We’re starting to hear some positive buzz about G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra. Apparently it doesn’t rape or ruin your childhood; rather, it may make you feel like a kid again. This is what a toy/cartoon adaptation should do, we guess, but we still wish they’d made a Reagan-era-style war movie instead of a CG-heavy action blockbuster with too much comic relief. Because even when we were little we knew the property was a young person’s version of the conservative, Cold War-informed military pictures of the 1980s. And if Rambo could get his own Saturday morning animated series, why couldn’t we get a hard-R-rated G.I. Joe after all these years?
We know the answer to that question, but that doesn’t change the fact that we’re disappointed. See, while others might feel GIJTROC has ruined their childhood by being too unfaithful to the action figures and show, we feel it’s ruined our childhood because it isn’t the movie we dreamed of. So that’s how the following list of films was selected. Instead of going for all the obvious remakes and video game adaptations (we’ve never cared about games), we’re focusing on movies that really turned our beloved films, comics and cartoons of our youth into something we’re now almost embarrassed to ever admit we enjoyed. …Read more
Did you want to be an astronaut when you grew up? We never did, and we’re actually surprised any kid could have such a dream given the way spacemen are portrayed in the movies. Sure, there are some heroes here and there, but generally filmmakers tend to show us astronauts who are lonely, depressed, confused, self-doubting, jealous, guilt-ridden or otherwise miserable (not to mention they often wind up dead).
Sam Rockwell plays the latest of these unhappy astronauts in Moon, fittingly directed by Duncan Jones, whose father, David Bowie, gave us a somewhat sad song about a man potentially lost in space (“Space Oddity”). As the sole (human) resident of a station on the dark side of the moon, able to communicate with his family only through taped video correspondence, it’s not surprising that Rockwell’s character isn’t a happy camper.
But his mood actually has less to do with his situation than it has to do with film tradition. As much as Moon is garnering rave reviews it is also being lightly criticized for being derivative. And the unhappy astronaut convention is one of the overly familiar elements Jones and screenwriter Nathan Parker employs. To illustrate some of the convention’s history, we’ve selected ten of the unhappiest astronauts ever put on the big screen. …Read more
Last week, Roger Ebert finally got around to destroyingreviewing Ben Stein’s anti-evolution film, Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed. Ebert’s rant is as cerebral as it is merciless, and it’s worth a read even if you haven’t seen the film. He makes some good points about how the film completely misunderstands the concepts of probability and selection, forming flashy but ultimately useless argument.
Ebert’s rage is thinly veiled. He’s obviously upset that clear logical fallacies can go unnoticed by so many people. Sure, misreading Darwin while attempting to refute him is a lame move when engaging in scientific debate, but the practice is quite common when it comes to filmmaking. When movies deal with evolution, there’s an unspoken understanding that they can completely distort the theory beyond recognition. It’s kind of like calling someone a pedophile during a Friar’s Club Roast, everyone knows it isn’t true, and it’s all in good fun.
When you look at it in this way, Expelled is just the latest in a long line of films that distort the theory of evolution to make a buck. Here are 5 more that are guilty of crimes against the origin of humanity:
Is it that odd to imagine a Waterworldmusical on Broadway? After all, Xanadumade it to the big stage, so anything is possible for infamous turkeys like this one. Sure, it looks rather silly in the video below, the way Patrick Warburton and company have made it, but with the right creative team Waterworld could really work as a kitchy cult attraction. Maybe team up two randoms, the way Marvel has with the upcoming Spider-Manshow directed by Julie Taymor and featuring music by Bono. Honestly, there seems to be nothing that Broadway producers could announce that’s any more ridiculous than what’s already been done there.
So, terrible movie-turned-musical ideas may continue to be easy gags, and they’re possibly even going to make me laugh, but ultimately I would like to go see Con Air: The Musical (from 30 Rock) and Planet of the Apes: The Musical (from The Simpsons) and musicals made out of Waterworld, The Postman, Battlefield Earthand especially Ishtar. Who would love you, Mariner? I would.
Check out the commercial for Waterworld: The Musical after the jump.
Everyone is familiar with the major controversy of the 1969 Oscars, but the real problem may not be that Oliver! was named Best Picture over Stanley Kubrick’s 2001: A Space Odyssey, which wasn’t even nominated in that top category. No, the bigger issue may be with Planet of the Apesreceiving a special award for make-up — consider someone associated with that production may have stolen from or attempted to sabotage the ape wardrobe of Kubrick’s film. In a Vulture blog interview with 2001 ape performer and choreographer Dan Richter, the former mime implies something to that affect:
We had stuff stolen. I can’t say it was Planet of the Apes, but they were the only other movie shooting at the same time and same place we were. Stanley and I even had someone steal a mask and some ape hands right out from under our noses on the backlot, where someone had hid in a drainage ditch. We were in lockdown all the time.
In this week’s New York, David Edelstein lists a number of films that significantly represent the Big Apple. Because it’s a celebration of the magazine’s 40th anniversary, though, it only goes back as far as 1968 (the year of Planet of the Apes and Rosemary’s Baby). So, tragically no timely mention of The Naked City, which lost both its director and star recently.
We’ve had a bit of trouble getting this episode to go through the iTunes feed, so we hope this re-post will fix the problem. The original post, with episode description and embedded player, is here.
filmcouch-114
Is it that odd to imagine a 
In this week’s 
