A man was arrested in London last week for imitating James Bond. He wasn’t going around and ordering vodka martinis though, he had numerous fake IDs, replica guns, and even a personalized wallet styled after From Russia With Love. That’s dedication right there. We’ve had James Bond imitators in the movies for more than 40 years, but sadly none of them have ever been arrested. Although thankfully, a few of them have been entertaining. Check out the James Bond knockoffs in the list below, as we ramp up towards Quantum of Solace.

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Yesterday’s list dealt with Tom Cruise’s performance in Tropic Thunder. Today, a response to Robert Downey Jr.’s role in the same film as a white actor portraying a black soldier in a war movie (seen in the above clip). Doesn’t it seem such an original and shocking idea? I guess not if you see it as an update on blackface. Fortunately, it’s different when it’s an actor playing a character who makes himself up to look black. It’s funny. But isn’t it typically more acceptable when the make-up isn’t quite as authentic-looking as Downey’s? He actually looks black. Specifically, he looks like Fred Williamson.

I’ve seen plenty of lists detailing the worst instances of one race or nationality playing characters of another race/nationality (John Wayne and Susan Hayward in The Conqueror comes to mind as #1), but I can’t recall any lists involving actors playing characters disguised as or playing another race. So here’s one:

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I keep forgetting that Mike Myers is not actually playing an Indian in The Love Guru, and yet I’m constantly reminded by the film’s commercials, which show that ridiculous shot of a little kid’s body with Myers’ giant head digitally superimposed onto it. Really, Myers’ character (Pitka) is a white American who is left on the doorstep of an Indian ashram when he’s a child. Then he’s raised as Indian, I guess (or simply Hindu, but then why the accent?).

Apparently the character, Pitka, couldn’t simply look and talk like Myers. He had to have that silly accent and the clothes and the facial hair, despite the fact that Deepak Chopra, who partially inspired the character (and who appears in the movie), is able to wear jeans and be clean-shaven. Because who would believe Myers as an Indian guru with just the voice, the clothes and his baby face?

Of course, Myers is not the first actor to wear or grow a beard and/or mustache in order to take on the guise of another ethnicity. Sure, it’s also the accent and the makeup that transforms the actor, but with the most recognizable faces, it’s the facial hair that really seals the deal for supposed authenticity.

1. Charlton Heston as Mexican in Touch of Evil (pictured above) - Maybe if Heston could maintain the accent he wouldn’t have needed the mustache. But then in photos he still would have just looked like regular old Heston. With the whiskers, however, he looks like regular old Heston with a mustache. If this look defined a man as Mexican, then many characters from the ’30s must have been Mexican. Rhett Butler? Mexican. Nick Charles (and anyone else played by William Powell)? Mexican.
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The best time for a Get Smart movie would have been the late ’60s, when the original television series was still on the air. In fact, there was a theatrical Get Smart film in the works during the run of the show, but it was canceled when the theatrical release of Munster, Go Home! bombed at the box office. Many years later, in 1980, a Get Smart feature titled The Nude Bomb was released to theaters, but it also performed poorly.

Now we’re getting a remake version starring Steve Carell in the role that was so iconically defined by the late Don Adams. Will it do the show justice? Reportedly the budget was $80 million, a significant amount of which was probably put towards pointless effects. But the best thing Warner Bros. could have done with that money is to give a large amount to series creators Mel Brooks and Buck Henry, who probably even today could churn out a better script than Failure to Launch scribes Tom J. Astle and Matt Ember.

Despite its lack of original Get Smart talent, though, it could still be marginally funny. Yet the real problem is that it may be too outdated and obsolete for audiences to care. In the four decades since the show went off the air, there has been plenty of similar-themed movies, from spy spoofs to films with bumbling heroes. The following ten titles are the best evidence of why this new Get Smart movie is completely unnecessary:

1. Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery - It’s interesting that Get Smart is going up against a Mike Myers movie this weekend, because in a way it’s also going up against Myers’ Austin Powers movies, as well. Sure, spy parodies have been around in spades since around the time of the first James Bond movie, but nothing has been as popular as this series, which of course includes the much bigger-grossing sequels, Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me and Austin Powers in Goldmember.
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• Questions: Why are both The Love Guru and Get Smart––broad comedies that should have mainstream appeal, if they actually appeal to anyone––opening on the same day, and how is the competition going to impact each film’s box office? Answers: either because Paramount locked in a bunch of promo deals for The Love Guru before realizing how much wider Get Smart was tracking, or because Mike Myers didn’t want to change the release date; and badly.
• First Run Pictures has picked up film critic Godfrey Cheshire’s personal documentary, Moving Midway. The film, through which Cheshire examines race relations and his own family’s plantation, will open in New York and then make the unusual move of going straight to a platform release in the South.
• What Just Happened?, which just got its U.S. release date via Magnolia, will open the Karlovy Vary Film Festival on July 4.

• Oh, the sad irony: the Universal Studios fire, which destroyed the New York Street section of the backlot, was “caused by sparks from a blowtorch used to repair” that set. The theme park tram tour continued as scheduled yesterday, with visitors able to see the damaged facades (which will be rebuilt) up close.
• Brad Pitt is “part of a team of consultants designing an 800-room, five-star hotel” in Dubai. “You can expect something that is not only stunning to look at but will also be an incredible attraction to visit or stay at,” Pitt promised in a statement. Or, somebody did––I can’t imagine that sentence coming out of Brad Pitt’s mouth.
• Deepak Chopra says Hindus shouldn’t be mad about Mike Myers’ The Love Guru. This is the first I’ve heard about Hindus being mad about The Love Guru. Did this happen while I was in Cannes, or is the noise level on Love Guru news really that low?

• A bunch of actors (including Natalie Portman, Ethan Hawke, Hayden Christensen, and Olivia Thirlby, aka The Other Broad From Juno) will direct segments of the omnibus feature, New York, I Love You.
• As part of a gambit to make the kids aware of The Love Guru, his first movie in roughly forty years, Mike Myers will host the MTV Movie Awards.
• The Weinsten Company has purchased All Good Things, the debut fiction feature from Capturing the Friedmans director Andrew Jarecki, which begins filming this month.

The first half of this week saw a drought as far as new trailers are concerned. But when it rains it pours, and by the end of day Thursday the internet had received a relative monsoon of debuts, including the now-official release of the Sex and the City trailer, which Karina prematurely peeked at last Friday, and another awesome ad for Iron Man.

But the truly noteworthy trailers had to be those for three eagerly anticipated comedies, two of which we are seeing for the first time. First, there’s The Love Guru, which stars Mike Myers as his first originally created comedic character in more than ten years. Unfortunately, it kind of makes me wish he would just keep making Austin Powers movies. Maybe I just don’t get it, and maybe I should just accept that a Myers comedy is less about it and more about him. But it doesn’t look that funny. And I’m a person who can appreciate the making fun of Extreme and the parodying of Bollywood and the ridiculing of little people.

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