There are those who think it’s time for a moratorium on Holocaust movies, and there are those who stand by the belief that there won’t be enough until there’s been 6 million produced and released. As of 2003, we were up to at least 442 titles, according to Annette Insdorf’s book Indelible Shadows. And due to last year’s boom of Holocaust-related features, it seems as though Insdorf could easily add another 100 more to the list in her next edition.

But there’s no need to put an end to Holocaust films, anymore than there’s a need to cease making any genre of movie. A good film is a good film, no matter if it’s set in a concentration camp, features Nazis or merely alludes to the Shoah. And a bad movie is a bad movie, an exploitative movie is an exploitative movie and Oscar bait is Oscar bait. Beginning this Tuesday, when The Boy in the Striped Pajamas arrives on DVD, those hungering for more Holocaust movies will get another shot at seeing 2008’s contributions to the genre, but they’ll also start to see why critics were getting tired of these films. It wasn’t the subject matter, though, and it wasn’t necessarily the quantity so much as it was the quality. These days, Holocaust films are more dependent on clichés and are adversely affected by trends than ever before, even when they appear to be intent on breaking with conventions. Here is an excellent bit from a Mr.Cranky review of Defiance:

Here’s the thing: the more bad Holocaust films you make, the more Holocaust clichés you employ, the more the Holocaust itself becomes a cliché. The first few Holocaust films had a message and were probably intended to be meaningful. The last hundred were commercial vehicles designed to play on audience sympathies and line the producers’ pockets with money. Ultimately, Hollywood has done what every Jew on the planet pleas desperately to never happen: made the Holocaust meaningless on a pop culture scale.

As soon as filmmakers can completely abandon all ten of the following problems with the Holocaust genre, the better off we’ll be in getting to those 6 million titles without further protest.
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We’ve known for months that absolutely nothing was wrong with Valkyrie, and now we’re just a few days away from watching this tiny independent feature storm the box office, redeem United Artists as a production entity and make Tom Cruise a respectable household name again.

Of course, there is the slight problem: he’s portraying Nazi Colonel Claus von Stauffenberg, who may have disagreed with the party politics, but still rocked the swastika and straight salute.  How exactly did Cruise, one of the great symbols of the “Blockbuster Film” and American culture, wind up so perfectly suited as a crippled, over-zealous Nazi embroiled in conspiracy? We’ve excavated evidence from his filmography to track the transformation.

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• Tom Cruise is potentially re-teaming with Valkyrie screenwriter Christopher McQuarrie on up to three projects, including another WWII flick that would put Cruise in the pilot seat again, Flying Tigers. Cruise is likely happy with the initial reception of Valkyrie, though sticking with McQuarrie for so long may keep him from diverse roles. The other two projects include the espionage drama The Tourist and the adaptation of the 60s TV show The Champions, which deals with super-powered spies.
• Frank Miller is re-teaming with Odd Lot Entertainment for a dark Buck Rogers movie that he’ll write and direct. The announcement comes just in time, before an onslaught of bad reviews of The Spirit join Variety’s pan.
• Stephen Chow will no longer direct but will still co-star in The Green Hornet. Apparently his creative differences don’t extend to his onscreen role of Kato. Maybe this is co-scribe and star Seth Rogen’s chance to try directing?
• Clearly wise to how The Curious Case of Benjamin Button is beating Australia in the kudos department, Baz Luhrman is taking on his own F. Scott Fitzgerald adaptation: The Great Gatsby.
• Jim Carrey will beat Will Smith at the box office this weekend, simply because his film, Yes Man, is a comedy. In other theatrical release news, the four-hour version of Che has been so popular that IFC is keeping it in cinemas another two weekends before separating it into two films.

If yesterday’s clip of Muppets disco dancing wasn’t childish enough for you, check out today’s trippy video. I don’t quite understand the inspiration behind the concept, but someone decided to superimpose the heads of the cast from Valkyrie onto little bodies in elf costumes dancing to a disco version of “We Wish You a Merry Christmas” (courtesy of JibJab’s Elf Yourself program). Tom Cruise with an eyepatch was odd enough. Tom Cruise with an eyepatch flailing his arms about like a Nazi Tony Manero is just about the strangest thing I’ve ever seen.

Just what are these guys so excited about? The holidays? The death of Hitler (though not thanks to them)? Or could it be they’re celebrating the fact that the reviews of Valkyrie aren’t as dreadful as many expected? Unfortunately, as far as I can tell, the actual movie doesn’t feature any scenes as great as this one.

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One of the many things Illinois Governor Rod Blagojevich did this week — instead of resigning from his position, as many people desired — was sign into law an increase on tax credits for films produced in his state. So, it should be only appropriate, and somewhat bittersweet, for the inevitable movie about his life and corruption hearings to be shot there.

Now that we’ve got a location for the film, it’s time to cast the players in Blogojevich’s scandalous tale. The Washington Post has already published a list of possible actors to portray the lead (John Travolta, Sean Astin, Gary Cole, Stephen Baldwin, Tom Cruise, Ray Liotta, Charlie Sheen, Mike Myers and Steve Carrell), but more difficult than casting Blogojevich (see our pick below) is determining what other significant figures should be prominently featured.

A straight biopic calls for way too many characters, so we’ve narrowed the film down to focus on just Blagojevich’s arrest and subsequent (forthcoming) trial. As always, if there’s another character to be included or another thespian suited to a role we’ve cast, chime in with a comment. Also, due to the fact that we’ve previously done posts about Barack Obama casting, let’s just assume that he’ll only be portrayed by a voice on the phone, a la Al Gore in Recount.
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If you haven’t already heard the news, I’ll sum it up for you: Ridley Scott is directing a feature film version of Monopoly. It’s probably the single strangest thing I’ve ever heard in the film business. I’m not sure if Scott himself seems to know what this movie will be about, because he keeps waffling on the subject: one moment he says it’ll be a broad family comedy, and the next minute it’s going to be dark like Blade Runner. He seems to have only been wooed by the fact that it’s one of the best-selling board games in the world.

This doesn’t mean that making a movie out of a board game is a bad idea, necessarily. It worked for Clue, after all. But unless Scott’s movie features Rich Uncle Pennybags jumping around with his monocle screwed firmly in place, I’m going to have to call shenanigans on it. Check out our list below of the 10 Board Games We’d Like To See As Movies, complete with fantasy casting.

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• Is it possible to concentrate on ANYTHING other than the election today? Does that not make today the perfect day for MGM to announce that they’re letting the Farrelly Brothers make a Three Stooges movie?
• Meanwhile, Variety has a rundown of what various famous people are up to today. MagiC Johnson lent his voice to a No on Prop 8 robocall, Hollywood Republicans (they exist!) are meeting up at Barney’s Beanery, and Harvey Weinstein is throwing a party in New York (no, we were not invited).
• Election, schmerschmection: Charlize Theron will star as a sexy (one assumes) Interpol agent opposite Tom Cruise in The Tourist; Arthouse Films will distribute the documentary Herb and Dorothy; and Michael Douglas will be honored by the PGA in January.

• Today in Possibly Fake Protests: “An Islamic civil rights and advocacy group” wants Warner Brothers to change the title of Alan Ball’s Towelhead, because they find it offensive. When Towelhead, based on a novel called Towelhead, premiered at Toronto last year, it was called Nothing is Private; they changed it to Towelhead in the hopes of drawing more attention, That was eight months ago, and no one cared. Until now! Two weeks before the movie’s release!
• MGM released a statement denying reports that the studio is for sale. Earlier this month, rumors spread that Kirk Kerkorian had made an offer to buy the studio for the 17th time, and everyone kind of assumes that Paula Wagner’s recent exit from United Artists suggests that that wing of MGM is in trouble.
• Reservoir Dogs, The Bank Job, Gods and Monsters, Girl With a Pearl Earring and Requiem for a Dream are among the Lionsgate titles now available for online download via a deal between the studio and Jaman.com.

Originally, today’s clip was to be of Tom Cruise’s dance from Tropic Thunder. But, because the internet is not the utopia we like to think it is, the leaked footage has been removed from all formats that I’m aware of.* So, instead, let’s have a retro moment and remember what it was like when Tom Cruise had enjoyable dance sequences. When he wasn’t trying too hard to be funny and failing miserably in the process.

Of course, as I’ve seen with some recent comments to an old post about Cruise’s supposed scene stealing role in Tropic Thunder, there are people enjoying his new dance moves, too. But I have to agree with the guys at Vulture who stated right away that he’s just not that funny in the movie. And not only that, but I’ve now seen Tropic Thunder twice, and Cruise’s over the top swearing and dancing only gets worse the more times you see it (fortunately Robert Downey Jr. gets funnier each time). Not only am I shocked that anybody would let him do an encore of the dancing, I’m amazed that it’s the last thing we get from the otherwise decent movie — if ever there was a missed opportunity for a post-credits sequence, this was it.

Sing it with me: Still like that old time Tom Cruise dance. That kind of scene in which he wears no pants. I reminisce about the days of “Joel.” With that “Old Time Rock and Roll.”

*UPDATE: Oh, wait, I found another copy for the curious. Check it out after the jump (spoiler alert).

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I wish I had smuggled the Polaroid snapshot of Nolte from my former employer, a men’s homeless shelter. Nolte wasn’t his real name, but I’ll be damned if the scruffy, gin-blossomed, gravel-voiced Vietnam veteran wasn’t a ringer for Nick Nolte playing a Nam burnout. He wore mirror shades and ratty field jacket festooned with medals and POW/MIA buttons. He complained that the thunder erupting from the building’s boiler at night gave him jungle flashbacks. There are cliches and there are cliches. Beyond the impossibility of his extreme Nolte-ness and 1,000 yard silences, the man was really suffering. One time he lifted his shades to show me.

Yesterday I was shocked to see Nolte again, up on the big screen in Tropic Thunder. This was my Nolte. A Nam vet whose acclaimed book of war stories inspires a cash-in film adaptation, the character played by Real Nolte emerges on the troubled set like Quint in Jaws, leading our comic heroes not out to sea but into the heart of darkness. In a shot mournfully photographed by John Toll, Nolte stares out at the jungle mists from a mountain perch and answers a query about a weapon with, “I don’t know what it’s called, but I know the sound that it makes when it takes a man’s life.” It’s like, out of nowhere, ten seconds of Malick or Herzog. Later on, Nolte’s heart-of-darkness act and its function in American mythology get deconstructed (or demolished) like Warren Beatty’s frontier pimp in McCabe and Mrs. Miller.

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• Paula Wagner, Tom Cruise’s long-time producing partner, is leaving her post at the top of United Artists. Though Wagner will hold on to a share of UA––which has barely made use of their $500 million credit line, due to some friction with parent studio MGM over which movies to greenlight––apparently “it’s possible that the studio will once again go into hibernation and that the UA coin will go to MGM.”
• Totally coincidentally, the release date on UA’s next big production, the bad buzz-plagued Tom Cruise-in-an-eye patch vehicle Valkyrie, has been moved to Dec. 26 from Feb. 13, allegedly to capitalize on holiday audiences.
• In news that has to do with Cruise but is totally unrelated to Paula Wagner, he might star in The Tourist, a remake of a 2005 French film called Anthony Zimmer, with an adaptation by Julian Fellowes.
• Magnolia is funneling a few of genre-arm Magnet’s recent acquisitions into a theatrical release label called the Six Shooter Film Series. The Series will start with the Tribeca-lauded Swedish vampire flick Let the Right One In, and will also showcase Sundance picks Special and Timecrimes.

• In what is probably the only case on record of an oft-voted Sexiest Woman Alive replacing a defensively heterosexual male megastar in a Hollywood thriller, espionage film Edwin A. Salt is being rewritten to star Angelina Jolie instead of Tom Cruise.
• Does anyone else sort of wonder if this whole Tropic Thunder “retard” protest is actually just an “alternative” marketing thing, paid for by Dreamworks to make the film’s satire look “dangerous”? Although I have to admit, canceling the premiere after party would be going a little far for a campaign…
• Helen Mirren’s husband will direct a film about Tennessee Williams’ dysfunctional childhood. The Cloverfield guy will produce a movie about an earthquake. The Japanese girl from Babel will star as an undercover hit woman in the next film from Isabel Coixet.

We’re less than a week away from the release of Tropic Thunder, and as the reviews and puff pieces make their way onto the web, there’s one thing clearly uniting the media’s coverage: talk of Tom Cruise’s appearance in a small role as a Hollywood studio boss. Everyone seems to agree that he steals the show and that his performance — or the joke surrounding it — is one of the comedy’s major highlights, if not the actual best part.

Of course, we can expect a good cameo from Cruise every now and then. He showed up for a bit part in Young Guns and played himself as playing “Austin Powers” in Austin Powers in Goldmember. But from what it sounds like, his role in Tropic Thunder is featured for longer than might qualify as a cameo. Some are regardless referring to the performance as an “extended cameo”, and in theory it certainly fits in with the huge crop of so-called “ironic cameos” that have become popular in movies and TV in the last ten years.

Still, despite my not having yet seen the movie, I’m thinking that Tom Cruise’s involvement in Tropic Thunder is more like the following list, which consists of merely small roles filled by big stars. You might consider some of them to be technically cameos, especially the ones that aren’t integral to the plot and/or call attention to themselves. But with each of the roles I’ve included, I consider them to be either the best part of their respective movies or at least a major highlight, which is how Cruise’s appearance is being touted. Anyway, forgive me for trying to come up with something different than simply a best cameo list, even if the focus here seems less than clear.

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• In a piece at The House Next Door subtitled “More Valuable Than Sex,” Andrew Johnston talks about the 80s teen movie that taught him that “a real, intimate connection with someone you can turn to in your darkest hour is more valuable than mere sex — a downright subversive notion in an era loaded with movies about hormone-crazed maniacs desperate to lose their virginity by any means necessary.” And what film was this? You’ll have to click through, but here’s a hint: it’s vaguely related to the item below.
  
• Mr. Skin: first the Wikipedia for nudity in Hollywood movies, then a minor plot point in Knocked Up. Now? It’s a blog. The top entry as of this writing: “Who’s the Hottest Wife of Tom Cruise — Mimi Rogers, Nicole Kidman, or Katie Holmes?” I vote Mimi. Via Fleshbot
• Above: a “kiss for the ages” from Frank Borzage’s Desire, via Daniel Kasman.