The first official press screenings for Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull aren’t for another ten days, but as long as Aint It Cool News exists, you can count on early reactions from the amateur critics. One such person, going by the alias “ShogunMaster,” has a spoiler-filled review that is unfortunately quite negative. Claiming it lacks tension, employs extremely fake-looking props and sets, and features a “horrible” performance from Shia “LaBeef”, the reviewer at least puts some of it into perspective:

Anyway, I don’t want to rant on forever, as it doesn’t matter what I say, you will see this movie regardless. And even though it’s not as bad as Allan Quartermane, it’s definitely not a good Indy Movie. But for those of you that feel that the new Star Wars Movies robbed your childhood, expect some molestations from Uncles’ George and Steven…

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