros. is currently attempting to ram down my movie-blogging throat.

However, due to my job of keeping abreast of all that’s super-hot in the world of film (according to film blogs, at least), I was obligated to watch the latest trailer for this summer’s Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince. And I have to admit that it makes the new movie look incredibly epic. I feel like even if I had never seen a Harry Potter movie before, I’d still go see this, whether I went back and acquainted myself with the predecessors or not. Even more than exciting me with its percussion-heavy music and its promise of kissing scenes (aka “mild sensuality”), the trailer really impressed me with its turn-face on the usual trailer-pause technique, in which the cliche “It has begun” is replaced with “It’s over.”

After the jump, read what other bloggers are saying about this new spot:
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I don’t watch American Idol, not even when it features Quentin Tarantino or the singing of “movie songs.” And from what I can tell, I didn’t miss much last night when the show brought the filmmaker back on as a mentor while the finalists sang a terrible selection of soundtrack hits. Apparently Tarantino was wasted on the broadcast, and I don’t mean intoxicated; I mean he was pretty much useless to the way the show works. But here’s one thing: the AI episode got people on the film blogs talking, and that might give the show attention it doesn’t normally receive — not that it really needs any additional viewers or coverage, of course.

Oh well, here’s another thing: in connection with the show (though really not seen until today), we got a new clip from Inglourious Basterds featuring Mike Myers, which seems to be a joke — or a deterrent for some of us if it’s not a joke.

After the jump, the internerds weigh in on their opinion of the episode, the filmmaker and the clip:

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Marilyn Chambers was the first porn star I knew by name. My mom’s boyfriend had an autographed copy of “My Story,” her ‘erotobiography,’ which wasn’t shielded from my young eyes, and I recall being told that she lived in my neighborhood. The latter part was probably false (and/or remembered incorrectly), though she was apparently born in my hometown, so who knows?

In any event, I never did see any of her films (I swear!), not even her early non-porn titles, which include Herbert Ross’ The Owl and the Pussycat and David Cronenberg’s Rabid. According to her Wikipedia page, she might have pursued more of a mainstream acting career if Hollywood hadn’t been so nervous, and she had even recently appeared in some more non-pornographic films, such as 2008’s Solitaire. Now, on the day after her death, I’m wondering if she could have had another life in the movies had she not been convinced to star in Behind the Green Door.

I also wonder if today it’s any easier for a woman to find a balance between the two film industries. For instance, will it be possible for Sasha Grey to continue finding dramatic roles after starring in Steven Soderbergh’s The Girlfriend Experience?

Here are some quotes from the blogs that are paying respect — or at least some sort of notice — today:

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Thanks to the six-year-old site April Fool’s Day On The Web, there isn’t much need for me to link to film-related gags that can be found on the Internet today. And thanks to Cinematical’s annual roundup, you’ve probably already been clued into some of the best film foolery, including the very cool, very unfortunately fake Empire Strikes Back-referencing Tauntaun Sleeping Bag posted on ThinkGeek. Regardless, I’m going to sample some of the most creative of bloggery bamboozlement. Because there isn’t any other story that’s funnier or more interesting than the stuff that was made up for this special occasion.

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It’s been a long time since I watched a movie aired on commercial television. As a kid, however, I watched enough TV edits of films to have seen both Fast TImes at Ridgemont High and Sixteen Candles about a thousand times each before I knew that either film, in its original cut, features nudity. As far as language goes, though, any kid could figure out what curse words were really being mouthed by the actors instead of overdubbed words like “stuff,” “funsters” and “mothercrusher.”

But a young person watching Weird Science may have been seriously confused, because much of the censored dialogue wasn’t even inappropriate for television. So, when words like “nipples,” “fart” and “bang” are replaced with “pimples,” “puke” and “hit,” we kids of the ’80s just simply had to abandon TV edits forever. Therefore, I’ve never had the pleasure of hearing a coarse phrase from The Big Lebowski turned into the bizarre line “This is what happens when you find a stranger in the Alps!”

According to a list of “10 Worst Movie Edits For TV” at AskMen.com, the #1 offender is Die Hard’s infamous “Yippee-ki-yay, Mr. Falcon.” But I have to go with their #10, Weird Science, for the top spot, because it ruined me for future movie edits, and now I’m aware that some of them are actually quite enjoyable in a ridiculous sort of way. Check out a montage of Weird Science overdubs after the jump.

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Today’s clip isn’t exactly film-related, but it does tie into Kevin’s list from earlier about unsuccessful movie prophecies. Plus, its title somewhat references Back to the Future, and anything paying tribute to BTTF immediately sparks my interest (this tie-in may have even influenced my vote for president). The comedy short comes from FunnyorDie.com and stars Paul Scheer of Human Giant (and Bride Wars, just to make this more movie-related) in two roles. One role, really, but its divided into two parts, “Alex” and “Future Alex.” And the whole thing is a play on the idea of fashions of the future.

Anyway, the video made me think of the Oscars’ usual ignorance of science-fiction costumes, particularly of designs for films set in the future (meaning Star Wars‘ win in the category was apparently okay). Why wasn’t Jean-Paul Gaultier nominated for The Fifth Element? And what about Milena Canonero for A Clockwork Orange? Of course, even more disappointing than those snubs was the failure to nominate Joanna Johnston for Back to the Future Part II, a film so visionary in its futuristic fashions that fans campaigned to have Nike produce a pair of sneakers similar to those seen in the movie. Maybe we won’t have self-drying clothes in 6 years, but what a great concept and what a great execution of that idea in Marty McFly’s jacket. Much better work than anything seen in Driving Miss Daisy, that’s for sure.

If only we could go back in time and change the Academy’s mind.

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President Obama is magical. How else to explain how he found time in his busy pre-inauguration weekend to attend the Sundance Film Festival? He saw some films, attended some parties, pitched a high-concept movie idea and even met Steven Soderbergh, who admits he didn’t vote for the guy but wishes him luck. Filmmakers Jesse Epstein and Natalie Difford, of Chicken & Egg Pictures, managed to document our new commander-in-chief in Park City just before he was due in Washington for the swearing-in ceremony.

Okay, the real Barack Obama wasn’t there. Instead, the video short features an Obama action figure, one of the many popular products available last week in the great merchandization of Obama (one of these figures sits in my apartment, too, so I’m not judging). But the toy does at least represent the spirit of Obama, which was certainly present at Sundance throughout. That final moment is not staged; many festivalgoers abandoned screening rooms to see the inauguration. And no coverage of the fest was complete without reference to the concurrence of events.

Maybe one day the real Obama will find time to attend the festival. Sundance vet Al Gore can bring him.

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