When it was just the Adoption Community protesting the marketing of Orphan, a hackneyed horror flick about yet another evil adoptee, it was merely another minor controversy incited by a select interest group. But now members of the U.S. House and Senate have gotten involved with a letter campaign to Warner Bros. condemning the studio’s seemingly anti-adoption advertisements for and message in the film.

Is this really necessary after so many years and so many stories containing fucked-up orphans? Sure, Hollywood has given us too few Annie types in cinema over the past few decades, but certainly ‘80s television made up for this history with the likes of Diff’rent Strokes, Webster, Small Wonder, My Two Dads, Punky Brewster, et al. And adoptions were on the rise for most of that time, only dropping slightly in recent years, possibly due to the dwindling economy.

That isn’t to say we agree with cinema’s consistent misrepresentation of orphans or adoptees, so to expose the unfair reputation of parentless kids, we take a look at ten types of screwed-up orphans, which potentially keep more people from adopting them. Check out our list of characters and films after the jump:
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There will be sequels to both Star Trek and X-Men Origins: Wolverine. Not only are these now officially greenlit, but they’re also what we call “likely sequels” prior to their certainty — meaning we all saw them coming way before Paramount and Fox, respectively, announced them. However, it’s not necessarily a given that a successful movie will always spawn a follow-up. For example, box office record-holder Titanic could never become a franchise.

Of course, people will always joke about the possibilities for a Titanic sequel, and that kind of humor is what makes the Twitter meme #unlikelysequels so entertaining. Unfortunately, 140 characters allows for little more than a proposed sequel title (and yes, “Titanic 2: Jack’s Back” is among them), so we have decided to expand on ten favorites by providing the synopsis and, for some, casting suggestions.
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Even if you love the original Escape to Witch Mountain, you have to welcome a remake. The 1975 sci-fi Disney film has some very dated special effects — though the visible wires used to “levitate” a handgun and a harmonica give it a campy charm — and it’s not exactly the well-respected classic that The Black Hole or Old Yeller is, anyway. So, better a remake (or “modern re-imagining”) of a slightly beloved movie, which has already been redone once, to give The Rock another fulfillment of his Disney contract and utilize all the “perfect” digital effects now available.

While it seems that eventually all Disney live-action classics will be remade, potentially rendering obsolete the careers of Dean Jones, Kevin Corcoran and those ugly kids from Mary Poppins, there are some that may, like Witch Mountain, deserve to be recycled. Disney has previously erred in reworking films like The Absent-Minded Professor (Robin Williams is no Fred MacMurray) and The Shaggy Dog (Tim Allen is no MacMurray, either, nor even is he Tommy Kirk), and it’s mistakenly producing new versions of Swiss Family Robinson and 20,000 Leauges Under the Sea. But there are so many other films, most forgotten, that would better lend themselves to remakes.

Here we’ve selected 10 such classics, all but one live-action features, and we welcome you to suggest any others you may wish to see updated and/or re-imagined.
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The song “Star Wars” by a capella group Moosebutter is nearly a decade old, but it’s suddenly becoming a hit thanks to the popular YouTube video “Star Wars - an a capella tribute to John Williams,” which has been showcased everywhere from StarWars.com to an NBC affiliate in Atlanta. The problem with the new video is that it makes its star, paid YouTuber Corey Vidal, seem like he’s the one responsible for both the song and its performance. He does give credit to Moosebutter, whose permission he received prior to making his clip, but it doesn’t seem to be enough. How many viewers actually read the info about the videos they watch on YouTube?

Okay, so Vidal’s lip-syncing is entertaining, but I also thought it was him singing — all four parts — and so initially was impressed by that. Otherwise his talent is merely good memorization skills and simple composite editing. And for that he’s gotten 1.4 million views. In response, the guys from Moosebutter have put up a video of themselves, minus one member, performing the song live in 2005. That’s the clip I’m featuring instead of Vidal’s, and here’s hoping that it gets at least half the views as the clip that’s getting all the fame.

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• After being on track to be as perfect as the first film, Iron Man 2 has received a monkey wrench in the form of a recasting: for unspecified reasons (money), Terrence Howard will not reprise his role of Jim Rhodes, aka the future suited-hero War Machine, allowing Don Cheadle to replace him. While the same (or better) level of actor will be involved, the remodeling of the part is sure to be a little discomforting.
• Universal will be the new distributor of DreamWorks films in a deal that everyone expected to happen. But just because it was inevitable doesn’t change how perfect the relationship is. For one thing, their Earth and moon logos fit together so well. And as a team, they’re like Elliot and E.T. riding that bike across the sky (but which studio is in the basket?). Sorry if that only makes sense to me.
• Who knows what the markets will be like when the film is released, but Fox appears to be fast-tracking the sequel to Wall Street, titled Money Never Sleeps, which will see Michael Douglas’ Gordon Gekko released from prison into an unrecognizable financial world. 21 screenwriter Allan Loeb will be rewriting the film so expect the world to also be unrecognizable to most on Wall Street, as all the Asian traders will presumably be replaced by whites.
• In news that is probably only exciting or interesting to me, the National Association of Theater Owners is breaking away from the dog and pony show known as ShoWest to begin a new yearly convention for the exhibition business. Hopefully NATO can use this opportunity for better progress in the industry before the studios turn it into just another celebration of Hollywood.

Product placement in movies is now so overdone that we may not even notice it unless a particular film or TV show really hits us over the head with a blatant in-your-face product shot. Otherwise, seeing commercial goods everywhere merely seems like everyday life in capitalist America. Just look at any of the websites that tally up products spotlighted in mainstream movies and you’ll probably be surprised (though not shocked) at how many brands appear in each new release. Did you notice that Blades of Glory contains 38 separate products? Probably not. Many of those products couldn’t have gotten their money’s worth, because the movie doesn’t allow the audience to walk away recalling any one particular item.

At a time when TV’s Top Chef and 30 Rock show us how lame blatantly whorish and ironic product placement can get, and while moviegoers are being subjected to more subliminal, suggestive and unintentional advertisements (Speed Racer, Wall-E and Beverly Hills Chihuahua respectively have us thinking about McDonalds, Apple products and Taco Bell, though some of these associations are not necessarily the movie’s fault), it’s good to remember that not all product placement is superfluous or despicable. Some of it is actually funny, smart and beneficial to mankind.

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