What is worse about the now-infamous Watchmen sex scene (watch it here), the distracting soundtrack or the explosive metaphor at the climax? Even if intended to be funny, and regardless of its (more-subtle) appearance in the graphic novel, the fire blast as stand-in for ejaculation is so cliché that it has no place in a story that means to shatter conventions. Plus, sexual metaphor is a little unnecessary in a film that already has a lot of nudity and a distinct moment of impotence. Especially at the end of a scene that is quite gratuitous compared to the comic’s depiction, that blast is more a symbol of how incorrectly handled Watchmen is than of the orgasms it’s intended to represent.
Between that shot in Watchmen and our recent list of sexiest non-sex scenes, we have had bad sex-scene clichés on the brain. So, to relieve us from the tension of list-making blue balls, we’ve decided to release this short burst of a list for discussion. Think we should have included saxophone-heavy soundtracks or any other cliché you’ve come to notice, let us know in the comments.
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Due to the unsurprising popularity of our “10 Movies Sold on a Sex Scene” list a few weeks back, I’ve decided to unleash a sequel. However, catering to both Spoutblog’s traffic and the interests of ever-abundant sex-attracted internetters is only half my reason for this follow-up list. I was mainly motivated by the outcome of the release of Woody Allen’s Vicky Cristina Barcelona, a film that also initially inspired the first list. While Vicky was partly sold on the promise of a threesome between Scarlett Johansson, Javier Bardem and Penelope Cruz, it is now fortunately being celebrated, and it will likely be remembered, primarily for Cruz’s performance. Not for the threesome or for the lesbian kiss.
Other movies sold on a sex scene, though, are not typically so blessed with accolades. And even some that are recognized with high praise at time of release are often later forgotten as anything but fodder for MrSkin and other followers of onscreen sex and nudity. Obviously this means that most of my selections for the previous list may also qualify here, yet I’ve chosen to ignore some certainly fitting titles, including The Brown Bunny and 9 1/2 Weeks, so as not to repeat myself.
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There apparently are other reasons to see Woody Allen’s Vicky Cristina Barcelona besides the infamous lesbian kiss between Scarlett Johansson and Penélope Cruz or the threesome between these actresses and Javier Bardem. But as the first things most of us heard about the movie, the sex scenes are certainly a big sell (the ménage à trois is even being used in a promotional contest to win a “threesome” with ScarJo). Even if they’re reportedly underwhelming.
Promise of tantalizing footage has been an appeal for moviegoers likely since the dawn of cinema, with film pioneer Eadweard Muybridge’s The Human Figure in Motion - Descending Stairs and Turning Around featuring nudity as far back as the 1880s. And if you’ve seen any of the titles included in today’s list, chances are their respective sex scenes were at least part of what made you buy a ticket (or rent the video).
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