We’re starting to hear some positive buzz about G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra. Apparently it doesn’t rape or ruin your childhood; rather, it may make you feel like a kid again. This is what a toy/cartoon adaptation should do, we guess, but we still wish they’d made a Reagan-era-style war movie instead of a CG-heavy action blockbuster with too much comic relief. Because even when we were little we knew the property was a young person’s version of the conservative, Cold War-informed military pictures of the 1980s. And if Rambo could get his own Saturday morning animated series, why couldn’t we get a hard-R-rated G.I. Joe after all these years?
We know the answer to that question, but that doesn’t change the fact that we’re disappointed. See, while others might feel GIJTROC has ruined their childhood by being too unfaithful to the action figures and show, we feel it’s ruined our childhood because it isn’t the movie we dreamed of. So that’s how the following list of films was selected. Instead of going for all the obvious remakes and video game adaptations (we’ve never cared about games), we’re focusing on movies that really turned our beloved films, comics and cartoons of our youth into something we’re now almost embarrassed to ever admit we enjoyed.
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UPDATE 4/22 9:57 AM: We’ve been asked to remove the photo of Dennis Quaid in his G.I. Joe costume which originally accompanied this post.
Is it just me, or does Dennis Quaid look completely out of place in his G.I. Joe costume? It appears that he’s unsure of himself, too. It’s like they took a photo of him while he was saying, “are you guys sure this looks cool?” Fortunately, he can now receive the answer: no, Dennis, it doesn’t. But it’s fine, because most of the internerds are too busy drooling over the Rachel Nichols “Scarlett” images to pay much attention.
Plus, the four shots of Quaid as “General Hawk” (none of which make him look any cooler than the one to the right), are, along with the rest of the ton of G.I. Joe cast photos, being taken down all over the place. But for now you can still find the pics, which include Quaid, Nichols, Channing Tatum (”Duke”), Karolina Korkova (”Cover Girl”), Marlon Wayans (”Ripcord”), Byung-hun Lee (”Storm Shadow”), Sienna Miller (”The Baroness”) and Ray Park (”Snake Eyes”) over at What Would Tyler Durden Do?
The site is claiming an exclusive on the pics, which may explain Paramount’s request of removal elsewhere, but something tells me they might just have been leaked. Check them out while you can, just in case.
