For their new film, Sugar, writer-directors Ryan Fleck and Anna Boden cast an actual Dominican baseball player for the lead role of Miguel ‘Sugar’ Santos, a … Dominican baseball player. This employment of a non-actor with appropriate skill of course adds credibility to scenes depicting the sport while also qualifying Sugar as part of the current “neo-neorealism” trend. But Algenis Perez Soto is not the first real athlete to play a fictional athlete onscreen. Recall that before Shaquille O’Neal did his worst playing a genie and then a superhero, the NBA star played a college basketball player in Blue Chips.

Typically, though, casting a real player as a fictional player isn’t necessarily for authenticity; many pros end up starring in films as fantastical as Space Jam and Like Mike, and often they take a back seat to a Hollywood star in the lead sportsman role, whether that actor can truly play the game or not. If he or she can’t, it’s likely they’ll be made to look like they have the moves, and in many cases such an attempt at faking it fails. To illustrate why it might always be best for filmmakers to do as Fleck and Boden have done, we’ve selected five of the most unconvincing sports moments on film.
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September is often used as a dumping ground for movies, but this year it also appears to be a dumping ground for once-great or once-promising talents who’ve lost their way. I’ve taken note of at least 10 individuals (actors, actresses and a couple filmmakers) who have new films out this month (I’m counting the Labor Day weekend, too) who are due for a visit from the Ghost of Movies Past.

More specifically, these people need to backtrack to the ‘90s, which is when most of them did their last truly great work. Perhaps they need to take a look at that earlier work and remember what it was they used to do. Or perhaps they just need to get advice from the Coen brothers, who similarly hit a slump in the new millennium, but who are now back on track with a few more Oscars in hand and a new comedy, Burn After Reading, which looks to be more in line with their ‘90s classic The Big Lebowski than their 2000s missteps Intolerable Cruelty and The Ladykillers.

Nicolas Cage (guilty September 2008 release: Bangkok Dangerous)

It could be argued that Cage made just as many worthless movies in the ‘90s as he has in the ‘00s. Also, considering his box office success with Ghost Rider and the National Treasure movies, plus his excellent Oscar-nominated dual role in Adaptation, it’s debatable that he’s “lost his way.” But it’s clear to me, at least, that he currently lacks any concern for the quality of his work, as evidenced by this month’s Bangkok Dangerous, which makes even Con Air look well crafted by comparison. In the ‘90s, Cage was doing much greater work for Scorsese, Lynch and even Michael Bay, and he won an Oscar for Best Actor, too. Unless he starts caring about the roles he chooses, he’s more likely to one day receive lifetime recognition by the Razzies than a lifetime achievement award from the Academy. Who he needs to work with again to get it back: the Coens; Uncle Francis (Ford Coppola); Scorsese; even Michael Bay would be good.

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The only possible advantage a small-ish movie like Transsiberian has when opening on the same weekend as the biggest box office draw in recent memory, is that in cities where Transsiberian is being shown, The Dark Knight’s screenings have been sold out for weeks. So, if you’ve been left out in the cold by Batman, go see Transsiberian. Or better yet, see them both.

Transibberian is the most enjoyable film I saw at Sundance this last January. As far as best film, I’d say it’s tied with the steroids doc Bigger, Stronger, Faster. Transsiberian is directed by Brad Anderson. (Also known for The Machinist, which is maybe where Christopher Nolan found his next Batman? Discuss). It follows the story of an American couple, Roy (Woody Harrelson) and Jessie (Emily Mortimer) as they travel the transsiberian railway from China to Europe after a mission trip. Tensions in their marriage are clear, Roy is a squeaky-clean do-gooder, tapping into a delightful naiveté we haven’t seen since Cheers. Jessie, on the other hand, is a reformed bad-girl. Mortimer makes her apprehension about having settled with Roy readily apparent without overdoing it.
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• Do adults actually take President’s Day off? The studios, assuming *someone* isn’t going to work or school today, opened their movies on Thursday night and are going to keep tabulating grosses through the end of today. This means Jumper will easily cross $40 million in its first frame, all but guaranteeing its franchise potential. Also, I was barely aware that it had even opened, but 27 Dresses is currently grossing about three times as much per weekend as Cloverfield, and it may even gross $100 million before it fades from theaters.
• Yawn. Variety launches their latest anti-internet screed, as Brian Lowry uses a post-strike think piece as the venue to rail against the “sometimes ugly, insular and semi-delusional worlds the Net can perpetuate.”
• Will Arnett and Woody Harrelson are joining Will Ferrell on the Funny or Die comedy tour, to promote their upcoming Semi-Pro. Too bad for you, it’s been sold out for ages.

Sundance 5: Blackout

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On Friday night, Park City endured a brief but hysteria-inducing blackout. The next morning, Joe and Ronnie assess the damage, and ask a zealous festivalgoer the question: “What is it that makes you want to hug a celebrity?”

Previous Sundance video coverage from Joe and Ronnie:

The Sucker and the Crank
Opening Night
Who Killed Davey Moore?
Melee on Main Street
George Romero

You can watch all of Joe and Ronnie’s Sundance coverage, as well as the trailer and promos for Butterknife, at our MySpace page.