No Oscars host has done better Best Picture parodies than Billy Crystal. And no awards show has had better parodies than the MTV Movie Awards (specifically the Max Fischer Players reenactments from the 1999 show). So it is interesting that MTV’s movies editor Josh Horowitz has made a video in which he’s aping Crystal’s opening shtick. And comparatively, he’s not very good. Some of it is kind of funny, including the whole No Country for Old Men phone call, especially the line about Juno being Abigail Breslin with the mouth of Dennis Miller, and the bit about how in There Will Be Blood Kevin J. O’Connor’s mustache seemed to be trying to compete with Daniel Day Lewis’. But I was completely bored by the Michael Clayton bit.

It is at least funnier than that Vanity Fair “In Memoriam” thing. And that There Will Be Blood thing with David Spade. But it’s not quite as funny as the Diablo Cody video from earlier today.

The video is worth watching for one reason, though: Kurt Loder, scarier than ever. The next time I see him in person, I might actually run away screaming. He’s definitely more frightening than The Ruins looks. I have to say, though, as creepy as he is, I can’t wait to see him in Big Trouble in Little China 2.

Anyway, good luck to Jon Stewart this Sunday. And remember, if you’re in NYC, you can watch his monologue and the rest of the ceremony with your friends at Spout and our friends at The Reeler. See here for details.

A lot of people have wondered how a brilliant film like Ratatouille could be denied a Best Picture Oscar nomination. Well, I’ve finally uncovered the conspiracy, and it involves food, obviously. See, Ratatouille celebrates great French cuisine. But apparently the Academy is in the pockets of the American fast food industry, because all five of the Best Picture contenders have some sort of connection to the greasy, fatty and popular foods that keep America overweight and complacent.

What, you don’t believe me? OK, well here’s the obvious ones: There Will Be Blood has a line about drinking milkshakes (the line is now such a popular catch phrase, I’m shocked McDonalds hasn’t yet given its customers a movie tie-in); Juno has a hamburger phone; No Country For Old Men has that slaughterhouse bolt pistol. Now here’s the less noticeable and the real stretch: Michael Clayton deals with a fictional company called U-North, which is pretty much supposed to be the real company Monsato, which got its start as the supplier of saccharin, caffeine and vanillin to Coca-Cola; and Atonement is the latest film to have a “small fry” actress nominated for an Oscar (yeah, that’s all I’ve got).

…Read more

• Certainly the biggest news of the past 24 hours is the DGA’s three-year deal with the AMPTP, which could hopefully lead to a similar deal for the WGA, thereby ending the writer’s strike. It wasn’t that surprising, though, considering directors are used to walking in and not only finishing up but also taking the most credit for something begun by writers. I’m not actually sure if any of the DGA’s deal was based on outlines first made by the WGA, but a lot of times in Hollywood the writer’s original work is unrecognizable in the end product. Anne Thompson has the WGA’s statement regarding the DGA agreement here.
• Meanwhile the writer’s strike is affecting the UK. Look for the British to retaliate by ensuring Atonement wins every one of the BAFTA awards (including Best Animated Film). Imagine how hard-hit Hollywood will be without the ability to market their films with “BAFTA Winner” plastered on posters and in TV ads.
• Meanwhile the writer’s strike is also affecting Australia, which is being blamed more heavily than the writer’s strike for Warner Bros.’ decision to pull the plug on the Justice League movie. Look for Oz to retaliate by ensuring that Baz Luhrman’s Australia wins every one of the 2008 Australian Film Institute Awards, which would probably happen anyway.
• Apparently it’s a big deal that Cloverfield and 27 Dresses are going head to head at the box office this weekend. It seems the trades want this to be about the boys’ movie versus the girls’ movie, but all the girls I know are going to see the monster movie. Maybe I don’t know the right kind of girls?

• David Poland on the DGA’s snubbing of Atonement: “It’s not shocking that Joe Wright hasn’t been nominated for either of his two Oscar-chasing films. He is not a local and the films are not breathtakingly visual.” Not breathtakingly visual, huh? We imagine the Dunkirk Long-Shot Circle Jerk Club would disagree.
• Yesterday, we learned that hacky, studio-beholden critics occasionally outlive their usefulness. Today, we bring you The Best Worst Blurbs of 2007, through which Gelf Magazine attacks the marketing campaigns that twist the words of (mostly) reputable critics into blatantly misleading, top-of-the-poster one-liners. Via The Consumerist.
• Filmdrunk thinks “it’s retarded that after Fight Club becomes a phenomenon, [Chuck] Palahniuk’s next movie adaptation still gets a first-time director (not that I think he’ll do a bad job) and a budget in the single digits.” Said adaptation, Choke, premieres at Sundance next week.
• “For this one, it was kind of a hard choice between Ron or Keith, but on the basis that Keith would probably just lie down in Central park until the world stopped spinning, I figured Ron would be the better choice to rip Lady Liberty’s head clean off.” Scaramouch explains why Ron Wood beat out his bandbate Keith Richards, to make #2 on YesButNoButYes’ list of Ten Things We Hope The Cloverfield Monster really is.

• Your Christmas weekend time suck is here, in the form of indieWIRE’s massive 2007 Critics Poll. There Will Be Blood takes top honors, but as usual, the real fun lies in investigating the individual ballots and spotting the idiosyncrasies. Behold Andrew Bujalski’s single vote for Best Supporting Actor! Marvel at the critic who gave almost equal love to Ken Jacobs and Blades of Glory! But before you do, decide whether you’re thrilled or infuriated to see Southland Tales land ten full places ahead of Atonement (I’m the former. I think.)
• Speaking of There Will Be Blood, critics poll participant Filmbrain has posted some “sketches, fragments, and other half-baked ideas” about what he declares is “easily the best film of the year.” His key contention: it’s a love letter to Stanley Kubrick.
• Tomorrow is Burbanked’s second blogoversy, and he’s celebrating with a ten day party.
• Finally, here’s another time suck, if you need a break from all that critic pollery: Marisa Tomei joins Natalie Portman in the ranks of unwitting screencap porn stars. NSFW, via The WoW Report.

“At the age of 15 or 16, same as some kids discover pot, I discovered Martin Scorsese and David Lynch.” Jamie Stuart sent an email pointing to FilmInFocus, an advertorial portal newly launched by Focus Features, in partnership with Faber and Faber and FILMMAKER Magazine. Stuart has produced three new short films for the site. My favorite of the three is called “Jamie Stuart analyzes Atonement,” but that seems like a slight misnomer–it’s really an analysis of the inspirations and influences of Atonement’s director, Joe Wright, who’s literally on the couch and under the microscope.

Another FilmInFocus feature that may be of interest: Behind the Blog, an (apparently) running series of interviews with film bloggers, including Friends of Spout David Hudson and Andrew Grant.

• Was it star power? Strong reviews? The kind of holiday shopping climate that makes hiding out in a movie theater all weekend seem ideal? Whatever it was, I Am Legend bested all expectations this weekend, to take home $76 million at the domestic box office. That’s the best December opening of all time, stronger than any of the Lord of the Rings films. Meanwhile, from the Adding Insult to Injury File: The Golden Compass continued to disappoint, while Alvin and the Chipmunks scored $45 million in its first weekend.
• On the “specialty” side: Atonement and No Country For Old Men rode their Golden Globe nominations into the overall top ten, landing at spots nine and five, respectively. Expanding to 140-something screens, Juno earned $36,018 per screen–more than any other film, and good for eleventh place overall.
• Awards sludge: the Academy has declared 15 films, including the animated films Beowulf and Ratatouille, eligible for Visual Effects prizes; the American Film Institute put out their annual, totally unremarkable list of the ten best films of the year.
• Is it even news, when Jon Favreau joins the cast of a film already starring Vince Vaughn? Apparently.

Good thing Veruca Salt (the girl, not the band) doesn’t have a movie up for Best Picture this year. She’d probably shout at her daddy, “Hey, Denzel’s got two! I want another one!” And hopefully Grandpa Joe (Here that would be Joe Wright, whose Atonement received seven nominations) would turn around and mumble that she needs a good kick in the pants.

But really, looking at the Golden Globe nominees this morning, I’m wondering why the Hollywood Foreign Press Association couldn’t just pick one of Denzel Washington’s films, so that one category wouldn’t make the rest of the list seem so lopsided. Surely there were two more comedy/musical contenders that could have been added on, too. Heck, let’s just nominate everybody and call it a year, shall we?

…Read more

• The Golden Compass made $26.1 million over the weekend, just over half the $50 million it would have needed to clear in its first three days to justify its $180 million budget. That makes it the fourth consecutive box office disappointment in a row for New Line; it’s also Nicole Kidman’s third flop in the last six months. Meanwhile, teen sex com in indie clothes Juno made $60k a screen on seven screens, for a $531, 399 five day weekend–more than double the per screen average of presumptive Oscar front runner Atonement, which was already doing well with $817,000 on 32 screens.
• From the “Well, I Certainly Can’t Complain About THAT” Department: over the weekend, the Los Angeles Film Critics Association and the New York Film Critics Online both declared There Will Be Blood the best English-language film of the year.
• Strike talks fell apart on Friday night, and they’re not expected to resume any time soon. And, with the AMPTP soon shifting focus to hammer out a deal with the DGA, it “now seems a certainty” that the strike will continue well into next year.
• The International Documentary Association named A Walk to Beautiful as their top film of the year on Friday. Though that film beat Michael Moore’s Sicko for the top prize,  the loudest man in documentary film sent his sisters, armed with a manifesto about his mission to outgross Fred Claus, to pick up a Career Achievement Award on his behalf.

Here at SpoutBlog, we’re pretending like The Golden Compass doesn’t exist (and, if Nikki Finke is to be believed, come Monday morning New Line will be scrambling to spin the fact that we’re not the only ones). But here’s a look at three films that are newly out this weekend that we *have* covered, and can, to one extent or another recommend.

• Atonement: “Big, classy, Oscar-bait World War II dramas don’t really get much better,” I wrote from Toronto. And in the three months since, I haven’t come across anyone who has anything seriously negative to say about this film…beyond the fact that the so-literal ending is like something out of Scooby Doo. I say, pull a Selma and leave the theater the second Vanessa Redgrave pops on screen, thereby claiming willful ignorance to the last-minute bubble bursting.
• Juno: It’s better than Little Miss Sunshine, but I maintain that Fox is doing its reputation a huge disservice by marketing it like that piece of shiteating Oscar bait, instead of admitting that it’s a shameless teen sex com. If the very thought of that stripey stomach doesn’t send you cowering under your desk, check out my review from Telluride, and endless coverage at our Juno tag page.
• Billy the Kid: Kevin and Paul have been all up on Billy’s jock since Day One. See their SXSW coverage here, read my review from earlier this week here, and listen to this week’s podcast for a new interview with Jennifer Venditti here.

Big, classy, Oscar-bait World War II dramas don’t really get much better than Atonement, Joe Wright’s swooning adaptation of Ian McEwan’s 2001 novel. If the last half hour or so seems to drag to a bit of an anti-climax, it’s only because the first forty minutes are so exhiliaratingly jam-packed with style, plot and character nuance, that the rest of the film is necessarily spent with both characters and viewers struggling to comprehend the full weight of what came before. Atonement swells to an early high and then glides down to earth, and it’s only at the deceptively low end that the film’s massive emotional arc becomes apparent.

It’s in this early section that Wright perfects an almost seamless method of time-shifting, in order to display events several times from the point of view of different players–a brilliant cinematic interpretation of an extremely novelistic device. The action begins on a languid summer day in 1935, on the impossibly grande English country estate of the Tallis family. Precocious, play-writing 13 year-old Briony Tallis (Saoirse Ronan) watches from an upstairs window as her older sister Cecelia (Keira Knightley) has an ambiguous, compromising altercation at an outdoor fountain with Robbie (James McAvoy), a servant’s son whose Cambridge education has been paid for by Cecelia and Briony’s father. Briony slams the window and we cut back in time, to Ceclia flouncing out of the mansion and onto the grounds, where she meets up with Robbie and strolls with him out to the fountain. The incident looks very different from the ground, and it soon becomes clear that Robbie and Cecilia are dancing around their mutual but unspoken love.

Over the course of the evening, Briony will witness three additional incidents, two directly involving Ceclia and Robbie and another open to interpretation, and she will drastically misinterpret all. Out of some mix of jealousy and younger-sister frustration, Briony carelessly manipulates these misunderstandings, until the sisters can only watch––Cecelia, without recourse; Briony, it seems, without guilt––as Robbie is removed from their lives for the foreseeable future.

…Read more

I’ve been so consumed with Mumblestuffs and the upcoming double-onslaught of Telluride and Toronto that I totally forgot about the Venice Film Festival, which begins today. Here’s a look at some of the better preview pieces floating around today:

• It’s the festival’s 75th birthday, and Reuters has an historic timeline.
• “Following recent wins for Vera Drake and The Queen, four out of the 22 films competing for the festival’s main award, the Golden Lion, have British directors,” writes Helen Pidd for The Guardian.
• One of those directors is Peter Greenaway, whose Rembrandt biopic Nightwatching marks a return to something resembling narrative filmmaking after almost ten years spent on experimental video work. Pidd’s colleague Peter Bradshaw hasn’t seen it, but thinks it should win the Golden Lion anyway. “[F]or sheer shake-up value, giving Greenaway the Golden Lion would probably be the most gratifying.”
• Bradshaw also reviews Atonement, another homegrown production and Venice’s opening night film. “It is clever, sophisticated: though perhaps multiplex audiences might find it a little too tricksy. Time will tell. Atonement will certainly provide food for thought and a colossal sugar-rush of romance for Venice festivalgoers tonight.”
• Filing a report on Glenn Kenny’s blog (the Premiere critic says he’s skipping the Lido because he’s “a Toronto guy, and only the most peripatetic of critics can do both fests”), Mark Salisbury has great praise for Atonement’s lead performances. Keira Knightley gives “yet another fine performance that should silence her detractors…But even she is outshone by [James] McAvoy. So good in The Last King Of Scotland (and so overlooked, too, because without his counterpoint, Forest Whitaker’s Amin wouldn’t have been half as effective) McAvoy asserts his position as Britain’s brightest male star with a performance of such range, dignity and humanity that it should, if there’s any justice, find recognition come awards season.”
• For Reuters, Mike Collett-White notes that Venice programmers have amped up the Hollywood star factor this year, perhaps in an attempt to stave off competition from other festivals. Most of the must-sees at Venice (Lust, Caution, I’m Not There, The Darjeeling Limited) are world-premiering there before hitting festivals like Toronto and New York in the coming month.