Elizabeth Wurtzel (yes, that Elizabeth Wurtzel) recently published a Wall Street Journal editorial entitled The Internet is Killing American Movies and Music, the point of which seems to be –– an emphasis on the seems –– wrapped up in its final couple of sentences.

After boldly making the case that Pete Yorn should be more famous than he is, Wurtzel bitches for a bit about how downloading has decreased not just the profitability but the intrinsic value of music and movies as compared to the fine, object-oriented arts like painting and sculpture. Implying the falsehood that movies and pop music are more inherently American than these mediums because “We’ll never overwhelm the planet with brushes and clay and pencils the way we did with celluloid and vinyl and acetate,” Wurtzel ultimately directly connects the health of America’s cultural exports to our national identity and international standing:

Our movies and music are America. And the day the music dies, the party’s over.

Scary stuff, huh? I won’t reiterate the arguments made by Idolator in regards to the dated nature of Wurtzel’s references and statistics, but from my perspective, the piece reads like it was written by someone who hasn’t even seen a movie since long before Pete Yorn had his career peak of just barely cracking the Billboard Top 20 (for the record: that happened in 2003).

The only recent film reference in the story is a jab at “crazy Harry Potter fans” for showing the kind of enthusiasm that Wurtzel laments is found in short supply since “the days when lines formed around the block at New York’s Ziegfeld Theater because the latest installment of Star Wars had opened.” Though Wurtzel laments a de-emphasis on “talent” in pop music, she has not a single qualitative statement to make about a single contemporary film––she’s simply concerned that studios are making more money off their back catalogs than new releases, and that foreign territories “have found they favor the locally produced fare over yet another sequel to Rush Hour.” Which is maybe not the best example, considering that Rush Hour 3 made $114 million internationally––just $6 million less than its predecessor-–while the third film’s domestic gross was a full $86 million short (!) of Rush Hour 2’s $226 million. In terms of sustaining “favor” through serialization, this is one franchise with exponentially greater staying power overseas.

Also: neither of those points about the film industry, even if backed up with examples that were true, would have much to do with downloading. Also: there’s no mention of how legal downloading and streaming of media––although she does bash iPhone owners for their love of the gadget, without noting that one of its big plusses is its ability to carry legally acquired movies and music. Also: Has she heard of The Dark Knight?

There are valid arguments that could be made regarding the relationship between the export of American popular culture and our political status as a superpower. It’s just that Wurtzel makes none of them.

So, you hear about this iPhone thing? It’s, like, a big deal! We knew there would be lines; we assumed there’d be, at the very least, a Twitter outage. But apparently today’s impatient early adopters are finding that they can pay their $199, but they can’t use their new gadget thanks to an Apple network error––the dreaded 9838.

But we already learned this week that some economic problems are apparently nothing but neuroses––and suggestions otherwise are apparently bait for nonsensical James Bond references as comeback. So it’s not inconceivable that maybe 9838 is a manifestation of the psychological torment and guilt shared, at least on a subconscious level, by the energy-conscious, generally politically correct consumer class who, in spite of anti-corporate, anti-waste lip service, can’t stop themselves from placing of hundreds of dollars on the feeder bar and pressing down hard every time Apple release a new slice of fake plastic happiness. Or, as Anil Dash puts it in the Twitter above, you can’t go around saying that Wall-E has the power to change the wicked ways of the world if you’re not willing to let that change begin with you.

Semi-related: If you do get your new iPhone to work (and/or have an old one), Paul Harrill has rounded up a list of relevant iPhone apps for filmmakers.

You might have seen the above video by now––it’s been making the rounds all weekend. Someone took a couple of clips from the Inland Empire DVD, of David Lynch railing against the watching of films on cell phones, and set it to the familiar music from Apple commercials. “It’s such a sadness, that you think you’ve seen a film on your fucking telephone!” he cries. “Get real!” Cue the iPhone logo. The End. Cute, right? Harmless.

Not exactly. Kent Nichols, co-creator of the mega-popular web series Ask a Ninja, has written a blog post in response to the clip, titled “David Lynch is a tool.” “Look David Lynch,” Nichols writes. “I respect that you’ve made a career by confusing people and by pretending to be smarter than them.” But…

…you’re getting to be a cranky old man. If someone wants to pay you to watch your weird little films on a cell phone or a DVD or a flipbook, just smile and take the money. Short of inviting every potential viewer to sit and watch it in your personal viewing chamber, there is no “ideal” viewing experience.

There’s just content and people. People want the content, we give it to them.

Though Nichols goes on to concede that “some stuff works better in the cinematic environment,” he concludes by saying that if a filmmaker wants to reach the masses, “You just need to create visuals that will play well on a 320×240 window. If you’re doing anything else, you’re being a cranky old artist.”

…Read more

Variety had a blurb over the weekend about Trailers From Hell. The site, recently lauched by producer Elizabeth Stanley, invites genre directors (known on the site as “grindhouse gurus”) to record commentary over trailers of their favorite B-movies of yore. The trailers can be watched with or without commentary, on the site or on the “Fun Little Movies” channel on Sprint cellphones and on the iPhone.

So far, the content on Trailers From Hell looks great. They’re spectacular trailers, they’re three-minute hyper-speed Hollywood history lessons, they’re dish-fests. Mick Garris disses Robert Zemeckis for his over-indulgent shooting methods; Shaun of the Dead director Edgar Wright wonders how anyone could find “Austin Powers that funny when something like Danger: Diabolique is the real deal, and is for my money as funny as Austin Powers.”

Five trailers are available on the site now, with five more in the works. I’ll definitely check back to see what Mary Lambert has to say about Village of the Damned.