Just as we’d prefer for Hollywood to remake bad films rather than beloved classics, we’d also like to see more TV adaptations of obscure and failed series — as long as there’s going to be such a giant void of creativity anyway, why not go for the forgotten titles and at least make it seem like you’ve got fresh ideas?
Unfortunately, Hollywood continues to ignore our logic and is instead adapting the popular 80s cop show T.J. Hooker for the big screen. It may not be the most familiar or beloved series of all time, but it has enough name recognition to make it a success, a la the S.W.A.T. and Starsky & Hutch movies before it.
We have no interest in yet another veteran/rookie team-up, though, especially a blatantly recycled one. So we decided to mine deeper into our TV Guide issues from the 80s and pick out some lesser-known high-concept shows that would make awesome movies if only they had more of a built-in, nostalgic audience to justify a green light.
Check out our pitches after the jump, and thank us when Hollywood gets wise to the ideas.
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Two westerns on AMC show strong men grappling with the loss of freedom and dignity. The Shootist is John Wayne’s last film, and though the Duke is normally invincible in his movies, this one begins with the premise that he’s dying of cancer. He sets one last goal for himself–to die in a shootout.
Then there’s Open Range, the rare film that Kevin Costner is perfect for. Costner plays a haunted Civil War veteran of a killing persuasion, which he unleashes when a friend is cruelly beaten by a group of trigger-happy thugs. Also featuring the excellent Annette Benning and Robert Duvall, and one of the most intense gun battles I’ve ever seen on film.
If westerns aren’t your thing, you’ve got the classic Jason and the Argonauts playing on TCM. Not everything about the film has aged well, but Ray Harryhausen’s stop-motion skeletons still give me the creeps.
Also playing tonight is the Samuel L. Jackson vehicle S.W.A.T. I only saw the last twenty minutes of it at a drive-in, but if that’s supposed to be the exciting climax I’d hate to see what comes before it.