It’s another slow day in the film news world, so I’m going with the usual standby, complaining once again about another beloved bunch of classic characters being reincarnated as CG poop-eaters. I never like to use phrases like “is nothing sacred,” but I was awfully close to shouting the words after reading in The Hollywood Reporter that Paramount is planning another film out of Mrs. Frisby and the Rats of NIMH using a blend of live-action and animation (probably CG).

It’s not just the comparisons to popular CG-rodent movies like box office champs G-Force and Alvin and the Chipmunks that hurt me most. Nor was it the dreaded premonition that Fievel will be next. The worst thing about this is that it comes so soon after we lost Dom DeLuise, who provided the voice of Jeremy the crow in Don Bluth’s great adaptation The Secret of NIMH (as well as its direct-to-video sequel). And if that’s not enough, Bluth probably nearly died when he heard the news, too. As long as Hollywood is going after something of his, couldn’t it at least be one of the video games, instead? Either a Dragon’s Lair or Space Ace movie would be really cool. Even in CG!

Oh well. I guess we don’t have to watch, right? Let’s see what the rest of the film bloggers are saying about their childhoods being ruined after the jump:
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In Woody Allen’s Whatever Works, Larry David plays what most people refer to as “the Woody Role.” This means that he’s filling in for Allen, who for whatever reason is showing up less and less in his films these days. But the Woody Role isn’t merely about a substitute actor starring in place of Allen, it’s often also about that performer channeling the Woody character, that neurotic persona that too many viewers believe is Allen’s true self (as if he’s simply playing himself onscreen in what are also believed to be generally autobiographical works).

David’s performance as “Boris Yelnikoff” in Whatever is not completely Woodyesque, but only because David has his own familiar neurotic onscreen persona that is very separate from — though sometimes complimentary to — Allen’s. And yet he does still come across as a Woody proxy due to the fact that he’s speaking (ranting) dialogue written by Allen rather than improvised (as in Curb Your Enthusiasm).

A number of other actors have served as Woody surrogates, some better and some worse, including a few unofficial proxies in films/series not written or directed by Allen. We list them in order from bad to best after the jump.
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I initially planned to write an Antichrist-inspired list of most misogynistic movies ever made. But after some minor research, I decided that as a man, even one who has studied feminist film theory, I’m not the best judge of what titles to choose. Besides, I figure there are already enough places on the web where we can debate whether or not Neil LaBute and Lars von Trier are misogynistic filmmakers or if they are in fact the opposite.

I could have instead attempted a list of movies that are misandric, but I don’t think hatred towards men is equally as off-putting to male viewers as misogyny is to women. So, here’s something slightly similar, also inspired by Antichrist (particularly a disturbing genital-mutilation scene in the film), because there’s certainly nothing more difficult for men to watch than scenes in which male sex organs are harmed.

Of course, cinema has been hurting guys’ balls for laughs throughout the existence of motion pictures. And plenty of action and horror flicks depict castration by shotgun, knife, van door and other means on a regular basis. Therefore, I’ve gone specifically with these six sex scenes, since they add to the pain by first teasing pleasure. But no, masochistic delight is nowhere to be found in any of these hard-to-watch movie moments.
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In the director’s statement slipped into the press notes for his Robin Williams-starring Sundance entry World’s Greatest Dad, Bobcat Goldthwait says it took him 25 years in show business to figure out that what he really wants to do is direct movies, and doing so makes him feel like he’s “getting away with murdr.” That’s a fair description of what he pulls off in Dad, in which a frustrated novelist/high school teacher (Williams) exploits the death of a loved one to plump up his own popularity. Though far more polished than Goldthwait’s 2006 Sundance competition film Sleeping Dogs Lie (also known as Stay), Dad rides the same line between obscene satire and almost mushy sincerity. I talked to Goldthwait about self-Googling, why he has no desire for his stand-up fans to see his movies, and why he’s not going on Celebrity Fit Club any time soon.

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• Robin Williams and a title like World’s Greatest Dad reek of a possible broad comedy combining Father’s Day, RV and Mrs. Doubtfire. But would you believe it will be a dark comedy in which Williams’ son dies in “an apparent autoerotic accident”? What if I told you Bobcat Goldthwait is the writer-director?

• Danny DeVito, who also had the honor of directing Williams in an audience-limiting black comedy, will make up the difference here by helming the young-adult-geared period piece The True Confessions of Charlotte Doyle. Morgan Freeman, Pierce Brosnan and Atonement’s Saoirse Ronan star.
• Speaking of Father’s Day, once-huge screenwriting duo Lowell Ganz and Babaloo Mandel are the latest to rework Touchstone’s Charlie Kaufman-by-way-of-Zach Helm-wannabe reflexive musical Bob: The Musical.
• Quentin Tarantino’s Inglorious Bastards is on the fast track towards its eventual post-theatrical Showtime run with trade-reported rumors that Brad Pitt and Leonardo DiCaprio could costar. Let me just put it out there that Williams would be a great addition, as well.
• From E3: Sony has finally launched its movie download service for its PlayStation, though it won’t feature any Universal titles (sorry, no Patch Adams), which are exclusive to Xbox 360, which of course also now works with Netflix streams.
• The New York Film Festival will open with Lauren Cantet’s Palme D’or winner, The Class. Which will probably one day be remade with Williams starring.