One of the things I’m most proud of is that I’ve managed to make almost all the way through my twenties knowing virtually nothing about Harry Potter. I don’t have children, and I just don’t buy that whole “It’s good for grown-ups, too!” bit. I know there’s a broad in the movies who looks kind of like the current editor of Gawker. That’s about it.

So this whole Dumbledore is gay thing means nothing to me. But I am really into imagining the unseen, offscreen lives of fictional characters, so I love Vulture’s list of Ten Other Fictional Characters Whose Outings Won’t Shock Us That Much, and Radar’s outing of childhood icons. I envision a parallel universe in which Blanche kicks the rest of the Golden Girls out of the house and invites Lilith, Jo March and Ramona Cleary to move down to Florida and live out the rest of their days as an ad-hoc openly gay family.