I initially planned to write an Antichrist-inspired list of most misogynistic movies ever made. But after some minor research, I decided that as a man, even one who has studied feminist film theory, I’m not the best judge of what titles to choose. Besides, I figure there are already enough places on the web where we can debate whether or not Neil LaBute and Lars von Trier are misogynistic filmmakers or if they are in fact the opposite.
I could have instead attempted a list of movies that are misandric, but I don’t think hatred towards men is equally as off-putting to male viewers as misogyny is to women. So, here’s something slightly similar, also inspired by Antichrist (particularly a disturbing genital-mutilation scene in the film), because there’s certainly nothing more difficult for men to watch than scenes in which male sex organs are harmed.
Of course, cinema has been hurting guys’ balls for laughs throughout the existence of motion pictures. And plenty of action and horror flicks depict castration by shotgun, knife, van door and other means on a regular basis. Therefore, I’ve gone specifically with these six sex scenes, since they add to the pain by first teasing pleasure. But no, masochistic delight is nowhere to be found in any of these hard-to-watch movie moments.
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September is often used as a dumping ground for movies, but this year it also appears to be a dumping ground for once-great or once-promising talents who’ve lost their way. I’ve taken note of at least 10 individuals (actors, actresses and a couple filmmakers) who have new films out this month (I’m counting the Labor Day weekend, too) who are due for a visit from the Ghost of Movies Past.
More specifically, these people need to backtrack to the ‘90s, which is when most of them did their last truly great work. Perhaps they need to take a look at that earlier work and remember what it was they used to do. Or perhaps they just need to get advice from the Coen brothers, who similarly hit a slump in the new millennium, but who are now back on track with a few more Oscars in hand and a new comedy, Burn After Reading, which looks to be more in line with their ‘90s classic The Big Lebowski than their 2000s missteps Intolerable Cruelty and The Ladykillers.
Nicolas Cage (guilty September 2008 release: Bangkok Dangerous)
It could be argued that Cage made just as many worthless movies in the ‘90s as he has in the ‘00s. Also, considering his box office success with Ghost Rider and the National Treasure movies, plus his excellent Oscar-nominated dual role in Adaptation, it’s debatable that he’s “lost his way.” But it’s clear to me, at least, that he currently lacks any concern for the quality of his work, as evidenced by this month’s Bangkok Dangerous, which makes even Con Air look well crafted by comparison. In the ‘90s, Cage was doing much greater work for Scorsese, Lynch and even Michael Bay, and he won an Oscar for Best Actor, too. Unless he starts caring about the roles he chooses, he’s more likely to one day receive lifetime recognition by the Razzies than a lifetime achievement award from the Academy. Who he needs to work with again to get it back: the Coens; Uncle Francis (Ford Coppola); Scorsese; even Michael Bay would be good.
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