I’m pretty impressed by the box office success of Cloudy With a Chance of Meatballs, an unrecognizably loose adaptation of my favorite children’s book, which I had last month included in a list of movies that really ruined our childhood. Apparently I was completely wrong in that claim and the movie is supposedly “Pixar good.” Initially I had planned on boycotting the 3-D animated film, but I’m suddenly very much looking forward to seeing it sometime this week.

I’m also now kind of curious about Jennifer’s Body, which came in at an embarrassing fifth place and is now allegedly signaling the end of Megan Fox’s career. Never mind the fact that we film bloggers shouldn’t want this to happen because she’s been such great traffic-bait for us in the past (meaning she’s allowed some of us to get paid for this once in awhile). Is she really to blame for the bomb? Or, is it the Diablo Codyspeak? Or the marketing? Or, is this simply one of those films, like its ancestor, Heathers, that will take some time to find it’s cult audience — which will, by the looks of those rallying for the film, be primarily women?

Let’s see what the film blogs are saying about Jennifer’s Body’s seemed failure after the jump:

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One of my favorite screenplays of all time is Daniel Waters’ Heathers, mainly because of its clever, yet not necessarily realistic dialogue. However, I’m not that into the work of Diablo Cody, whose writing style is often compared to and admittedly influenced by that earlier black comedy. Waters’ line “Did you have a brain tumor for breakfast?” could easily fit in a Cody-penned film, as could “No one at Westerberg is going to let you play their reindeer games.” But most of the memorable, quotable Heathers lines are smarter. Aren’t they?

I often wonder if I would have had any appreciation for Heathers had I seen it as my older, more cynical self. Would I have dismissed the script the same way I now do the scripts for Juno and Jennifer’s Body? Or, is Codyspeak a lot more forced and cheesy than Waters’ writing? And is Waters more respectable for not following Heathers with continued attempts at similarly clever dialogue? Imagine Waters’ script for Batman Returns with lines like “I’ve gotta motor, Alfred, if I want to catch the Penguin” and “What’s your damage, Catwoman?”

Okay, so Waters’ later scripts weren’t very good anyway, and it’d probably be pretty interesting to see a Cody-penned superhero movie (just as I was curious about Kevin Smith’s Superman script). But reviews for Cody’s latest are nowhere near as good as Juno’s were (and she’s certainly not going to win another Oscar for it), and part of the reason may be that people are no longer giving her goofy Codyspeak (or “diablologue”) a pass. In reviews, interviews and other posts, film bloggers are criticizing Cody’s words more than ever.

Check out some of these criticisms after the jump:

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Though I didn’t include it on my list of 80s movies that need TV series, I could actually see a show based on Heathers being pretty cool. No, I’m not pulling your dick. And no, I didn’t have a brain tumor for breakfast. I’d continue the quoting by saying this isn’t just a spoke in my menstrual cycle, but I don’t have one of those. What I do have is a nearly twenty-year obsession with the movie as well as an odd exception when it comes to the idea of adapting it to other media. Certainly I don’t want anyone remaking Heathers on the big screen, but I’d be first in line for a campy musical version, and I’d read a comic book based on it (the thing would have to be published by Archie Comics, obviously).

Of course, I don’t expect this newly announced series idea to be very good. Network television is no place for a show based on Heathers. Not even Fox can get away with what the thing should be like. It wouldn’t be Heathers without all the swearing. And it couldn’t be as dark as it must be, either. However, provided there were some smart minds behind the idea, it could work quite well as an HBO or Showtime program. With a tone somewhere between The Sopranos and Weeds. The way I’m expecting it to be, as long as it’s on commercial television, the show may as well be called Mean Girls instead. Which would be a great idea, actually, if Tina Fey was behind it.

So, yeah, Heathers: the TV Show could be very, but it won’t be, and I see what everyone’s damage is over this news. But don’t worry, if it does ever end up on the air, it’ll soon be off and just as forgotten as the shows Ferris Bueller, Dirty Dancing and My Big Fat Greek Life.

Check out some blog responses to the news — imagine them recited in a montage of lunchtime poll answers — after the jump:
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Everyone’s talking about the new R-rated trailer for Jennifer’s Body, a horror comedy starring Megan Fox as a possessed cheerleader. My first impression was that it seems too much like last year’s Teeth, only with less interesting subtext. Alison Willmore of The Independent Eye instead finds the movie reminiscent of 2000’s Ginger Snaps, though she doesn’t think that’s a bad thing. Either way, coming from screenwriter Diablo Cody, Jennifer’s Body doesn’t appear original in any way except for its forced, writerly dialogue (”You need a mani bad. You should find a Chinese chick to buff your situation.”). And interestingly (coincidentally?) enough, her Oscar-winning movie, Juno, just so happens to feature actress Emily Perkins, costar of the Ginger Snaps trilogy.

Originality aside (it’s also being likened to Heathers and Species), Jennifer’s Body is being celebrated as low culture, criticized for being worse than low culture and otherwise dividing the bloggers up as only Cody’s feature follow-up to Juno could. Meanwhile, the truly important people (i.e. the teen boys looking at blogs) probably won’t care about what’s a good screenplay or what films this may have ripped off, because they’re probably only paying attention to all the teased Megan Fox nudity (including plenty of footage of that “topless” scene we saw “leaked” photos of last year).

By the way, my second impression of the trailer was that it’s cool they used a Runaways song so that this Bloggery can be linked to last Friday’s posting, in a way. Shows how bored I was with the plot/dialogue/visuals. Also, because you probably won’t see her acknowledged on most posts about this movie, Jennifer’s Body is directed by Karyn Kusama, of Girlfight and Æon Flux.

Now, on to the film blog reactions, after the jump:

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Are you tired of all the false rumors of celebrity deaths (today it was Rick Astley)? And are you tired of all the jokes that Michael Jackson is really still alive somewhere, hanging out with Tupac, JFK and Elvis? So are we, but we thought we’d take both the obnoxious death hoax trend and the idea that MJ faked it so he could live in peace and out of debt as inspiration for something more worthwhile: a discussion of favorite false deaths in movies.

The device is quite popular, especially in thrillers and horror flicks, and it can be employed as a plot starter or in a twist ending. James Bond has done it, as has Sherlock Holmes. Whether someone fakes his/her own death or is simply mistaken for dead, the actual deed or the ultimate reveal can end up terrific cinema. In fact, it was very difficult for us to narrow our favorites down to ten. It’s a shame we had to leave out memorable scenes from Heathers, Hero and many other movies. Certainly you’ll disagree with some of our exclusions, too, so feel free to name them in the comments section.

Just beware; there may be SPOILERS after the jump:
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I guess if there’s room on Broadway for John Waters, there’s room on the stage for a movie that popularized the phrase “fuck me gently with a chainsaw.” That’s right, everyone’s favorite homicidal teen comedy, Heathers, is about to be musicalized, so get ready for a choreographed number set to “Teenage Suicide (Don’t Do It),” as well as new tunes potentially titled “It Will Be Very,” “Plain or BBQ,” and, obviously, “I Love My Dead Gay Son” (director Andy Fickman has already said that last oft-quoted line has inspired some lyrics).

Of course, there seems to be new announcements of movies-turning-musicals every day. Why is this one more worthy of a Bloggery roundup than others? Because not only is Heathers one of my favorite films of all time, it’s also possibly the most sacred film ever for my buddy Monika Bartyzel (of Cinematical), who I just knew would wake up and immediately Tweet something like this: “I want to burn down Broadway and break the knees of every musical-adapting jerk out there.”

For more on her response and other bloggers’ reactions, keep reading after the jump.

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There is a good reason Hollywood continually makes Animal House wannabes and avoids producing films that actually focus on academia. Kids prefer their college movies to be about the fun stuff. And so a movie like Old School grossed $75 million while another Luke Wilson comedy called Tenure currently lacks a distributor. The latter film may also be hilarious, as a satire of the tenure process, but if it doesn’t concentrate more on beer bongs and naked co-eds, it won’t attract as big an audience. And according to some scholars, it may not even resonate with them, because it couldn’t possibly be what the process is really like. Film blogger and associate professor Chuck Tryon was quoted about the film last year as saying, “my ongoing pursuit of tenure typically involves me sitting in front of my laptop until 1 a.m., I don’t know how interesting that would be to watch.”

And evident by the scathing reviews from Sundance of John Krasinski’s Brief Interviews With Hideous Men, it appears another film about academia has failed to make a strong case for the subject matter. Too bad for the late David Foster Wallace, whose stories were adapted for the film, that Gus Van Sant wasn’t at the helm. A decade ago, in an interview with Van Sant, Wallace pretty much gushed that Good Will Hunting is the most accurate film about academia ever made. Do we agree with him? Let’s just say there’s not a whole lot of competition for such an honor. But in our attempt to recognize the ten best films about academia, Good Will Hunting doesn’t quite make the top spot.
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Never mind the fact that Sex and Death 101 reunites Heathers screenwriter Daniel Waters with that film’s star, Winona Ryder. After Ford Fairlane, Hudson Hawk, Batman Returns and Demolition Man (all movies I enjoy, yet on a much, much lower level), I’m not holding my breath. Heathers was a great, brilliant fluke or flash of genius, and I’m fine with its strengths not being repeated here or ever. The fact that it exists on its own makes it that much better. Instead, I’m more excited about seeing Mindy “Natalie from Facts of Life” Cohn in a supporting role, which, at least in the trailer, seems to be quite prominent (by the way, I never knew she voiced “Velma” in so many Scooby-Doo cartoons and video games).

As you can see, other than reuniting us with “Natalie”, Sex and Death 101, which Waters also directed, doesn’t appear to have much going for it. However, the film did play at Cannes last year and at the Seattle International Film Festival, where it picked up an award for best director. And Scott Weinberg, who saw the film at Fantastic Fest and reviewed it for Cinematical, wrote: “Unapologetically sexy, oddly unpredictable and ultimately kinda (yes) sweet, Sex and Death 101 is just a solid little comedy that snuck up on me and showed me a really good time.” SO, maybe it is just being sold as a crappy-looking magical sex comedy dealing with lustful male fantasies. But if the horny teens show up wanting Zapped!, will they be disappointed? Well, Winona Ryder does technically (though quickly and barely) appear partially naked in the film, so perhaps they won’t be. Of course, they could just watch the clip after the jump. Or see the freeze frame here.

According to ComingSoon.net, Sex and Death 101 will receive a limited release on April 4.

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If you were even slightly irritated by Ellen Page’s too-precocious performance in Juno, then you might want to avoid the trailer for Noam Murro’s Smart People. In the movie, which screened at Sundance last week, Page plays yet another teen who seems too smart for her own good. In fact, it is obvious that the trailer is trying to make this character appear similar to her Oscar-nominated role. Now, I’m not one of the many Juno haters, and I think Page has talent, but doesn’t it take away from her performance in Juno to show us that she’s doing the exact same thing in her follow-up? Never mind the fact that Smart People seems like The Squid and the Whale meets The Ballad of Jack and Rose — I’ve heard that it is pretty funny and smart despite its familiar territories — I’m more turned off by the fact that it’s like Juno II without our favorite Juno I actors (Cera, Bateman and Simmons, of course).

Not that you can go wrong with Thomas Haden Church, with or without a catfish mustache (I just watched Spider-Man 3 for the first time, and he’s the only good thing about it). Here he plays the adopted brother of a pompous Carnegie Mellon professor played by Dennis Quaid. Page plays Quaid’s Young Republican daughter; Ashton Holmes (A History of Violence) plays his son; and Sarah Jessica Parker is his former student-turned-doctor who becomes his love interest. Apparently Church’s character is more free spirited than the rest, and he probably teaches them all to have more fun in life. This sounds pretty unoriginal, but from what I’ve read the film as a whole works as a satire of academia and specialized knowledge. Of course, that doesn’t mean we’re going to enjoy any of those too-intelligent characters while waiting for them to relax.

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