The opening credits of Tony Scott’s remake of The Taking of Pelham 123 are set to a remix of Jay-Z’s masterpiece pop single, “99 Problems.” Our first extreme close-up glimpse at the face of John Travolta’s goateed growler, with diamond cross stud in right ear to immediately clue us in to his Catholicism/Achilles Heel, coincides with the first burst of the song’s chorus: “I’ve got 99 Problems but a bitch ain’t one. Hit me!” When I saw the movie, I was sitting next to an older gentleman who, at the close of that first “Hit me!”, audibly groaned. This was just the beginning of his displeasure. In the film’s final scene, there’s a joke about a local New York sports team, which, I thought, worked thanks to James Gandolfini’s delivery. I laughed - not a sustained chuckle, but a single, barked “Ha!” The guy sitting next to me turned to his friend and said, in a voice far above a whisper, “That wasn’t funny! It wasn’t even funny!”
It’s hard for me to understand how someone could get so worked up about the choices made by director Scott in his completely unnecessary remake of the 70s cult classic. Aside from that laugh and a couple of others, which came virtually as knee jerk trained responses to John Travolta’s sleepwalk through his role as a crackpot train hijacker, I felt nothing whilst watching this film. It was almost a Zen thing, a level of calm non-emotion which, I must say, I have rarely experienced at a screening of a studio action film. I’d say that the ultimate affect of Pelham is like being trapped in a loop of white noise, but that sounds sort of cool and futurist, and this film is neither of those things — it’s more like swimming laps in bowl of room-temperature oatmeal. After the screening, I was 10th in line for the ladies room, which gave me time to think about the word “pointless,” and how often it’s wasted to describe endeavors that are merely so boring that they make us resent the expenditure of time, but which actually do have a goal. By the time I’ve moved up to 3rd in line, I’ve vowed to reserve my use of the word “pointless” for experiences like The Taking of Pelham 123, which are literally pointless, in that there is no point of impact. They simply do not have a reason to exist.
Well, maybe this one has *one* reason.
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For all the media speculation on how the Obama presidency will affect pop culture, it’s surprising that Barack and Michelle’s marriage is not discussed much. This is a couple who embrace often, and not just for camera opportunities. She has even been seen wearing his coat as if it were a high school varsity jacket. Have we ever seen a happier presidential marriage? Seriously, if the Clinton era birthed a film like American Beauty, it’s no wonder that Revolutionary Road can only earn about an eighth of that film’s domestic gross now that the Obamas are in the White House.
But can Barack and Michelle inspire happier onscreen marriages? And can that in turn influence marriage in America? Although the divorce rate was higher thirty years ago than it is now, the marriage rate in this country is at an all-time low. And that’s probably because young people haven’t had an ideal married couple they could look up to. So, in order to help Hollywood produce more loving movie marriages, we’ve selected five onscreen pairings that may serve as models.
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Surely this comes as no surprise to anyone, but the Academy has bypassed its rule for the Best Picture category 
