Early this year we featured a list of franchises in need of a genre change. The Rambo series was not one of the five selected, but apparently Sylvester Stallone thinks it’s a good idea to take a turn into sci-fi for the fifth installment of the action franchise. This, after the Indiana Jones series took a disappointing leap into alien territory last year. This, despite the fact Moonraker is one of the worst James Bond films.

The funny thing is, it’s difficult to find a straight up action or action/adventure franchise that doesn’t have sci-fi elements anymore. So wouldn’t it be nice to have these few series remain grounded in reality if they started that way? We think so. That’s why we’re going to beat Hollywood to the punch on a few action franchises that have yet to add aliens, monsters or whatever to their world.

The following five premises are completely ridiculous, and that is the point. Hopefully the series’ respective studios will thereby see that it would be a bad idea to do anything of the sort.
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For a movie with no stars and no built-in audience, Neill Blomkatt’s District 9 is buzzing incredibly well. Sure, the Peter Jackson connection may have something to do with the interest and excitement, but I’d bet a lot of the traffic and talk being devoted to the film today is more due to how awesome it looks. And how well it’s being marketed, of course. But with the latest trailer, which arrived online yesterday, heating up the exposure and anticipation so immensely so quickly, could there be room for overkill? I actually don’t think so. This won’t be another disappointment a la Snakes on a Plane or Cloverfield, because it’s a more interesting premise, not just some cheap genre pic with heavy viral promotion.

Maybe I’m just allowing my expectations to get higher than usual, but I’m truly optimistic that this will actually be good. It’s dangerous territory for me to be getting in, and the film and its campaign are probably going to blow up in my face like that “can” of toxic material in the trailer. Oh well, what else do I have to look forward to next month? G.I. Joe? Inglourious Basterds? I gave up on my excitement for both of those long ago, and I want to be surprised by something out of nowhere. Unfortunately, modern movie distribution doesn’t allow for such complete surprises anymore, so this may be the closest thing I’ve got.

Let’s see what kind of buzz or buzzkill the blogs are inciting after the jump:
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July 4th weekend is typically reserved for huge blockbuster releases, particularly those starring Will Smith and/or showcasing America as a force not to be messed with (against aliens or the British). Very, very rarely does an independent release even bother trying to go up against the studios during the big holiday. For example, the only option for an American indie we have this weekend is IFC’s wrong-holidayed I Hate Valentine’s Day, which is uneventfully the second Nia Vardalos movie in a month. And this year we don’t even have the usual sort of event movie debuting on July 4th weekend. There’s just Public Enemies and Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs. Boring.

Isn’t it ironic that independent films can’t open on Independence Day? It would make sense for there to be a number of good U.S.-produced indies opening this week, going up against the big guys with their American spirit (including their disregard for broad, worldwide marketability) and evidence of the American Dream come true. Wondering if there have ever been great independents released at this time of year, we took at look at the last 30 years of cinema and found only a few significant titles.

See what little (American) films bucked the 4th of July weekend release system after the jump:
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It’s an appropriate week for Universal to announce they’re making an adaptation of the classic Atari game Asteroids, because chances are the thing will end up opening on a 4th of July weekend. Just like Independence Day and Armageddon. Actually, as far as I can tell a movie of that arcade game could very well be a sequel to Armageddon. Except that Universal won the four-studio bidding war, and Disney did not (I’m unsure if Disney was even one of the bidders, which also included Fox and Sony). But Disney should go ahead with Armageddon 2 anyway in order to give us another summer like that of ‘98. DreamWorks can also get in the game with a Deep Impact sequel, but it’d probably have to be distributed by Disney, so that might be an issue.

I have to concentrate on when this thing will be, because focusing on what this thing will be is futile. And that’s the primary reaction to the news today: what the hell will an Asteroids movie be about that will fill up a feature-length running time? And why did four studios fight over such a simple property? Check out some of these reactions from the film blogs after the jump:

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• Bad weather is being blamed for weak box office results this weekend from new wide releases Yes Man, Seven Pounds and The Tale of Despereaux, all of which performed worse than expected. Because there’s no other reason why moviegoers would just choose to avoid seeing lame-looking movies from Jim Carrey, Will Smith and Universal’s animation department. It is actually sad for Smith, who hasn’t seen an opening this bad since 2001’s Ali. And Seven Pounds marks only his third film to debut with less than $20 million since his blockbuster breakthrough in Independence Day.
• Apparently snow couldn’t stop The Wrestler from achieving a screen average of more than $52,000 over the weekend. But isn’t that just because people in NYC don’t have to drive to the movies? Fox Searchlight’s other film, Slumdog Millionaire, finally broke the Top 10 after expanding to 589 screens. And although Searchlight’s stellar buzz team claims the Oscar-contender was “selling out everywhere,” its own average was actually embarrassingly below that of Seven Pounds.
• We’re going to need a modern day Edward Arnold if Bernard Madoff-types are going to be the hot villain for ‘09.
• You know your comic book publisher didn’t get the best production deal when it announces that its first adaptation stars Kevin Sorbo. Meanwhile, you know you’re experienceing a slow news day when that’s one of four stories worth bulletpointing.

Thanks to Barack Obama, you’ve possibly had enough inspirational speeches for one year. But if not, go see Milk, and also watch this video, which splices together bits from 40 films including obvious choices like Independence Day, Patton, Braveheart, Mr. Smith Goes to Washington and Animal House, as well as surprise additions like Newsies, Swingers and Galaxy Quest. The montage had me at the 7 second mark due to an appearance from Fozzie and friends (from The Great Muppet Caper), but it goes on longer than 2 minutes.

This is not just some compilation of cinema’s greatest inspirational speeches, though; it’s a well-edited stitching of words that come together as one long speech, the most perfect inspirational speech ever. Even Obama could learn a thing from this video from YouTube genius Matthew Belinkie (he also gave us “The Dark Bailout”), especially if the president-elect finds himself at the center of an alien invasion, a war with England or in a roomful of Muppets at the Happiness Hotel.

Check out “40 Inspirational Speeches in 2 Minutes” after the jump.

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Before you go to the polls today, you need to understand where the candidates stand on the really big issues. No, I don’t mean silly stuff like the economy. I mean the issues that threaten to plunge the world into an era of scorched, apocalyptic savagery. Sure, an ongoing war in the Middle East and gradual climate change are kind of scary, but how will Obama and McCain respond to the threats that can wipe out 99% of humanity overnight? These are dire times, and doomsday cinema has made one thing clear: this will probably be our last president before Armageddon sweeps from sea to shining see, so we’d better choose wisely.

After the jump we look at where the candidates stand on the issues, from Alien Invasion to Zombie Plague.

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Earlier this week, I recommended 10 movies for Democrats to watch. So, to balance things out and hopefully show a lack of bias, I’ve now selected 10 recommendations for Republicans, too. This was actually the more difficult task, because there are so many classic films that display conservative values — and in the 1980s alone, I think there were about a billion films promoting relatively right-wing lifestyles and ideas. Therefore, I’ve limited my picks to the last two decades, except for one underrated gem that left me with quite an impression as a boy.

• The Dark Knight (2008)
  Some said Batman is Bush, others said Cheney, but either way this past summer’s superhero blockbuster resonated with certain conservatives who saw the film as something of an argument about — if not apology for — the actions of the current administration. Similarly, this summer’s Hancock and Iron Man have been read as being particularly relative to Republican politics.
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In response to Karina’s post from yesterday about plot songs, I feel it is necessary and timely to pay tribute today to the best plot song writer since Huey Lewis: Will Smith. From the ’80s on, Smith has provided the world with songs serving as storytelling supplements to his TV show, his movies and even other people’s movies. At times he has even prematurely released songs that could later be applied to movies for which he failed to attach an official plot song. Uh huh.

To get us started, here’s one for Hancock. It’s a song released three years ago, but it’s much more relevant now:

“Here He Comes” for Hancock

The above video is the closest thing I can find to a video for the song, which applies to Smith’s latest movie in three ways. (1) The title is close to the former title of the movie, “Tonight He Comes.” (2) It samples the theme to the Spider-Man TV series, fitting it in with the superhero plot. (3) It works as a big defense against all of the naysayers thinking he’s finally struck out with Hancock.

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You might have heard something about this over the Fourth and wondered if maybe all those hot dogs had caused you to, like, slip into a nightmare fugue state, but it’s actually true: HBO and New Line have convinced all four original cast members to return for a Sex and the City feature film. Series exec producer Michael Patrick King will direct his own script. Send your best “Get it? They’re OLD!” jokes to karina AT spout.com.

MGM will debut the feature A Dog’s Breakfast, starring Stargate SG-1’s David Hewlett, on iTunes and Amazon’s Unbox. The film was apparently set for a straight-to-DVD release, before an outpouring of fan support for a YouTube trailer convinced the studio to give the online release a try.

At a press conference in Italy, Spike Lee spits out two not-particularly-incendiary sentences about the lack of representation of black soldiers in Hollywood war films; Variety runs the write-up with the headline, “Spike Lee Attacks Hollywood Films.” A clever attempt to enrage the “Hollywood has been trashing American values since the death of John Wayne” crowd right in time for Independence Day, but it looks like Libertas didn’t bite.

Your intrepid SpoutBlogger will be back tomorrow. In the meantime, celebrate America’s independence by watching Kenneth Anger’s Fireworks, embedded above.