How often do you get Barbet Schroeder, Gerard Depardieu and Nestor Almendros together to shoot a film about a burglar who ends up falling in love with the dominatrix whose dungeon he’s unwittingly tried to rob? In a scene at the very beginning of Schroeder’s exquisitely paced, beautifully executed Maitresse the tone is brilliantly set for the relationship – and thus the film itself – through Almendros’ meticulously composed images. His camera captures Depardieu’s fair Olivier and his dark-haired partner-in-crime (whose bad idea it was to burglarize the “downstairs apartment”) in a hornet’s nest of their own making, caught in the act by Bulle Ogier’s “Maitresse” Ariane, and subsequently handcuffed to her radiator and guarded by a vicious Doberman named Texas.
But wait––if this doesn’t sound like a setup straight from the twisted mind of David Lynch I don’t know what does. Indeed, what’s most striking about the erotically charged scene that follows is how closely the psychological power dynamics of Schroeder’s Maitresse parallel the infamous “Bobby Peru seduces Lula” scene from Wild at Heart. In both cases no actual sex takes place. Instead there’s a steamy sadist/predator (Bobby Peru, Ariane) sinking his/her teeth into a piece of lost prey (Lula, Olivier). Both Lula and Olivier are turned on against their will, psychologically “raped,” so stunned at losing control that they’re not even fully aware of the situation they’re in, let alone how to escape it. The difference lies in the relationship between the characters. Lula is rendered helpless until Bobby releases her when he’s “gotta get going.” She’s just a toy for Bobby to kill time with in the afternoon, whereas Ariane plays for keeps – a spider whose web encompasses. Ariane takes over her “victims” wholly, completely and unapologetically. And like Bobby knowing enough to drop in on Lula unannounced – ensuring her defenses will be down – Ariane takes advantage of the element of surprise (burglars dropping in unannounced – how convenient!), wielding it like a stun gun before the attack.
“No tongue – my lipstick,” Diane Ladd’s conniving Marietta Fortune admonishes at the beginning of Wild at Heart, flirting with Harry Dean Stanton’s Johnnie Farragut, while perfectly setting the tone for the tantalizing sexual games to follow. Lynch’s typically bizarre noir contains one of the steamiest foreplay scenes ever to grace the indie screen. Strangely, this kinky non-sex scene involves not Laura Dern’s Lula and Nicolas Cage’s Sailor Ripley (whose love scenes are saturated with such hyper-real color and artistic angles as to overshadow the screwing), but the childlike Lula and Willem Dafoe’s greasy, so-creepy-he’s-charismatic Bobby Peru (”Just like the country,” he drawls, introducing himself to Lula and Sailor outside the hotel they’re all staying at, sliding snakelike into Wild at Heart nearly an hour and twenty minutes fashionably late). Dressed in black, sporting a Clark Gable moustache, Bobby’s the ultimate contrast to Dern’s big blonde hairdo, red lipstick painted, 20-year-old piece of mentally damaged white trash. That the episode doesn’t culminate in predictable fornication only proves that the iconoclastic director truly understands how to harness the power of the erotic chase––that is, that it’s hotter than the catch.
I first saw Wild at Heart on the big screen at a more innocent time in my life, when S&M conjured up only images of women wearing corsets and stilettos, bearing whips and canes. But seeing the above scene between Bobby and Lula hit a nerve in me, in fact several. It was the only time I can remember actually feeling embarrassed at the movies, voyeuristically observing this charged encounter onscreen. The characters were both fully dressed, no fucking was taking place – so why did I feel like I was witnessing the dirtiest hardcore porn?
Probably because I was. Bobby and Lula engage in a power play game which renders Lula stripped psychologically naked. Instead of tearing off each other’s clothes they’re clawing at each other’s psyches. The sexual act pales in comparison.
I’m running off to the airport shortly and will be away from the computer until Friday afternoon Cannes time, but here’s a quick look at the news coming out of the festival as of Thursday morning:
Un Conte de Noel, Surveillance, and The Pleasure of Being Robbedhave been picked up. The former two were bought by IFC; the latter two deals were all but confirmed before the festival began.
David Lynch’s production company is putting together ALejandro Jodorowsky’s next film. Described as a “metaphysical spaghetti gangster film,” it’s set to star Nick Nolte, Asia Argento, Marilyn Manson and Udo Kier. Also, Lynch himself will allegedly team with the so-hot-right-now (tee hee) Werner Herzog on My Son, My Son, “a horror-tinged murder drama based on a true story,” set for a “guerrilla-style digital video shoot on Coronado Island” in March.
The Tisch Film Review alerts us to Jean Eustache’s Circle, a weekly series at New York’s French Institute/Alliance Francaise beginning April 1. “Folks, this is essential viewing,” says Alex Ross Perry.
Oh, the irony: this Blue Velvet inspired cake looks bloody, but it’s totally vegan. It makes me want to sponsor a David Lynch Bake-Off.
AMC’s Future of Classic blog asks three celebrity impersonators “to name the best films starring the person they impersonate.” This raises three questions:
1) Under what circumstances might one need to hire an Angelina Jolie impersonator? I’m sure there are scenarios in which guys need to get rid of their deathly boring former sitcom star wives in a hurry, but I can’t imagine that happening often enough for poor Tiffany Claus to make a living.
2) Why didn’t they ask this guy (via Indiepix) to name his favorite David Lynch films?
3) Why haven’t celebrity impersonators started creating original content for YouTube in droves? It’s not like there’s a barrier to entry. Where’s my alternate universe Angelina Jolie webcam sitcom?
You might have seen the above video by now––it’s been making the rounds all weekend. Someone took a couple of clips from theInland Empire DVD, of David Lynch railing against the watching of films on cell phones, and set it to the familiar music from Apple commercials. “It’s such a sadness, that you think you’ve seen a film on your fucking telephone!” he cries. “Get real!” Cue the iPhone logo. The End. Cute, right? Harmless.
Not exactly. Kent Nichols, co-creator of the mega-popular web series Ask a Ninja, has written a blog post in response to the clip, titled “David Lynch is a tool.” “Look David Lynch,” Nichols writes. “I respect that you’ve made a career by confusing people and by pretending to be smarter than them.” But…
…you’re getting to be a cranky old man. If someone wants to pay you to watch your weird little films on a cell phone or a DVD or a flipbook, just smile and take the money. Short of inviting every potential viewer to sit and watch it in your personal viewing chamber, there is no “ideal” viewing experience.
There’s just content and people. People want the content, we give it to them.
Though Nichols goes on to concede that “some stuff works better in the cinematic environment,” he concludes by saying that if a filmmaker wants to reach the masses, “You just need to create visuals that will play well on a 320×240 window. If you’re doing anything else, you’re being a cranky old artist.”
Missing things like this is why I should never go on vacation. I learned of the video above via a Screenhead post which popped up in my RSS reader, but for reasons unknown to me, no longer exists.
The gist: David Lynch went to Berlin to talk about transcendental meditation. At a press conference, Lynch was joined on stage by “Raja” Schiffgens, Germany’s leading proponent of TM, who announced that Lynch’s foundation had recently purchased Teufelsberg, a large hill in Berlin constructed out of rubble from World War II, with the intention of building a TM center on top of the hill. The Raja then went into a spiel about how the center would neutralize negativity and help create “an invincible Germany…invincible against all alien influences” When asked by an audience member to explain this concept of invincibility, the Raja compared Germany’s quest for invincibility to that of a soccer team (?), to which another audience member responded, “Adolf Hitler wanted that too.” The Raja’s comeback? “Yes, but unfortunately he didn’t succeed.” That’s when all hell broke loose.
I’m not sure if the Hitler fracas had anything to do with this, but if my Babelfish translation of this article is in anyway accurate, Lynch and co. have since been denied permits to build on the Teufelsberg. Lynch has since issued a statement in response to the hullabaloo, which reads in part: “I don’t want to have anything to do with Hitler. We all know he was not a good person who did terrible things.”
I’m running off to the airport shortly and will be away from the computer until Friday afternoon Cannes time, but here’s a quick look at the news coming out of the festival as of Thursday morning:
The scariest entry on 
