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Six Video Games That Could Be Adapted Into Movies More Depressing Than Revolutionary Road

Six Video Games That Could Be Adapted Into Movies More Depressing Than Revolutionary Road

Kevin Kelly
By Kevin Kelly posted 11 months ago
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Revolutionary Road: The Game - ARGUE with your spouse! FIGHT OFF suburban depression! MANAGE to stay alive despite a looming calendar full of inane dates and a pointless existence!

The holidays are all about sales at the mall, what the ratio of whiskey to nog is in your egg nog, and how depressing everything is. Luckily, Hollywood is well aware of this and provides cinematic accompaniment to go along with the holiday blues. Kate and Leo’s reunion movie Revolutionary Road is a perfect example; critics are hailing it as one of the most depressing way to spend a few hours since all of your old high school nemeses appeared on Facebook.

Since most people don’t consider playing a depressing game to be fun, it’s no wonder that the video game industry hasn’t churned out a lot of melancholy games. There’s no Schindler’s List: The Game, or The English Patient: Nintendo Wii Version. Sure, there have been plenty of games that were depressing because they were bad, but not many in the “depressing on purpose” category. However, a few have squeaked by that would make extremely depressing movies. Here’s a list for your enjoyment.

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Foxy Box Office. Trade Roughage 10/20/08

Christopher Campbell
By Christopher Campbell posted 1 year ago
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  • Fox was the bread in a Chihuahua sandwich this weekend, as estimates place the studio’s two new releases at #1 and #3 on the box office chart. 20th Century Fox’s Max Payne made $18 million while Fox Searchlight’s The Secret Life of Bees earned just over $11 million, which was very, very close to Beverly Hills Chihuahua’s second-placing $11.2 million. Coming in fourth place, which in terms of the sandwich metaphor makes it a pickle, was Oliver Stone’s W. with a close $10.6 million. The discarded turkey, meanwhile, was Sex Drive, which placed ninth with only $3.6 million.
  • Not enough of a turkey, however, that the Sex Drive writing-directing team of John Morris and Sean Anders couldn’t make a deal for their next project, a college comedy about an accidental father.
  • Citing creative differences, Hugh Grant has exited the movie biz-set romantic comedy Lost for Words, which would have seen him play opposite Ziyi Zhang as an actor who falls for his director despite a language barrier. Now hopes of a life-imitates-art romance between Grant and Danish director Susanne Bier have been shattered.
  • Killer Films is producing a movie involving the 1944 meeting of Beat poets Allen Ginsberg, William S. Burroughs and Jack Keroac. Too bad David Cross, who hilariously portrayed Ginsberg in Killer’s I’m Not There is probably too old to reprise the role.
  • I’m still waiting for the day a remake of Troop Beverly Hills is announced, but for now the similar-sounding Tough Cookies will just have to suffice. The family film will be about a deadbeat dad who leads an unconventional group of girl scouts, who compete against snobbish rivals at the National Scout Rally.

Dueling Space Odysseys. Trade Roughage 10/17/08

Christopher Campbell
By Christopher Campbell posted 1 year ago
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  • Brad Pitt will produce and may star in an outer space version of The Odyssey for Warner Bros., and the studio is looking to sign George Miller as director. It is indeed an interesting project for Pitt since he also starred in Troy, which was kind of an adaptation of Homer’s The Iliad. But even more interesting is the fact that this isn’t the first Odyssey in space movie announced this week. On Monday, Ridley Scott described his next project as “The Odyssey by way of Blade Runner.”
  • Pitt may also play Oakland A’s general manager Billy Beane (labeled one of the “New Einsteins” in the latest Mental_Floss) in an adaptation of the nonfiction book Moneyball: The Art of Winning an Unfair Game from screenwriter Steve Zaillian (American Gangster) and director David Frankel (The Devil Wears Prada).
  • Star Wars geek Kevin Smith is at last making his own sci-fi movie, a father-son comedy set in outer space that “will reference other sci-fi movies.” Hopefully it will be as good as Spaceballs and Galaxy Quest, but looking at both the history of sci-fi comedies and the Bluntman and Chronic stuff at the end of Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back leaves me thinking it will be more 2001: A Space Travesty.
  • It’s that time of the year when studios decide if their Oscar hopefuls are ready or not. Dimension is currently weighing the possibility of The Road being pushed to 2009, and now Paramount has announced that expected contender The Soloist won’t be released until March while Defiance will barely make the calendar cut with a limited drop on December 31.
  • On this crowded news day, here are some other notable bits: David Bergstein is consolodating several companies, including THINKfilm and Capitol Films, for a new venture headed by former New Line exec David Tuckerman;  F. Gary Gray replaces Frank Darabont as director of Law-Abiding Citizen; Bourne 4 moves ahead with a screenwriter; Max Payne is expected to be #1 at the box office this weekend, unless of course some figures from Florida are miscounted permitting Oliver Stone’s W. to win the top spot.

Max Payne: Insert “Payneful” Pun Here

Kevin Kelly
By Kevin Kelly posted 1 year ago
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Mark Wahlberg and Mila Kunis in Max Payne

Max Payne had a fairly complex plot for a video game. Detective Max Payne comes home one day and finds junkies in his home, and kills a couple of them before discovering that they’ve murdered his wife and infant child. He decides to transfer to the DEA as a result, and later discovers that there is a link between the pharmaceutical company his wife used to work for, the junkies, the mafia, and dirty DEA agents. The game was also infamous for featuring scenes inside Max’s head: there’s the constant sound of a baby crying, and you have to walk along a blood trail on the ground suspended over a dark void. If you fall off, Max fully loses it, goes nuts, and dies. To this day the “baby levels” are still used as examples of nightmare-inducing bad game design.

The Mark Wahlberg-starring movie, which opens today, tries to simplify the plot, and ends up differing from the game quite a bit. However, those changes are for the worse. What was a dark and gritty video game full of gunplay becomes a stylistic mess where the director tries to imitate other movies.

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Twilight Suddenly Looks Awesome. Clip of the Day

Christopher Campbell
By Christopher Campbell posted 1 year ago
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I knew from the recent Hollywood Reporter feature on Twilight that Summit Entertainment planned to release a new trailer more geared toward a male audience, but I never would have guessed they’d do such a damn good job of it. I’ve been hating on this movie from the beginning, but now part of me is actually thinking I’d like to see it. And I bet a lot of teenage boys will be thinking the same, only more so.

This is pure genius marketing, and it would have been in Summit’s favor to have gone this route all along. What with superheroes so huge right now, why hadn’t they already tried to sell this thing as being like a comic book movie rather than a sappy adaptation of goth chick lit? Wasn’t that bit of dialogue referencing Spider-Man and Superman in the film the whole time? Such a line needs to be exploited, and it’s a shame the fledgling studio took so long to employ it. This trailer is seriously what Summit should have shown at Comic-Con.

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Fallout Movie: The Dream Cast

Fallout Movie: The Dream Cast

Kevin Buist
By Kevin Buist posted 1 year ago
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On October 28 the world will plunge into an irradiated nightmare, littered with the wreckage of civilization, overrun by savage super mutants. Or, my world will be, anyway. Next month is when the hotly anticipated new video game Fallout 3 will be released. It’s been over a decade since the first Fallout, a now classic post-apocalyptic role-playing game. How has the franchise maintained such a devoted fan base? Simple: great story, great characters, great setting, and killer cinematics.

The games have always been deeply indebted to post-apocalyptic cinema. The opening sequence of the first game is almost identical to the one in The Road Warrior, and the similarities don’t end there. As the Max Payne movie is (hopefully) about to prove, there is an elegant solution to the problem of video game movies sucking: make movies about games that are already steeped in cinematic influence. In other words, a Fallout movie would kick serious ass. It would have a similar feel to classics like The Road Warrior, but Fallout has its own brand of dark humor and retro-futurism.

After the jump, I take a crack at assembling a dream cast for such a film. I’m going to stick to characters from the first game, where it all began. Chime in with your own picks in the comments.

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Comic-Con Diary: Where the Girls Are

Karina Longworth
By Karina Longworth posted 1 year ago
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When I first went to Comic-Con, almost a decade ago, it was purely as a girlfriend. My then-love interest and I had gone to our respective home towns for the summer, and one day he called and asked for my measurements––he was making me an Uhura dress.

I understood then that part of my job at Comic-Con was partially to avoid saying anything too cynical or aggressive to his friends from back home (including the girlfriend of his best friend, who went every year in full Slave Leia regalia). But mainly, my job was to look good. I was young, and I went along with it because I was flattered that anyone would actually want to put me on display. Still, I wasn’t exactly looking forward to it, and if memory serves, I wasn’t very good at it. I am a girl of varied talents, but that summer I learned that being passive, high-concept arm candy doesn’t make use of any of them.

Which is not to say that I had a terrible time; when we got to San Diego, I ditched the boyfriend and found my own niche. I remember there being a fair number of a girlfriends, floating around at various levels of excitement or reluctance, but there were also women who were there because they were active members of one of the communities represented, either as educated consumers or as makers, or both, and across generations, they seemed to be talking to one another. My memory could be fuzzy, but I don’t remember a single booth babe. I do remember a lot of preteens in Sailor Moon suits, but that’s another matter.

But blah, blah, blah — times change. From 2000 to 2007, Comic-Con attendance tripled. Studios started to swoop in in earnest around 2001, after X-Men and the ascendancy of sites like Ain’t it Cool taught them the power of the permanent adolescent male market. As long as we’re on the subject of adolescence, if my experience at Comic-Con 2008 is any indication, the options for young girls here have, on the surface, become quite a bit more varied than the either/or between mannequin and active consumer/producer; at the same time, most of these new options seem to amount to little more than one side of that old binary split.

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Comic-Con 2008: The Day the Earth Stood Still, Max Payne, Wolverine

Karina Longworth
By Karina Longworth posted 1 year ago
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FOX Studio really does it up at Comic-Con 2008 with Keanu, Jennifer Connelly (The Day the Earth Stood Still) Mark Wahlberg, Ludacris (Max Payne) and a surprise appearance by Hugh Jackman with footage “from his bag” of Wolverine.

Highlights:

- Surprise preview reel of Wolverine joins previews of The Day the Earth Stood Still and Max Payne.

- TDESS should really piss of conservatives with it’s heavy human vs. environment condemnation.

- Mark Wahlberg speaks Russian? (Of course, girls love it)

- Max Payne looks like “The Departed with 1,000 times more violence.”

- Wolverine will cut Liev Schreiber’s “goddam head off.”

Read the full liveblogging transcript below.
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