This has been quite the week for me to wish Nicolas Cage still made good movies. Besides crying over the fact that his latest sci-fi action thriller involving disaster prophesy was #1 at the box office despite being panned by critics, some of my unrelated experiences over the past seven days have coincidentally included the following: watching Wild at Heart for the first time; learning from locals that Moonstruck was partly shot in my neighborhood; discussing, at a party, not only the merits of The Rock, but also its qualifications for inclusion in the Criterion catalog. I’m now thinking I should stay home tonight and watch a marathon of Raising Arizona, Face/Off and Adaptation.

Or, maybe I can just lay back and think about how Disney’s The Sorcerer’s Apprentice is going to be Cage’s return to quality. I know, I know, those of you who didn’t stop reading at my profession of love for The Rock are now wondering if I’m crazy. “Certainly this movie is going to be terrible,” you’re saying to yourself (as you plan your derisive comment). And besides, Herzog’s Bad Lieutenant “remake” shall be his next good film. Well, maybe, but after seeing the new production photos from Apprentice circulating the net (originating at JustJared), I’m prophesizing that the Fantasia-inspired film will be the Moonstruck to Bad Lieutenant: Port of Call New Orleans‘ Raising Arizona, or the Face/Off to Lieutenant’s Con Air, or the Adaptation to Lieutenant’s Windtalkers. Perhaps I am soiling my reputation by confessing my overextending appreciation of Cage’s career, but you have to respect a guy who allows himself to look and be so ridiculous for his art.

The rest of the film blogosphere’s responses to the photos after the jump:

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Oh, the ever tricky omnibus film. As Lauren detailed in her review of Tokyo!, three very different auteurs were ushered off to the Japanese capital to offer their takes on the city which bursts from the seams with post fire-bomb post-modernity. I had the chance this week to catch up with two of the three, the long dormant Leo Carax and  the irrepressible Michel Gondry, to talk about the inspiration for their shorts, the specific difficulties of translations and what really motivated Michel to tackle Gabrielle Bell’s Cecil and Jordan in New York. …Read more

Sometimes I really wish David Bordwell’s blog permitted comments. Mostly it’s better that it doesn’t, but the man’s last post has made me want to discuss the art of movie titles for a whole week now. And it didn’t help that coinciding in time with Bordwell’s post was another one of those sidebars in Entertainment Weekly pointing out some new movies with misleading titles. Yes, Lakeview Terrace does sound like a period romance, as do many other badly titled films (Elizabethtown and Wicker Park come to mind). This weekend also sees two new movies employing the method of borrowing song titles, which are typically not appropriate (Ghost Town seems more like a horror western hybrid, while My Best Friend’s Girl actually fits its plot).

Well, fortunately for me (and hopefully you), I can bring the discussion over to SpoutBlog, though not quite as in depth as Bordwell. I’ll be more than happy to have a conversation in the comments section regarding the more general topic of movie titling, but for now I’ll kick things off with a list of what I find to be the most interesting movie titles of the past decade. It’s been a time when studios and filmmakers have been very loose with ill-fitting and overlong titles, as well as some that are too plainly literal (Snakes on a Plane), but the following selections have the benefit of featuring clever, well-chosen and more meaningful monikers.

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Andrew Sarris may be one of the most influential American film critics, but here’s a claim, located within his recent review of In Search of a Midnight Kiss, that may not hold up to some of his better-remembered theories: “Even when we confront 40-year-old virgins of either gender, movies refuse to show them compensating for the lack of a sexual partner. There is lasting shame involved in this spectacle.”

Not to ever, ever profess superiority over Sarris, but I’ve nonetheless compiled today’s list as a way of proving the man wrong. There are actually tons and tons of masturbation scenes found in non-porn movies, from the low brow to the high brow, from as indirect as the boy wizard playing with his wand under the covers in Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban to as direct as the non-simulated masturbation in Michael Winterbottom’s 9 Songs and John Cameron Mitchell’s Shortbus (which would probably feature my #1 pick, from the sound of it, if I ever bothered to see it).

The following 10 films are some of the most memorable masturbation scenes, excluding any movies that might be considered examples of, in Sarris’ words, “the fringe exploitation genres” (I’ve even gone so far as to leave out mainstream horror like The Exorcist, considering it’s crucifix masturbation is far from the self-pleasuring moments Sarris is clearly interested in). Oh, and I’ve attempted to chart these films artistically from lowbrow to high.

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If there’s one thing I relate to on the big screen, it’s the depiction of fraternal relationships. I’m the middle of three brothers (excluding the half-brother I only knew as a toddler and the former stepbrother I only knew briefly as an adult), and at different points in my life I’ve either hated them or considered them my best friends. So, yeah, I can’t wait to see Step Brothers, starring Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly as new siblings who go from being enemies to BFFs when forced to live together.

Choosing a handful of favorite movies about brotherhood is really tough. After all, tales of brothers go all the way back to almost the beginning, with the story of Cain and Abel. And a number of favorites can’t exactly be discussed, because the revelation of brothers, especially twin brothers, is often the surprise twist in films. So, before you start naming a thousand other films about brothers that I’ve forgotten (such as The Brothers McMullen and Legends of the Fall), keep in mind that I’ve actually left out a whole pile of brother films, and this is more of a personal favorites list.

1. Coupe de Ville – If there’s one movie that seemed to define my brothers and I growing up, it’s this underrated road movie about three estranged siblings (played by Patrick Dempsey, Arye Gross and Daniel Stern) delivering the titular automobile to their father (Alan Arkin). As kids, my brothers and I couldn’t have been any more different, just like the guys in the movie. For at least half a decade, until he seemed to disappear after he left the sitcom Ellen, Gross was like my cinematic alter ego, just because I felt a kinship with his middle-brother character in Coupe de Ville so much.
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Yesterday BoingBoing pointed to an article on The Psychologist Online by Huw Green that argues that David Lynch’s work, particularly Inland Empire, is an accurate depiction of what it’s like for someone with a psychotic illness to encounter reality.

I immediately thought of last week’s episode of FilmCouch, in which I used Lynch, a new documentary about the filmmaker, as a point of entry to talk about his recent work. I compared Mulholland Dr. and Inland Empire to recent films penned by Charlie Kaufman, namely Being John Malkovich, Adaptation, and Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. I argued that Lynch’s films are far more effective due to the fact he, unlike Kaufman, refuses to provide the viewer with the necessary tools to keep track of the breaks in narrative convention.

Green’s article points out nearly the same thing (without the comparison to Kaufman). Measuring Lynch’s effect on the viewer, Green says:

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