It’s another slow day in the film news world, so I’m going with the usual standby, complaining once again about another beloved bunch of classic characters being reincarnated as CG poop-eaters. I never like to use phrases like “is nothing sacred,” but I was awfully close to shouting the words after reading in The Hollywood Reporter that Paramount is planning another film out of Mrs. Frisby and the Rats of NIMH using a blend of live-action and animation (probably CG).

It’s not just the comparisons to popular CG-rodent movies like box office champs G-Force and Alvin and the Chipmunks that hurt me most. Nor was it the dreaded premonition that Fievel will be next. The worst thing about this is that it comes so soon after we lost Dom DeLuise, who provided the voice of Jeremy the crow in Don Bluth’s great adaptation The Secret of NIMH (as well as its direct-to-video sequel). And if that’s not enough, Bluth probably nearly died when he heard the news, too. As long as Hollywood is going after something of his, couldn’t it at least be one of the video games, instead? Either a Dragon’s Lair or Space Ace movie would be really cool. Even in CG!

Oh well. I guess we don’t have to watch, right? Let’s see what the rest of the film bloggers are saying about their childhoods being ruined after the jump:
…Read more

I had planned on taking the day off from the Bloggery today, but I was drawn in by the odd attention being paid to some new photos of Dakota Fanning on the set of the girl group biopic The Runaways. I guess it fits to end the week with another look at rock and roll pedophile bait, since I already devoted one day to the Chipettes. But it’s not like this is actually the first look at the 15-year-old former child star as singer Cherie Currie. It’s not even the most scandalous. Still, the fact that the media is focusing on Fanning and ignoring the full band shots (this is apparently the first look at all the Runaways actresses, if not the first look at Fanning) is either because people are obsessed with the maturation of a female child star or, due to the near-equal concentration on Kristen Stewart, they’re trying to get traffic from Twilight fans.

Anyway, I’m still waiting for the re-creation of this costume to really spark talk of “kiddie porn,” and I’m still wondering if we’ll end up with a “leaked” shot of the Fanning/Stewart lesbian kiss once that scene is shot. It would rival the Vicky Cristina Barcelona kiss as far as media attention goes. Otherwise, there’s not much reason to discuss these latest images, other than to hope that it makes teenyboppers curious about Iggy Pop.

…Read more

Yeah, it’s that kind of day where the teaser trailer for Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakquel is the most interesting thing to talk about. Well, honestly, it’s not the most interesting thing I’d like to talk about (though I realize I should have included the first movie in our “Creepiest Kids’ Movies” list), but not enough blogs are commenting on the latest racism evident in Disney’s upcoming 2D-animated film The Princess and the Frog (heck, hardly enough blogs are commenting on this). So instead of a discussion of racism in a kids’ movie, here’s a discussion of highly sexualized chipmunks in a kids’ movie.

Karina kind of foresaw the Chipette-debuting sequel “appealing to a young male audience’s latent lust for a trio of tarted-up little girl chipmunks” a year ago, and now this teaser is proof that the Alvin and the Chipmunks franchise has gone from being influenced by Pink Flamingos to being influenced by Porky’s (or some other horny teen comedy). But while we actually had to see shit-eating in the first film’s trailer, at least we didn’t have to see any chipmunk erections in this spot. Meanwhile, some concerned people are fearing that this movie will encourage more lookalike couples. Really? Are lookalike couples that bad? Or is the real concern that the movie somehow will inspire kids to dress in drag? Is the tagline “Munk Yourself” some kind of reference to a transsexual narcissism fetish?

Check out the film blogs’ reactions to the trailer after the jump:
…Read more

• Jay and Mark Duplass are abandoning the mumblecore movement for Hollywood. And not only will they work with a bigger budget, they’ve also acquired an Apatow-appropriate cast featuring John C. Reilly, Jonah Hill and Marisa Tomei. The untitled comedy (formerly called Safety Man) will have us believe that Tomei actually birthed Hill and still looks as good as she does.
• Let the Mamma Mia! copycats come forward: New Line has bought the rights to the Off-Broadway musical Rock of Ages, which features a ton of 1980s rock anthems from bands like Journey, Twisted Sister, Foreigner, REO Speedwagon, Styx and Mr. Big (see the full list of musical numbers here). Despite the title, though, there’s apparently no Def Leppard. Start growing your mullet now and we’ll see you on opening night for some heavy metal sing-a-long goodness.
• While Hollywood is abuzz with news of one female director being canned from a franchise, Fox 2000 has signed on another female director to take over a franchise. Of course, it’s only Betty Thomas and the movie she’s been hired for is Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakuel (yes, that’s the real title), so it’s still not that exciting a step for womankind.
• Brad Pitt will star in The Lost City of Z, a true story in which he’ll play Col. Percy Fawcett, an explorer who allegedly served as the inspiration for both Indiana Jones and Kent Allard (aka The Shadow). James Gray is directing.
• We still have to wait almost a year before seeing Benicio Del Toro as The Wolfman, since Universal pushed back the horror remake from April to November. Also, Ridley Scott’s Nottingham is delayed until 2010.

• Julie Taymor is directing a film adaptation of Shakespeare’s The Tempest, which will star plenty of Oscar-caliber performers, including Helen Mirren, Jeremy Irons, Djimon Hounsou and possibly Geoffrey Rush (Also: Russell Brand as the jester, Trinculo!). Taymor’s version should be interesting considering her postmodern take on the Bard’s Titus Andronicus for her film debut, and she’s already revealed one twist by casting Mirren in the lead, as a gender-reversed “Prospera”. But I bet it still won’t out-arthouse Peter Greenaway’s film version of the play.
• Forest Whitaker, who has already portrayed jazz saxaphonist Charlie Parker on the big screen, will play Louis Armstrong in a biopic obviously titled What a Wonderful World. Whitaker is also directing the film, though, so don’t expect this to be quite as Oscar-baited as it seems.
• Hollywood is going ahead with more than 40 major projects that will each lack strike protection despite the continued possibility of an actor walkout. According to Variety, the studios are indeed worried about the financial ramifications of a SAG strike, but they’re more concerned about not having enough tentpoles to release in 2010 and 2011. Because moviegoers will put up a fuss if they don’t get their Alvin and the Chipmunks 2 and remakes of RoboCop, Fame, Footloose, Clash of the Titans and A Nightmare on Elm Street.
• Oh, and we can now add Overture’s newly announced remake of George Romero’s The Crazies to the pile, too.
• What should we do about the financial crisis? Kill the poor — or eat them? — says a new sci-fi film titled Fortuna that’s heading into production next month. Likened to Soylent Green, the pic will be set in 2100 when the middle class is gone and the rich have created a deadly contest with which to eliminate poverty.

• After the disappointment of Righteous Kill, which was blatantly sold as a Scorsese wannabe, it’s great to hear that Robert De Niro will play another mobster for his old friend Marty. This one will be adapted from the book I Heard You Paint Houses, about a real contract killer named Frank “The Irishman” Sheeran. It would be especially cool if Scorsese could find a part for Pacino, as well as a small role for Tina Fey to get kicked to death in.
• Also reunited: Yogi and Boo-Boo. The cartoon bears will now be computer-generated for a live-action/CG hybrid described as along the lines of Alvin and the Chipmunks. “Hey Boo-Boo, is that a poop in that pic-a-nic basket?”
• Also reunited, as expected: Jack Black and Angelina Jolie will reprise their vocal roles for a 3-D Kung Fu Panda sequel titled Pandamonium.
• Despite the fact that most people seem to want him to disappear from movies forever, Hayden Christensen has just received a three-picture deal with Screen Gems. Well, maybe he’ll do better with projects he picks out himself?
• Bollywood productions have shut down just as India’s blockbuster season begins, due to a strike from 22 separate unions, including extras and camera operators. The strike is expected to cause a lot of hardship and subsequent melodramatic situations followed by an epic song-and-dance number that also serves as new contract negotiations.

The latest Eddie Murphy comedy, Meet Dave, debuted at a dismal 7th place this past weekend with only $5.3 million (on Monday it had already dropped down to #8), marking the worst wide-release opening for the actor since The Adventures of Pluto Nash. Can you spot the connection between these two movies? If you noted that they’re both sci-fi comedies, you’re smarter than the average movie exec, apparently. After comedy subgenre failures like Pluto Nash and Vampire in Brooklyn, you’d think producers would have known better than to cast the broad comedy star in something like Meet Dave. Actually, its distributor, Fox, may have started growing wise to the issue when it threw away the original title, Starship Dave.

A few writers have now addressed some of the reasons why Meet Dave failed, and it should be clear how to avoid such a bomb in the future. At the L.A. Times, Patrick Goldstein argues the sci-fi comedy case, though figured out the subgenre can sometimes go blockbuster, as the Men in Black movies show us. He also notes all the horrible crap that Fox has been putting out lately, displaying how shocking it is that this particular film did so much more poorly than garbage like Alvin and the Chipmunks and even What Happens in Vegas. Still, there seems to be some debate over whether or not Meet Dave suffered from actually being a sci-fi comedy or from Fox’s failure to own up to the fact and market it as such.

…Read more

The Christian Film & Television Commission handed out their annual awards this week to the films of 2007 that they felt best communicated “Biblical principles and positive family values.” Known colloquially (presumably, somebody knows about this colloquially) as the “Christian Oscars”, honors are given to twenty films spread across two lists: The 10 Best 2007 Movies for Families, and The 10 Best 2007 Movies for Mature Audiences. Alvin and the Chipmunks got the bronze medal slot on the family list, proving once again that I know way less about “biblical principles” than I thought I did. For your enjoyment, see above the Alvin trailer where one chipmunk appears to eat another’s excrement. Yay, family values!

Complaints about the Oscars include the following: the people who choose them are too old and out of touch; they don’t adequately honor comedy; they don’t give enough recognition to science fiction and fantasy movies; they fail to recognize that often the best animated film should also be nominated for best picture. Well, except for that last issue, the Kids Choice Awards, which announced their 2008 nominees today, should be then be a favorable alternative. Obviously they are chosen by people who are young and hip. They continue to acknowledge the worth of both comedy — Eddie Murphy received his eight and ninth nominations this year — and science fiction/fantasy (note to the Academy: Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End and Transformers are more than just special effects and other technical achievements!). If only Shrek the Third, which received four nominations, was in the race for best movie in addition to best animated movie then the Kids Choice Awards would definitely be the most perfect kudos fest ever.

Beginning on March 3, kids get to vote online for the winners. I know Karina will be stuffing the ballots for her favorite, Alvin and the Chipmunks, while I’ll be busily trying to get Ice Cube that win he deserved two years ago for Are We There Yet? (he’s nominated this year for the sequel, Are We Done Yet?). By the way, speaking of the best actor category, kids need to stop recognizing Johnny Depp so much. Don’t they realize he can’t be cool with them and with the old codgers in the Academy?

Uh-oh. From MTV’s Movie Blog:

Believe it or not, Alvin & the Chipmunks is about to cross the $200 million box-office mark, could become the most successful family film released in 2007, and is already the highest-grossing talking animal/live-action cartoon adaptation ever. All this can only mean one thing: Chipettes. “There has been a lot of talk about it,” revealed Janice Karman, one of the film’s producers. “A lot of people have been asking about the little girls.”

Of course, in times like this, we go to YouTube, where we quickly learn that “asking about the little girls” is a problematic concept indeed. Check out the comment exchange that sprung up (um, definitely no double entendre intended) under the above video:

…Read more

• Someone appears to be exploiting 9/11–but is it the marketers of Cloverfield, or Fox News? For Chris Thilk, the key takeaway from this video is that “Fox News is a half-rate news organization that’s willing to reference 9/11 at the drop of the hat, even if it’s for a story about why Taco Bell should never run another ad because someone bought a taco on that day.”
• The Consumerist describes the ad-supported PDF model that Kevin Kelly is using to release his new book, True Films 3.0: 200 Documentaries You Must See Before You Die
• Chunnel.  Prognosis Negative. Sack Lunch. Behold the full list of fake movies referenced on Seinfeld.
• LOL Plainview, courtesy of Glenn Kenny. Sort of the same concept, but more evil: Alvin Plainview, masterminded by David Poland.

What is the difference between a great comedy and a really funny movie? Is one easily classifiable and the other too subjective? It’s quite possible. Billy Wilder’s Some Like it Hot is considered by many academics and critics to be the best comedy film of all time. I won’t argue, as I’m not an expert on the craft of comedy, but despite the fact that I enjoy the film, it’s not one that makes me laugh much. Meanwhile I’ll fall on the floor laughing at parts of Cabin Boy, which I know is not a well-made movie, and which I don’t even especially like. So, the question is, how does one award comedy?

Every year during the awards season, people talk about how comedies and comedic performances are largely overlooked. I’ve already commented once on the subject, regarding this year’s Golden Globe nominations, but since then I’ve noticed more complaints about overlooked comedies, and in most instances there seems to be a confusion about what it really means to be a great comedy and what is just a funny movie.  Today, the IMDb linked to the Misfortune Cookie Blog and its honoring of “the year’s funniest in film.” The site references Knocked Up and Juno as “comedic achievements” that will go unrecognized (never mind that Juno is a Best Picture Oscar front-runner) yet also makes the point of naming Superbad the “Funniest Movie of the Year” with a disclaimer stating that it is not the “best movie, or best-written, or most likely to change your life.” So, what is the argument? Are you making a point of recognizing under-appreciated comedic genius, or are you just pointing out something that made YOU laugh.

…Read more

Oh my. The whole wide internet is now talking about David Cross’ blog post in defense of his decision to cash in on Alvin and the Chipmunks. Cross was apparently moved to write the post, at least in part, by “a snide comment” made by fellow comedian Patton Oswalt on his own blog. Oswalt, who acknowledges the irony that he’s somehow managed to maintain some modicum of credibility even after playing “the fat sidekick from King Of Queens” for something like three decades, had originally claimed that “[B]oth Brian Posehn and I were offered the part [in Alvin]. We both threw the script across the room in disgust. David Cross caught it.”

Now, in a letter ostensibly addressed to Cross, published by The A.V. Club, Oswalt says said snide comment was actually an inside joke which Cross just didn’t get. Oswalt says he ran into Cross after attending the premiere of Failure to Launch, in which Oswalt had “a tiny, three-line part in the movie, and I used it as a way to scam Paramount into flying me to Manhattan for a few days.” And then…

…Read more

Here is my follow-up to last month’s question of what mainstream movie will feature on the most top ten movie lists. And the winner is … Ratatouille. Oh wait, didn’t I disqualify that one for being too obvious? No? Well, I should have. Yes, according to Movie City News’ Big Ass Chart (aka Scorecard) of critics’ top tens, the Pixar movie made it on to 51 best-of lists, making it the best-grossing best movie of the year. But maybe it wasn’t the most mainstream, if you define mainstream as studio-produced fare. Under that qualification Zodiac was the best mainstream movie of 2007, having been made jointly by Warner Bros. and Paramount and showing up on 70 best-of lists. Other Warner successes include Michael Clayton, which featured on 54 lists, Sweeney Todd, which received 44 mentions, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, which showed up on one list, and Letters From Iwo Jima, which showed up a little late on one list.

As far as those mainstream movies I predicted would feature heavily, Knocked Up (34 lists) ended up defeating Superbad (25 lists) — meanwhile, the third Judd Apatow movie of the year, Walk Hard, managed to get on one critic’s list — though both were actually behind The Bourne Ultimatum (28 lists), when it came to “average vote” (average numerical placement on the list). If we’re going by mainstream appeal (and if Karina is correct in her view of the film), then Juno was the best mainstream comedy of the year with 63 lists. Hairspray (13 lists) beat out its crappy musical siblings Across the Universe (7 lists) and Enchanted (8 lists). In addition to showing up on Richard Corliss’ list, Beowulf managed 3 other mentions. And Transformers not only showed up on a top ten list, it featured on 3! Of course, it’s more surprising that Spider-Man 3 made it on 4 lists. The greatest thing to happen, of course, was Manohla Dargis listing The Kingdom as one of her favorites. Joining her is Don Payne. If I had made a top ten list (instead of this thing), the film could very well have beaten Transformers. Oh well, at least nobody put the shocking blockbuster Alvin and the Chipmunks on their list … yet.