In the 76 years since Hedy Lamarr came on the scene with her groundbreaking orgasm in the Czech film Ecstasy, we’ve seen countless onscreen simulations of sexual climax, few of which have been more awful and embarrassing than the one depicted in the new romantic comedy The Ugly Truth. The scene (watch it here) features Katherine Heigl’s character having an awkwardly pleasurable dinner meeting thanks to some vibrating panties and an unknowing kid in possession of the undergarment’s remote control.

Obviously it evokes all previous dining-scene-set orgasms (there have been plenty), but the bit in The Ugly Truth probably wouldn’t seem fresh or funny even if there were no precedent for scenes of its kind. Though indirect, the fact that it’s a preteen boy causing the orgasm makes the moment a little disturbing, as well. We’re sure that some moviegoers will find humor in it, but we came away from the scene feeling displeasure proportionate to the ecstatic pleasure experienced by the character.

After the jump, we take a look at ten other orgasms in movies that make us completely uncomfortable.

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This has been a good week for remakes (or a bad week, depending on how you feel about them), but while announced redos of our beloved mystery comedies, sci-fi actioners and neverending fantasy flicks are shocking enough, there’s not a blogger in the world who saw a new “contemporized” version of Damn Yankees coming. Let alone one starring Jim Carrey and Jake Gyllenhaal as Mr. Applegate (aka Satan) and soul-selling baseballer Joe Hardy, respectively.

Yet Hugh Jackman and the rest of the all-singing-all-dancing stars of Sunday’s Oscars telecast did tell us that the musical is back, so maybe we should be making bets on what classic songfest gets reworked next (I’m putting money on West Side Story). This isn’t even the first musical remake we’ll be seeing in the next few years. New films of My Fair Lady, Carousel, Bye Bye Birdie and Jesus Christ Superstar are apparently already on their way to theaters. Anyhoo, let’s see how the ol’ blogosphere reacted to the Damn Yankees news today:

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• At least three SpoutBlog commenters will be happy to learn that Notorious screenwriter Cheo Hodari Coker is next adapting Bill Adler’s book on Run DMC, Tougher Than Leather. Two weeks ago, when I responded to the Biggie Smalls biopic with a list of 5 Dead Rappers Who Need a Biopic, I excluded Run DMC’s Jam Master Jay on account he was a DJ, not a rapper. But SpoutBlog readers nevertheless pointed out my error and suggested he and his group get a biopic anyway.
• Another screenwriter goes from one bio to another: A Mighty Heart scribe John Orloff is next scripting the Ian Fleming film Fleming.
• Two of this year’s Oscar nominees are teaming up for a movie that certainly won’t garner them future Academy attention: Slumdog Millionaire scribe Simon Beaufoy will rewrite the existing draft of the Amy Adams vehicle Leap Day, a lame-sounding romantic comedy that should appropriately only play in theaters on February 29, 2012 and then disappear for at least four years.
• Who knew Bicycle Thieves screenwriter Suso D’Amico is still alive? The 94-year-old Oscar-nominee will receive the WGA’s inaugural Jean Renoir Award next month and will be celebrated at the WGA Awards, held February 7. Thank goodness she can finally belong to a club that would honor Diablo Cody before recognizing one of the greatest female screenwriters of all time.
• Twenty years late, Ron Howard’s Parenthood is being adapted into an hour-long TV series for NBC. The network previously aired a short-lived TV version of the film in 1990 (it starred a young Leonardo DiCaprio in the young Joaquin Phoenix role), but this new show will have more time to focus on parenting challenges in “this post-Facebook, post-iPod world.”
• If there are any big Chronicles of Narnia fans left out there, you’re going to get your third movie after all.

The Golden Globes have been handed out, and the last of Oscar ballots are to be postmarked by today. So, that’s it, the nominations for the 81st Academy Awards are being figured out as we speak, and campaigning is over until the official contenders are announced on January 22. Hopefully a few Academy members took notice of our unlikely last-minute suggestions, but it’s more probable that we’ll be looking at an unsurprising crop of films represented in the major eight categories. As you’ll see after the jump, we predict that two heavily-buzzed supporting performances will be snubbed. Of course you’re likely to disagree with these foreseen omissions. In fact, we welcome all you readers to make your own predictions in the comments section — what you think will be nominated, not what you want nominated. And on Monday, January 19, SpoutBlog will feature a post highlighting the best of these comments and predictions.

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• Ben Stiller is replacing Mark Ruffalo as the male lead in Noah Baumbach’s comedy-drama Greenburg, which has also just lost female lead Amy Adams. Between this and the news that Stiller’s directing The Trial of the Chicago 7, it appears he’s headed for a more serious course. If so, he should try and get that Zoolander sequel made before he becomes the next Tom Hanks. Joking aside, though, this could be good for those of us who prefer his performances in Permanent Midnight and Your Friends and Neighbors.
• Hollywood is making yet another apocalyptic alien invasion movie, yet the latest, a comic book adaptation called Atlantis Rising, involves a threat from beneath the ocean. Obviously, it’s labeled a cross between two James Cameron films, Aliens and The Abyss.
• Oliver Stone’s latest documentary about a controversial world leader will focus on Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez, who he’s been filming for six months. There’s also rumor that he’ll follow that up with a doc on Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.
• Speaking of Stone, for those who wished Will Ferrell had played the lead in W., HBO is airing a live telecast of Ferrell’s upcoming Broadway show You’re Welcome America. A Final Night With George Bush. The date of the telecast is still unrevealed, but it’s likely to be in March.
• Oscar ratings in France should be huge this year, because Jerry Lewis has been named to receive the Jean Hersholt Humanitarian Award at the Academy Awards.

• Yes. Sci-Fi Footloose meets You Got Served! Exclamation point. Actually, Chris Stokes’ Boogie Town probably won’t be as good as it sounds, but it is set in a ludicrous near-future New York City where dancing is illegal. So, kids start an underground “battle dancing” scene. Obviously, it’s also being labeled a “modern West Side Story for the hip-hop generation,” and it’s set in 2015, so hopefully there will be hoverboards. Then it would actually be better than it sounds. Anyway, Vivendi will release the film next summer.
• Another music-genre sci-fi/fantasy: Stephen Edmond’s Emo Boy comic book is being turned into a movie, which he’ll script. The property is described as “being in the tone of Napoleon Dynamite, Harold and Maude and Zoolander,” which is funny, because none of those movies are similar in tone at all.
• Hot off The House Bunny (and let’s pretend also Smiley Face), Anna Faris is set to star in two new comedy projects, one of which she co-pitched with Bunny writers Karen McCullah Lutz and Kirsten Smith. The untitled movie involves the Golden Age Hollywood plot of husband-seeking sisters. The other project, called 20 Times a Lady, is also about finding Mr. Right, though also concerns the non-Golden Age idea of “a person’s sexual quota.”
• Another hot romantic comedienne, Amy Adams, will produce and star in an adaptation of The Ten Best Days of My Life, which treads in the same kind of afterlife territory as It’s a Wonderful Life and Defending Your Life.
• The Dark Knight re-release has been slated for January 23rd, one day after the anniversary of Heath Ledger’s death, which is unfortunate for the celebrity death cult. It’s also one day after the Oscar nominations are announced, so it could be advertised as a “Best Picture Nominee.”

• Not that adults can’t already appreciate Muppet movies enough as they are, but The Jim Henson Co. has a new film in the works that will primarily be for grown-ups. Described as being a little Avenue Q mixed with a little L.A. Confidential and Pulp Fiction, the movie will be set in a world where humans and puppets co-exist (umm, like any other Muppet movie, uh huh), in which the latter are considered second-class citizens (still kind of like any other Muppet movie) and become victim to a series of murders (ok, there’s the adult part). Titled The Happyland Murders, this seemingly Muppets version of Who Framed Roger Rabbit will be directed by Brian Henson (The Muppet Christmas Carol).
• This should be the year to debut hot political films, not announce them, but Fox Searchlight has reportedly acquired the rights to Allen Raymond’s memoir How to Rig an Election: Confessions of a Republican Operative, which has been adapted and will be directed by Billy Ray (Shattered Glass).
• The boys of Peter Billingsley’s Couples Retreat have now been assigned wives: Jason Bateman gets Kristen Bell; Vince Vaughn gets Malin Ackerman; and Jon Favreau somehow gets Kristin Davis. The plot has all these pairings headed to a tropical island in order to save their marriages. There should really be an official genre called Romantic Fantasy Comedy for this one to be classified as.
• In more typical romantic comedy genre news, Amy Adams will star in Leap Year as an uptight woman who wants to follow Irish tradition and propose to her boyfriend on February 29. The script, from the writers of Made of Honor, is described as being like It Happened One Night. I’m sure.

Yes, it’s about time we heard news about a sequel to Enchanted. But not because I am actually looking forward to Enchanted 2. In case you weren’t aware or have forgotten, I’ve been writing contemptuously about the original since my very first day posting on SpoutBlog. Rather, it’s about time only because I was beginning to think Disney had lost its marbles, business-wise. Clint at Moviehole has the unofficial scoop:

A foxy little birdie cheeped in my ear – the good one, the other one’s clogged with wax - this morning that Disney is developing a sequel to its staggeringly-successful “Enchanted” – and the production has inched forward significantly in the past month or two, as a direct result of those smashing DVD sales.

How does she knoooooooow?….

This one probably doesn’t need its source fingerprinted or lie-detected, let’s leave it at that.
But really, did anyone expect the House of Mouse not to forge ahead with a follow-up to one of its biggest hits of 2007?
Nah, me either – if a cow is there to be milked, it need look into some teat cream, it’s bound to be tugged a few more times.

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• Over the weekend, a few critic groups united in naming No Country for Old Men the best movie of 2007. St. Louis, Utah and Florida all love the Coen Bros. movie, as well as Ellen Page, Amy Ryan, Daniel Day-Lewis and Ratatouille. They managed to mix it up a little bit, though, so as not to be completely identical/redundant/unnecessary. I’d give the most hugs to the gang in Utah for honoring The King of Kong if only they hadn’t disappointed me with their choice for best actress runner-up: Amy Adams. If I was booked to attend that little film festival of theirs next month, I’d totally change my mind and boycott. People just don’t know the lengths I’ll go to complain about this Enchanted kudos crap.
• Not surprisingly, National Treasure: Book of Secrets topped the holiday weekend box office with $65 million. I would have gone to see it, but instead I hung out at JFK airport for hours on end Sunday night and watched parts of Con Air on my iPod. I’ve decided that Nic Cage is a lot better suited for the small-small screen. Too bad such a strong opening means he won’t be making direct-to-iPod movies any time soon. 
• Perhaps this is a sign that studios will stop trying to find “the next Harry Potter franchise” and begin trying to find “the next I Am Legend.”: Potter actor Robert Pattinson (”Cedric Diggory”) will star opposite Kristen Stewart in Catherine Hardwicke’s teen vampire flick, Twilight. Too bad the Hollywood Reporter already gave us this story two weeks ago; too bad vampire movies have already been a monstrous trend in Hollywood; and too bad studios will never stop looking for “the next Harry Potter franchise.”

Not that I should be worried about any speculation found in Entertainment Weekly, but I was annoyed this past weekend when I saw the magazine’s “Oscar Buzz-O-Meter”, which is only the latest place to find Amy Adams listed as a highly potential Oscar nominee for Enchanted. The piece notes that, “glowing reviews for her regal turn in Enchanted — and the $70 million it grossed in its first 12 days — could earn Adams her second Oscar nomination.”

Variety also now has Adams listed as a potential dark horse contender in the race. Other places she’s recognized include the Associated Press, Hollywood Elsewhere and The Envelope, which claims she’s a lock for the fifth spot, going up against Marion Cotillard, Keira Knightley, Julie Christie and Ellen Page.

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