The new action film sequel Crank: High Voltage is being advertised with the tagline “He was dead…But he got better.” Aside from sort of ruining the ending to the first Crank for those of us who haven’t seen it, this copy from the posters has been receiving a lot of attention for how ridiculous it sounds. Fans of the original have to disagree with the tagline, because they know Chev Chelios (Jason Statham) was not dead; in fact it is clear from the final scene that he miraculously survived that fall from the helicopter. Meanwhile, people less familiar with the movie simply find the idea of a dead character being resurrected for the benefit of a sequel to be laughably unacceptable, as if such an idea is unheard of in Hollywood.

But even if Chelios had been officially declared dead at the end of Crank, the sequel certainly wouldn’t be the first to revive a main character for a follow-up. Obviously horror films do it all the time, and it’s not exactly uncommon in sci-fi, fantasy, action and comic book genres, either. Even while ignoring the invincibility convention of contemporary slasher films, we were able to select six sequels in which a deceased (or presumed deceased) character returns.

Warning: Spoilers may be found after the jump.
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Need help cutting down your Christmas tree? Jason Vorhees can help. Want someone to cook holiday dinner? Hannibal Lecter’s got you. Even the Mummy is here to bandage your kid’s leg after a see-saw accident involving Chucky. It’s a horror villain family Christmas, featuring Darth Vader looking beautiful walking through the snow, Freddie Krueger snipping a bouquet of flowers with his glove, and Samara popping out of the television to deliver presents.

Yes, that present is a DirecTV dish, and this is a commercial. But it’s old, it’s foreign and it’s one of the more enjoyable DirecTV ads ever made. My only criticism: shouldn’t Leatherface have been in charge of the tree cutting? Jason could have just wandered around with no significant duty, like Dracula. Also, I would have loved an appearance from Tony Todd, preferably holding some candy canes. Otherwise, this clip is perfect. I’d love to see it become an actual video e-card for the holidays, along with the old SNL Season’s Greetings skits (for those wondering where Frankenstein’s monster is, he’s over with Tonto and Tarzan singing “Away in a Manger”).

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The vampires of Stephanie Meyer’s Twilight novels are described as impossibly beautiful. But it’s one vampire, “Edward Cullen,” who is written as having such appealing details that it would seem impossible for a girl not to fall in love with him. In actuality, that’s what has happened to most females, young and old, who have read the books. And while his cinematic portrayer, Robert Pattinson, doesn’t quite resemble a marble statue of Adonis, the actor is still getting his fair share of seven-year-old suitors asking to be bitten.

Cullen is hardly the first vampire to so strongly attract the hearts (and necks) of mortals. But what is it about the bloodsucking undead that turns us on so much? Is it truly their stone-white skin and chiseled features? Or perhaps it’s their ability to go all night long? Let us take a look at the many vampire love interests that literature and cinema have given us over the years in an attempt to find out their sexy secret.

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It’s Halloween, a time when sales of candy and rentals of horror movies spike off the charts. Candy has been around since the time of the ancient Egyptians, but the horror film is barely 100 years old. The genre is enjoying a resurgence in popularity over the past several years: right now you’ve got Saw V in wide release, Let The Right One In in limited theaters, the vampy teen Twilight coming up in a few weeks and True Blood making waves on HBO. Studios can’t seem to go more than a few months without releasing some sort of a zombie flick, and vampires are coming back into their own.

But what was the first real horror film? Before movies existed, people had to get their scares from books and the local newspaper, but now you can just switch on cable and tune into NBC’s Chiller channel for instant scares. Check out a brief history of the horror movie after the break, and look just how far we’ve come.

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Wanna know how I know I’m not racist? I’ve been staring at the cover of the latest Vogue magazine for weeks and I didn’t once link the image of LeBron James and Gisele Bundchen to King Kong and Fay Wray. But plenty of other people have been making the connection, calling the Annie Leibovitz-photographed cover offensive. Sure, maybe the pose makes James, who is apparently now the first African-American male to appear on the cover of Vogue, look too violent, but I wouldn’t necessarily claim he’s made to ape Kong (pun intended).

Then again, it took me years to find out/realize that King Kong was as racist a film as they come. Perhaps I’m more ignorant than racist, at least in the way NAACP spokesman Richard McIntire puts it: “some younger folks who don’t have that exposure may not even know what the King Kong movies were, may not get that.” (quoted by Women’s Wear Daily). However, when I finally did watch the 1933 original in its entirety as an adult, the colonialism allegory was clear as day. And I believe the film is pretty racist in retrospect, as are so, so many early films. Yet for all the places that have been colonized in history, I think it’s even more racist to claim that Kong is necessarily metaphoric of black victims of colonization.

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