The Christian Film & Television Commission handed out their annual awards this week to the films of 2007 that they felt best communicated “Biblical principles and positive family values.” Known colloquially (presumably, somebody knows about this colloquially) as the “Christian Oscars”, honors are given to twenty films spread across two lists: The 10 Best 2007 Movies for Families, and The 10 Best 2007 Movies for Mature Audiences. Alvin and the Chipmunks got the bronze medal slot on the family list, proving once again that I know way less about “biblical principles” than I thought I did. For your enjoyment, see above the Alvin trailer where one chipmunk appears to eat another’s excrement. Yay, family values!

Complaints about the Oscars include the following: the people who choose them are too old and out of touch; they don’t adequately honor comedy; they don’t give enough recognition to science fiction and fantasy movies; they fail to recognize that often the best animated film should also be nominated for best picture. Well, except for that last issue, the Kids Choice Awards, which announced their 2008 nominees today, should be then be a favorable alternative. Obviously they are chosen by people who are young and hip. They continue to acknowledge the worth of both comedy — Eddie Murphy received his eight and ninth nominations this year — and science fiction/fantasy (note to the Academy: Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End and Transformers are more than just special effects and other technical achievements!). If only Shrek the Third, which received four nominations, was in the race for best movie in addition to best animated movie then the Kids Choice Awards would definitely be the most perfect kudos fest ever.

Beginning on March 3, kids get to vote online for the winners. I know Karina will be stuffing the ballots for her favorite, Alvin and the Chipmunks, while I’ll be busily trying to get Ice Cube that win he deserved two years ago for Are We There Yet? (he’s nominated this year for the sequel, Are We Done Yet?). By the way, speaking of the best actor category, kids need to stop recognizing Johnny Depp so much. Don’t they realize he can’t be cool with them and with the old codgers in the Academy?

Uh-oh. From MTV’s Movie Blog:

Believe it or not, Alvin & the Chipmunks is about to cross the $200 million box-office mark, could become the most successful family film released in 2007, and is already the highest-grossing talking animal/live-action cartoon adaptation ever. All this can only mean one thing: Chipettes. “There has been a lot of talk about it,” revealed Janice Karman, one of the film’s producers. “A lot of people have been asking about the little girls.”

Of course, in times like this, we go to YouTube, where we quickly learn that “asking about the little girls” is a problematic concept indeed. Check out the comment exchange that sprung up (um, definitely no double entendre intended) under the above video:

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• Someone appears to be exploiting 9/11–but is it the marketers of Cloverfield, or Fox News? For Chris Thilk, the key takeaway from this video is that “Fox News is a half-rate news organization that’s willing to reference 9/11 at the drop of the hat, even if it’s for a story about why Taco Bell should never run another ad because someone bought a taco on that day.”
• The Consumerist describes the ad-supported PDF model that Kevin Kelly is using to release his new book, True Films 3.0: 200 Documentaries You Must See Before You Die
• Chunnel.  Prognosis Negative. Sack Lunch. Behold the full list of fake movies referenced on Seinfeld.
• LOL Plainview, courtesy of Glenn Kenny. Sort of the same concept, but more evil: Alvin Plainview, masterminded by David Poland.

What is the difference between a great comedy and a really funny movie? Is one easily classifiable and the other too subjective? It’s quite possible. Billy Wilder’s Some Like it Hot is considered by many academics and critics to be the best comedy film of all time. I won’t argue, as I’m not an expert on the craft of comedy, but despite the fact that I enjoy the film, it’s not one that makes me laugh much. Meanwhile I’ll fall on the floor laughing at parts of Cabin Boy, which I know is not a well-made movie, and which I don’t even especially like. So, the question is, how does one award comedy?

Every year during the awards season, people talk about how comedies and comedic performances are largely overlooked. I’ve already commented once on the subject, regarding this year’s Golden Globe nominations, but since then I’ve noticed more complaints about overlooked comedies, and in most instances there seems to be a confusion about what it really means to be a great comedy and what is just a funny movie.  Today, the IMDb linked to the Misfortune Cookie Blog and its honoring of “the year’s funniest in film.” The site references Knocked Up and Juno as “comedic achievements” that will go unrecognized (never mind that Juno is a Best Picture Oscar front-runner) yet also makes the point of naming Superbad the “Funniest Movie of the Year” with a disclaimer stating that it is not the “best movie, or best-written, or most likely to change your life.” So, what is the argument? Are you making a point of recognizing under-appreciated comedic genius, or are you just pointing out something that made YOU laugh.

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Oh my. The whole wide internet is now talking about David Cross’ blog post in defense of his decision to cash in on Alvin and the Chipmunks. Cross was apparently moved to write the post, at least in part, by “a snide comment” made by fellow comedian Patton Oswalt on his own blog. Oswalt, who acknowledges the irony that he’s somehow managed to maintain some modicum of credibility even after playing “the fat sidekick from King Of Queens” for something like three decades, had originally claimed that “[B]oth Brian Posehn and I were offered the part [in Alvin]. We both threw the script across the room in disgust. David Cross caught it.”

Now, in a letter ostensibly addressed to Cross, published by The A.V. Club, Oswalt says said snide comment was actually an inside joke which Cross just didn’t get. Oswalt says he ran into Cross after attending the premiere of Failure to Launch, in which Oswalt had “a tiny, three-line part in the movie, and I used it as a way to scam Paramount into flying me to Manhattan for a few days.” And then…

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Here is my follow-up to last month’s question of what mainstream movie will feature on the most top ten movie lists. And the winner is … Ratatouille. Oh wait, didn’t I disqualify that one for being too obvious? No? Well, I should have. Yes, according to Movie City News’ Big Ass Chart (aka Scorecard) of critics’ top tens, the Pixar movie made it on to 51 best-of lists, making it the best-grossing best movie of the year. But maybe it wasn’t the most mainstream, if you define mainstream as studio-produced fare. Under that qualification Zodiac was the best mainstream movie of 2007, having been made jointly by Warner Bros. and Paramount and showing up on 70 best-of lists. Other Warner successes include Michael Clayton, which featured on 54 lists, Sweeney Todd, which received 44 mentions, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, which showed up on one list, and Letters From Iwo Jima, which showed up a little late on one list.

As far as those mainstream movies I predicted would feature heavily, Knocked Up (34 lists) ended up defeating Superbad (25 lists) — meanwhile, the third Judd Apatow movie of the year, Walk Hard, managed to get on one critic’s list — though both were actually behind The Bourne Ultimatum (28 lists), when it came to “average vote” (average numerical placement on the list). If we’re going by mainstream appeal (and if Karina is correct in her view of the film), then Juno was the best mainstream comedy of the year with 63 lists. Hairspray (13 lists) beat out its crappy musical siblings Across the Universe (7 lists) and Enchanted (8 lists). In addition to showing up on Richard Corliss’ list, Beowulf managed 3 other mentions. And Transformers not only showed up on a top ten list, it featured on 3! Of course, it’s more surprising that Spider-Man 3 made it on 4 lists. The greatest thing to happen, of course, was Manohla Dargis listing The Kingdom as one of her favorites. Joining her is Don Payne. If I had made a top ten list (instead of this thing), the film could very well have beaten Transformers. Oh well, at least nobody put the shocking blockbuster Alvin and the Chipmunks on their list … yet.

David Cross has written a long blog post justifying his appearance in Alvin and the Chipmunks. He lists four “mitigating factors” (and #4 has a sub-clause, so it’s really five), but it all pretty much comes down to what you’d expect: “indie hipster cred” doesn’ pay for upstate cottages, and he needed the job. An excerpt:

I like to work. I really do…Up to working on Alvin I had not worked in six (SIX!) months. That is an eternity if you’re an actor. Think about not working for two months with no hope of anything on the horizon. Now triple that. It was the longest period without work since after Ben Stiller got cancelled (the show, not the man) and I was going nuts. I was depressed and difficult to live with. I was VERY happy to have the work. Again, no regrets.

Cross basically has to do this (the blog post, not the work) because his fan base consists in large part of post-punk consumerists––ie: people who themselves enjoy the spoils of consumer culture, but persist on holding their cultural icons to an impossible high standard of “integrity” and commercial purity. This is why we don’t see similar posts from, say Helen Mirren, justifying her choice to follow up her Oscar-winning work in The Queen by playing sexy academic in National Treasure: Book of Secrets. Which is a shame, because I’d love to see her follow in David Cross’ footsteps, and use a New York Times review as evidence for why her fans could/should “suck it.”

• Variety looks into reports from the British press that Steven Spielberg is gearing up to make a movie about the Chicago Seven, starring Sacha Baron Cohen as Abbie Hoffman. Spielberg apparently won’t confirm nor deny it; Aaron Sorkin signed a deal to write a script six months ago, but there’s no progress to report on that. Apparently.
• Not much has changed in the box office picture since Monday––National Treasure and Alvin and the Chipmunks are still dominant––but business was up seven percent over the comparative week last year, and that’s worth remarking on. Apparently.
• Chinese censors have issued an order asking producers to refrain from depicting “hardcore activities, rape, whoring, obscene sex exposing human genitals or sex freaks.” Not only would films involving such content be banned from receiving national awards, but their makers could “face a total ban from the biz for five years.”