Maxim has named Quantum of Solace actress Olga Kurylenko “the hottest Bond Girl ever.” How does one even make such an assessment, when there are so many memorable Bond Girl moments? Remember Ursula Andress, rising from the sea in a bikini? Or Halle Berry, rising from the sea in a bikini? Or Famke Janssen sex-attacking Pierce Brosnan in GoldenEye? (Oh, Famke. You really know how to pick a paycheck.)

If you answered “Sure. Whatever.” to one or both of those first two examples, I have a statistic that I’d like to share with you. Did you know that there’s an extremely high rate of death amongst Bond Girls who have worn a bikini? It’s true. Based on my extraordinarily scientific research, out of 11 Bond girls who had “bikini moments,” to borrow the terminology used on JamesBondWiki, five died before the end of the film. That’s 45 percent, making the wearing of a two piece bathing suit in the company of James Bond just about the most dangerous activity a woman could engage in anywhere on the planet at any time in history.

In the hopes that future Bond Girls will learn the lesson of their forebears and stay away from the skimpy garments of death, I’ve compiled a five point dossier on how and why these bathing beauties met their mortal ends.

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