While everyone in the world is dreading the remake of The Karate Kid, I have learned new information today that has me at least a little excited: the redo will retain the original title, despite the fact that it will be set in China and involve kung fu, not karate. Why is this exciting? Because it reminds me of my favorite bad movie, Bob Clark’s The Karate Dog, of course (check out this clip for martial arts insanity featuring a talking pooch and Oscar-winning actor Jon Voight). Despite the title of that atrocious family film, the canine protagonist was a master of kung fu.
Okay, so the news that the remake won’t actually be titled Kung Fu Kidisn’t really that cool. In fact, it’s annoying and potentially racist. But if Will Smith, as producer, can slip in some sort of reference to that other mistakenly titled movie, either by casting Voight or (please, please, please) giving Jackie Chan’s Mr. Miyagi Mr. Han a pet named Cho-Cho (with or without the voice of Chevy Chase), I might actually decide to see it. At least on YouTube, anyway, which is the only place I’ve watched scenes from Karate Dog.
In case you’re interested in anything pertaining to this Karate Kid remake — instead of seeking out more Karate Dog clips, that is — Clint Morris at Moviehole shares the exclusive synopsis details today. And reactions (i.e. complaints) from the blogosphere can be found after the jump:
I’m not down with hockey movies, and I’m definitely not down with movies in which animals play sports, yet somehow I’m a huge fan of this video. And all it is is bears playing hockey.
Maybe it’s because, unlike most hockey movies, I don’t need to actually worry about the game or the plot. I just need to become hypnotized by giant bears skating around on ice and hitting a puck with a hockey stick. Maybe the puck goes into a goal, maybe not, I don’t care. Maybe there’s a ragtag, underdog team on that ice, maybe not, I don’t care. There’s no dialogue, voiceover or narration of any kind, no attacking and killing the referee as if he were Grizzly Man’s Timothy Treadwell, just the calming visuals of a hockey game played by bears.
And apparently those are real bears really playing hockey, which is what makes it better than most animals-playing-sports movies. A lot of those feature real dogs or whatever, but special effects are typically employed when it comes to the animals’ seeming athletic ability. That dog in Air Budis not really playing basketball. And that dog from Karate Dogis not really doing kung fu. And he’s definitely not doing karate, either, for that matter. Put 90 minutes of this on the big screen and I’ll go see it, because it’s genuine and it’s amazing.
Seriously, this is almost as enjoyable as that popular live puppy cam. If only this were perpetual, too.
When I first saw the trailer for Wanted, I figured it was just another Matrixripoff. And I’m sure there are many other people who thought the same thing. Of course, some Matrix ripoffs aren’t bad — I absolutely love Kurt Wimmer’s Equilibrium, for example — but most are. Even worse, though, are the parodies of the Matrix’s “bullet time” sequences. Do we really need to see another movie character bend over backwards to avoid a bullet (or milk)? Or another movie character suspended in motion while the camera tracks around him or her?
It’s no wonder that until yesterday, I had pretty much dismissed Wanted, because of that Matrix-like bullet time sequence in which Morgan Freeman shoots around a slab of meat to hit an unseen target. Yet as of yesterday, the movie’s Rotten Tomatoes rating was 100% (Anthony Lane’s New Yorker review, posted today, is the first “rotten” one, taking it down to 92%). Now I’m more intrigued. Still, it doesn’t change the fact that that bullet time sequence is there, reminding me of the worst that The Matrix has inspired in the past decade. To remind you, too, I’ve compiled a bunch of clips that should provide you with similar doubt.
Back in February, I was almost completely against Kung Fu Panda, the latest from DreamWorks Animation, which opens in theaters tomorrow. And while I’m still not too interested in seeing it, I’ve grown a little more appreciation for Jack Black than I had while writing my review of the trailer. Yeah, he actually made me laugh in that brilliantTropic Thunder viral video made for the MTV Movie Awards.
Plus, I have to give Kung Fu Panda credit for not being as bad as Karate Dog, a 2004 made-for-TV movie from Bob Clark (A Christmas Story) featuring a talking dog voiced by Chevy Chase and a campy villain played by Oscar-winner Jon Voight. Think it couldn’t be that bad? Check out the fight sequence above. And then check out the trailer, which exposes the ripping off of a classic WB ‘toon (One Froggy Evening) and a classic French play (Cyrano de Bergerac).
Its worst offense, though, is its title. Talk about racism, or at least Orientalism, or simply lazy Hollywood ignorance. Despite being set in Chinatown and having a dog that practices the Chinese martial art of Kung Fu, they went with a title that refers to the Japanese martial art of Karate, which has nothing to do with the movie. But I guess it sounds like The Karate Kid, so it made sense to whomever was in charge.
We’ve had a bit of trouble getting this episode to go through the iTunes feed, so we hope this re-post will fix the problem. The original post, with episode description and embedded player, is here.
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While everyone in the world is dreading the remake of 
