Not to make a career out of Woody Allen apologia, but I thought it was interesting to see critics slam Vicky Cristina Barcelona for what they perceive as Woody Allen’s misogyny when, for the first time as far as I can tell, he’s cast a woman in the typical Woody Allen role, which you’d think would be a step-up from the typical Woody Allen woman-as-love-interest paradigm.

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To be fair: Vicky Cristina Barcelona may not need my defense. Since its debut at Cannes, it has garnered some of the most positive reviews of Woody Allen’s late career. But it’s always with that caveat: it’s the best he’s done for us lately. At this point, it seems like the critical class is expected to disclaim their vitriol or praise, no matter what Allen actually puts on the screen, or which way it swings. Is it good? Well, it’s not as good as Annie Hall, but it’s not bad. Is it bad? Well, it’s not as bad as Anything Else, but it’s not good. As you might have guessed, I think Woody Allen has produced some work over the past 15 years (since the Soon-Yi “scandal”, which more or less dovetailed with the consensus opinion that his “best years” were long behind him) that is worthy of more serious consideration. But even if I didn’t think the movies deserved it, the sheer laziness that the movies seem to inspire in critics would almost give me enough incentive to passionately defend them.

To go micro before going macro: the worst thing that you can say about Vicky Cristina Barcelona is that it’s exceedingly pleasant, that it has the overall effect of a late summer, late afternoon nap. And sure, maybe, if you were inclined, it would be possible to write it all off as soft core bicurious semi-erotica (and full-on bicurious travel erotica). But I sense that Allen––if no one else––earnestly believes he’s doing more, that even in his lightest mode, he’s deeply concerned with the nagging mysteries of human relationships. Might it be creepy-old-man-ism that requires him to ask two beautiful actresses to kiss each other in an attempt to figure these mysteries out? It might be, but Woody Allen’s been a creepy old man since he was 35. To convince me that he’s totally lost it, you’re going to have to come up with better evidence than that.

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Never one to pass up an opportunity for bullying, Michael Moore has posted excerpt from his new book on his website, entitled “How to Blow It.” It’s a snide, six point “blueprint from the Democrats’ past losing campaigns” to ensure that “the Democratic Party establishment, can help elect John Sidney McCain III to a four-year extension of the Bush Era.” As Nikki Finke points out, the final item on the list is “especially intriguing” — in that Moore conflates his own self-importance with Democratic cowardice.

“Denounce me!,” Moore shouts. Obama, he says. “Better denounce me or [Republicans and pundits] will tear him to shreds. He had better back away not only from me but from anyone and everyone who veers a bit too far to the left of where his advisers have told him is the sweet spot for all those red state voters.”

Remember, this is an Opposite Day list, which means the clear implication is really, “Embrace me or you deserve to lose.” Because we certainly haven’t wasted enough time talking about which candidates are in bed with which media figures, right?

Thanks to Matt Prigge, I’ve spent the past 26 minutes watching Meetin’ WA, a 26-minute film about Woody Allen, shot in New York by Jean-Luc Godard. A good portion of the short is dedicated to a fairly formal, almost junket-style interview, with Godard asking the questions, sometimes with the help of a translator, and mostly concerning Woody’s then-new release, Hannah and Her Sisters. Godard then inserts his typically pointed commentary via almost non-sequitor intertitles and film stills. It was particularly interesting for me to see this so soon after hearing the full story of why Godard didn’t direct Little Murders, the ultimate subversive New York movie, for Eliott Gould. Fifteen years later, he’s revisiting the city and having an interesting but rather bloodless conversation with the man who is, at that point, the preeminent New York auteur, and he seems mostly concerned with Allen’s thoughts on television.  A stretch? Yeah, probably.

I’ll have some thoughts on Woody Allen’s recent work, including the about-to-premiere Vicky Cristina Barcelona, tomorrow

Just when we thought it couldn’t get any worse for The Spirit than that last trailer, the film’s Comic-Con panel seemed to verify that it’s going to be a disaster. Writer-director Frank Miller, producer Deborah Del Prete and actors Gabriel Macht, Samuel L. Jackson and Jaime King led us through the literal mud:

Highlights:

- The Spirit is claimed not to be campy, but it does apparently have toilet humor

- It’s set in a film noir-era “nevertime” yet there are cell phones

- Will Eisner probably would have disagreed with some of the scenes

- Get ready for one of the worst “underwater” scenes you’ve ever witnessed

- Jackson has a lot of toys of himself, but his favorite is Mace Windu

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After seeing the sleek teaser trailer for The Spirit, Frank Miller’s adaptation of the classic Will Eisner comics, it’s hard to believe that this new leaked trailer (originally posted on Film School Rejects, where it may still be available) is for the same movie. It begins with an arty, perfume-ad sort of misdirected marketing angle and then evolves into a goofy mix between the campy Batman series/movies, Sin City, Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow and Brenda Starr (remember that piece of crap?).

And I’m not alone in thinking it now looks pretty terrible. Bloggers and commenters around the web are mostly critical of Samuel L. Jackson’s look. Personally, I think Gabriel Macht, as the lead, looks about as lame as Billy Zane in The Phantom (is it possible domino masks are never cool on an actor?). For a roundup of what others are saying, since you probably can no longer see the clip out yourself, check out some links after the jump.

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Since the conversation about internet and day-and-date distribution really started to heat up in 2005, the alternatives to theatrical distribution have seemed to only multiply and evolve, while the general perception of public exhibition has remained about the same: filmmakers like it, but in terms of bottom line, it’s only useful as an extended commercial for ancillaries such as DVD. But is that perception changing? Two related quotes of note popped up in the feeds this morning.

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• Enter our Presidential Zombie Photoshop Contest! And if you need inspiration, watch the brilliant Aussie zombie short I Love Sarah Jane.
• Karina in Cannes: Follow her here. Also: Black Downey Jr. Billboards; Damme on Van Damme; THINKfilm’s Cannes do; Waltz With Bashir trailer; Sex on the way to Cannes.
• The “controversial” lesbian kiss revealed: Vicky Cristina Barcelona trailer and sexy screencap.
• 5 Reasons Brad Pitt Should Play Thor.
• 5 Reasons Why Speed Racer’s Failure is Bad For Movies. By the way, it’s failure was bigger than initially announced.
• Louise Brooks, still sexy at 78 in ‘84.
• Roger Corman, worthy of a doc in ‘08.
• The Angelika Film Center whores itself for Sex (and the City: The Movie).
• On the podcast: interviewing internet-famous filmmakers.
• Downfall is a huge hit with YouTube spoofers.
• Why not let Uwe Boll make a GTA movie? At the end of the day (and word), he might be the most awesome filmmaker ever.
• Cronenberg’s remaking Timecrimes (and Herzog’s remaking Bad Lieutenant).
• Jessica Alba + Charlie Chaplin = more feminist film theory.
• Oliver Stone’s Bush biopic may be the Rocky Horror of political satire.
• Fear and Loathing in Cinevegas: the most psychedelic film festival promo ever?
• Karina professes her love for Jennifer Jones, whose tribute she’ll be missing.
• Who’s that blue guy in the Magneto movie?
• What’s that iPod doing in Wall-E?
• How’s the twist in The Happening?
• Steven Boone watches The Bank Job at a halfway house.
• Indiana Jones = bad archaeologist; Nazis = good archaeologists.
• Robert Rauschenberg, R.I.P.

If the mere news of Scarlett Johansson and Penelope Cruz’s lesbian sex scene wasn’t enough to sell you on Woody Allen’s Vicky Cristina Barcelona, this new trailer should seal the deal. The shot of the two actresses kissing goes by quick and is poorly lit, and it’s buried between footage of Javier Bardem separately making out with pretty much the entire female cast, but it’s there. And just to prove it, I’ve given you a sneak peek above.

With Allen’s career relatively flaccid of late, let’s hope for his sake that the steamy scene gives rise to the largest audience the Woodster’s seen in years. Then again, the last time ScarJo attempted to use lesbianism as a marketing tool, it didn’t help The Other Boleyn Girl.

Check out the whole trailer (as long as it’s available) after the jump

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